Friday Sermon

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Interesting thing...Friday is the day in which most people fuck off for more hours than any other day.  It is ALSO, however, traditionally the slowest day on PD.  This implies that most PDers are fucking off when it comes to fucking off, and I for one think that this is shameful.

Whatever happened to the good old days, when people were serious about wasting company time?  All gone, gone like the water cooler, gone like the office football pool.  Even shiftless & lazy bastards like Discordians seem to be caught up in some "efficiency" dead end.  Or "hard work".

And I have to ask you, when did efficiency and hard work do anyone any good?

Franky, I find the entire CONCEPT to be utterly alien & inimical to The American Way™.  And I think that Discordians are in grave danger of becoming backsliders.  Sure, they're "just tying up some loose ends" NOW, but soon they'll think, "Well, it can't hurt if I attend just ONE Rotarian meeting".

Next thing you know, they're crawling up the drive to the house, broken in every way, while mumbling that they really need to get that lawn mowed, just as soon as they can catch their breaths.

Well, let it be said now...When THAT day comes, I shall have NO SYMPATHY for you.  For by THAT time, you will have become utterly indistinguishable from the po'buckers and pay'buckers that make up this sorry fucking excuse for a "culture".

Because it seems there's time for that Johnson Report, there's time to tie up those financials, time for everything EXCEPT "Bob" or "Eris". 

And thus, ye are DAMNED.

Or Kill Me.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

You make a strong case here rev. Better for me to get my work done swiftly earlier in the week so i can have my fridays to myself and my whims.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

You make a strong case here rev. Better for me to get my work done swiftly earlier in the week so i can have my fridays to myself and my whims.

Assuming that work actually has to be done, yes.  Otherwise, blow it off and blame the lack of results on unclear and conflicting instructions.

Thing is, we've all been too lenient on each other over the last year or so.  Remington, Semaj, Demo Squid, etc...All have sort of sunk back into the mire of workaday hum-drum bullshit that turns a human being into a mule.

Actually, I think Demo Squid left because he was mad at me for hollering, which puzzles me.  I always holler.

NOW DON'T GET ME WRONG:  This isn't a "POST MORE, YOU FOOLS" thread.  Shit, do whatchalike.  No, it's more that I can't help but noticing that there's less people here on Friday, which is a HOLY DAY and a traditional day for FUCKING OFF.  And since that usually means FUCKING OFF IN THE OFFICE, PD is where I'd expect to see said FUCKING OFF occur.

Unless you shitbags have no porn filter, in which case I will kill you with my very own age-withered & claw-like hands.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

The logical result of this insult to Slack is: "I pulled a double at Target and then I went home and canned tomatoes!" (Displays burnt hands from peeling hot tomatoes because the dumbass didn't douse them in cold water to make the skins slide off).

[Nephew Twiddleton]

No i got the meaning. Serious business has no place in a friday.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

MY HOME IS MY OFFICE. IF I SO CHOOSE, I CAN DRINK BEER AND WEAR SKIVVIES AT WORK. AND POST.

[Luna]

I'm back at working at a fucking public school system.  I can get to a list of APPROVED websites.  To get any slack at all, I have to use my busted smartphone...as long as I don't try to use the wifi, which is also nannywalled tighter than a hummingbird's asshole.

Yet, here I am.   

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Can't you just see Remington in 15 years?  Sitting around the office at whatever dreary ministry he winds up in, chuckling with his fellow aging geeks...

"Yeah, sure, I used to be a Discordian.  We played some logic games, and this one guy Crammed my gram, and they made some funny photoshops of my sister photobombing the holocaust.  But then it was time to grow up, you know, so here I am in the interior ministry, making sure my paperwork is properly filled out.  Then I go home to my wife and we watch The Beach Combers and Coronation Street, have regulation sex once per week, and I occasionally see these "children" things I have.  Beastly things, don't know why I got them.  I guess I'll retire at some point before I die, and maybe I can be silly for a little while then, too.  Maybe.  I might take up whittling instead."

And poor demo squid?  Given his location, it's really too awful to contemplate.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Can't you just see Remington in 15 years?  Sitting around the office at whatever dreary ministry he winds up in, chuckling with his fellow aging geeks...

"Yeah, sure, I used to be a Discordian.  We played some logic games, and this one guy Crammed my gram, and they made some funny photoshops of my sister photobombing the holocaust.  But then it was time to grow up, you know, so here I am in the interior ministry, making sure my paperwork is properly filled out.  Then I go home to my wife and we watch The Beach Combers and Coronation Street, have regulation sex once per week, and I occasionally see these "children" things I have.  Beastly things, don't know why I got them.  I guess I'll retire at some point before I die, and maybe I can be silly for a little while then, too.  Maybe.  I might take up whittling instead."

And poor demo squid?  Given his location, it's really too awful to contemplate.

GHAAAAA that reminds me of those people who say things like "I know that band, when I was in college we all chipped in just to get their CD. Now I'm an adult and I listen to the clothes dryer on my day off." 

[LMNO]

I was fucking off at the bar for a 4-pint lunch.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

I was fucking off at the bar for a 4-pint lunch.

Good man. 

[The Good Reverend Roger]

It strikes me that many people THINK they want chaos, but even the miniscule amounts of chaos that appear on PD seem to be a little much, when you come right down to it.  I think it comes back down to the Nigel Axiom:  Discordia is never quite what you want it to be.  Or maybe that it's what you want it to be, but there's other stuff that pisses you off. 

