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Coyote: A word with you.

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, June 12, 2012, 07:28:02 PM

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LMNO

#15
June 14, 2012, 03:58:57 AM
Now remember, I spent all of almost an hour doing that, so don't go wasting all of your gratitude all at once.


LMNO
-kind of a dick.

Epimetheus

#16
June 14, 2012, 04:02:42 AM

Quote from: Guru Quixote on June 13, 2012, 11:19:13 PM
Buy Peace Bonds, sell War Bonds, exchange Chili Bonds, steal Fap Bonds, pirate Viagra Bonds. What more and less tv. Devour an entire free range rare steak, wash it down with a diet cola beverage. Give lions the stink eye while you eat a garden burger, feeling smug that you are a primate that doesn't eat meat. Disregard the chemical tastes of the stews that are used to solidify and stabilize the fats in your diet, that you shouldn't be eating except when you are lowcarbing. Pay $100 of shitty boots that were made from recycled materials in Pakistan in a free trade workshop. Fight the system by using your iphone to tweet your videos on youtube that you took of the horrors of recycling high tech that no one loves or wants. Then recycle your iphone in a year when the newest and besterer one comes out. Remind everyone how much you need the unlimited data so you can share your lolcats and witty insight into how stupid the president's hair looks. Eat the hell out of your factory raised cow-like meat with artificially colored, preserved, pasteurized cheese food-like product. Ask for extra sugar in your tomato based sauce. Rise it all down with more diet cola beverage, that contains traces of carcinogenic dyes. Grow your own food. Fertilized with your own shit. Die of parasites.

:mittens:

COYOTE!! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU IN THAT DAMN "SCHOOLING"  PROCESS??

You're sick. And I hope you never get well.

Oh and congrats on your grades man.
POST-SINGULARITY POCKET ORGASM TOAD OF RIGHTEOUSNESS

Anna Mae Bollocks

#17
June 14, 2012, 05:40:59 AM
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Luna

#18
June 14, 2012, 12:25:08 PM
Holy shit, the awesome in this thread...

I am giggling quietly at my desk, typing on my phone, staring at the "you're fucked, no interbutts for you" Internet Explorer screen on my work machine.  Apparently IT's ISP work last night had unexpected consequences.  And I am here an hour before those motherfuckers wake up.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

EK WAFFLR

#19
June 14, 2012, 12:32:45 PM
Awesome thread is awesome, but LMNO's link just takes me to the login page at reverbnation.  :cry:
"At first I lifted weights.  But then I asked myself, 'why not people?'  Now everyone runs for the fjord when they see me."


Horribly Oscillating Assbasket of Deliciousness
[/b]

LMNO

#20
June 14, 2012, 01:54:58 PM

EK WAFFLR

#21
June 14, 2012, 01:59:14 PM
That was fucking fantastic!
"At first I lifted weights.  But then I asked myself, 'why not people?'  Now everyone runs for the fjord when they see me."


Horribly Oscillating Assbasket of Deliciousness
[/b]

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#22
June 14, 2012, 05:14:28 PM
Listening now.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

The Good Reverend Roger

#23
June 14, 2012, 05:58:37 PM
Coyote, I realize that you feel you must cover up your shortcomings with a PANIC AT THE DISCO, but really, aren't you taking it just a little too far?  We all know about the albino love midget; your credentials as a moralist are shot, though your credentials as a Holy Man™ certainly benefited from that rather disgusting revelation.  You need less EXPLAINING and more DANGER, DANGER!  Or even BOYS, BOYS.  Nobody will listen to your case, anyway.  You are guilty.  You were BORN guilty.  I cannot help you, and I wouldn't if I could. 
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Don Coyote

#24
June 18, 2012, 08:16:19 PM
BUMPing this so it doesn't get buried before my HOLIESTM.

The Good Reverend Roger

#25
June 19, 2012, 02:03:18 PM
Quote from: Guru Quixote on June 18, 2012, 08:16:19 PM
BUMPing this so it doesn't get buried before my HOLIESTM.

Check your voice mail once in a while, you scurvy bastard.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Don Coyote

#26
June 21, 2012, 06:43:15 AM
I fuycking hate all of you.

PLEASE FUCKING SHOVE YOUR FACES INTO THE TOASTERS THAT WILL BE ARRIVING AT YOUR PLACE OF SLEEPING. CHRIST, WHAT A BUNCH OF FUCKING FUCKSTICK STACKING ARSEGARGLING BUTTHASSING FINGERNIMBLING DISCORDIANS. I HAVE SPENT TOO MUCH TIME CASUALLY GLANCING AT PD TODAY TRYING TO GIVE SOME FUCKS AND OH LOOK, THE FUCKING BOTTOM OF THE GODDAMN BAG I KEEP MY FUCKS IN HAS A FUCKING HOLE. I HAD A SINGLE FUCK LEFT, BUT THEN THE FUCKING CAT STOLE.

AND AS FOR YOU REVEREND. AS IF YOU WERE A REVEREND OF ANYTHING BUT "OH MY GOD THE TOILET IS FUCKING MELTING YOU BASTARD" MR. "I HAVE TWELVE BUILT IN COATS FOR ANYFUCKING OCCAISION SO LONG AS THEY INVOLVE GARGLING PINEX OUT OF A FUCKING BOOT THAT A CAT PISSED IN" NOW LOOK HERE. I FUCKING CHECK MY VOICEMAIL WHENEVER THE FUCK I WANT, OR WHEVER THE USGOV, THAT UNHOLY SPECTRE THAT CHEWS UP AND SHITS OUT VOTIVE CANDLES MADE OF YOUR SINS, CALLS. SO JUST FUCKING SIT YOU GOD-BE-BUGGERED SORRY FUCKING EXCUSE FOR A HINDEND THAT ISN'T EVEN FIT TO BE CALLED AN ASS, LET ALONG SIT ON ANYTHING THAT ISN'T HARDENED AGAINST NUCLEAR BLASTS, OR IS DISPOSABLE, LIKE THOSE SHITTY ASS RAZORS I KNOW