Some want an audience for their zany antics.
Some want ideas for postering, etc.
Some want a place to bemoan the awful realities of this day & age.
Some want pinealism.
Some want to talk about their music or their hobbies.

PD does provide a venue for these things, and that may be part of the problem.  Many people only want to discuss what already interests them, but can't be arsed to stick their toe in new waters. 

And, of course, some want many of the above things, but they want everyone else to indulge their idiosyncracies while NOT wanting to indulge other peoples' idiocyncracies. 

So eventually they leave, soured on the idea of Discordianism, having never actually tried it, because they never did learn to look at things from anything other than a "me" perspective.  They were never actually here.  I do not scorn these people, for no amount of my scorn could possibly be worse than what life has in store for them, given that they are so foolish as to go it on their own.

Consider:  At PD, you have other freaks and maladjusted square pegs to discuss things with, if you ever get around to really getting to know them.  Sure, TGRR or ECH might aim arse at you and bellow, or Nigel might be RIGHT about something, or LMNO might do something FABULOUS while you aren't paying attention...That's all part of it, though not nearly the entirety.

But out THERE, they have a stone for you.  It goes on your shoulders, and you must carry it everywhere you go.  That stone has a name, and that name is "CONVENTION".  It will grow heavier and heavier, and eventually push you right into the ground...The stone will have your name, it will have the date at which you were born and when you died, and it will bear the words "I wish I'd spent more time at the office".

So again, I do not scorn or deride those who have fallen by the wayside.  It would be redundant and more than a little petty.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I was fucking off at the bar for a 4-pint lunch.

Well done.  That's the sort of "can do" attitude we NEED around here.

[LMNO]

It strikes me that many people THINK they want chaos, but even the miniscule amounts of chaos that appear on PD seem to be a little much, when you come right down to it.  I think it comes back down to the Nigel Axiom:  Discordia is never quite what you want it to be.  Or maybe that it's what you want it to be, but there's other stuff that pisses you off. 

Some want an audience for their zany antics.
Some want ideas for postering, etc.
Some want a place to bemoan the awful realities of this day & age.
Some want pinealism.
Some want to talk about their music or their hobbies.

PD does provide a venue for these things, and that may be part of the problem.  Many people only want to discuss what already interests them, but can't be arsed to stick their toe in new waters. 

And, of course, some want many of the above things, but they want everyone else to indulge their idiosyncracies while NOT wanting to indulge other peoples' idiocyncracies. 

So eventually they leave, soured on the idea of Discordianism, having never actually tried it, because they never did learn to look at things from anything other than a "me" perspective.  They were never actually here.  I do not scorn these people, for no amount of my scorn could possibly be worse than what life has in store for them, given that they are so foolish as to go it on their own.

Consider:  At PD, you have other freaks and maladjusted square pegs to discuss things with, if you ever get around to really getting to know them.  Sure, TGRR or ECH might aim arse at you and bellow, or Nigel might be RIGHT about something, or LMNO might do something FABULOUS while you aren't paying attention...That's all part of it, though not nearly the entirety.

But out THERE, they have a stone for you.  It goes on your shoulders, and you must carry it everywhere you go.  That stone has a name, and that name is "CONVENTION".  It will grow heavier and heavier, and eventually push you right into the ground...The stone will have your name, it will have the date at which you were born and when you died, and it will bear the words "I wish I'd spent more time at the office".

So again, I do not scorn or deride those who have fallen by the wayside.  It would be redundant and more than a little petty.

Preach it, brother.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

It strikes me that many people THINK they want chaos, but even the miniscule amounts of chaos that appear on PD seem to be a little much, when you come right down to it.  I think it comes back down to the Nigel Axiom:  Discordia is never quite what you want it to be.  Or maybe that it's what you want it to be, but there's other stuff that pisses you off. 

Some want an audience for their zany antics.
Some want ideas for postering, etc.
Some want a place to bemoan the awful realities of this day & age.
Some want pinealism.
Some want to talk about their music or their hobbies.

PD does provide a venue for these things, and that may be part of the problem.  Many people only want to discuss what already interests them, but can't be arsed to stick their toe in new waters. 

And, of course, some want many of the above things, but they want everyone else to indulge their idiosyncracies while NOT wanting to indulge other peoples' idiocyncracies. 

So eventually they leave, soured on the idea of Discordianism, having never actually tried it, because they never did learn to look at things from anything other than a "me" perspective.  They were never actually here.  I do not scorn these people, for no amount of my scorn could possibly be worse than what life has in store for them, given that they are so foolish as to go it on their own.

Consider:  At PD, you have other freaks and maladjusted square pegs to discuss things with, if you ever get around to really getting to know them.  Sure, TGRR or ECH might aim arse at you and bellow, or Nigel might be RIGHT about something, or LMNO might do something FABULOUS while you aren't paying attention...That's all part of it, though not nearly the entirety.

But out THERE, they have a stone for you.  It goes on your shoulders, and you must carry it everywhere you go.  That stone has a name, and that name is "CONVENTION".  It will grow heavier and heavier, and eventually push you right into the ground...The stone will have your name, it will have the date at which you were born and when you died, and it will bear the words "I wish I'd spent more time at the office".

So again, I do not scorn or deride those who have fallen by the wayside.  It would be redundant and more than a little petty.

Preach it, brother.

AND PD JUST ATE MY ENTIRE FUCKING FOLLOW UP SERMON.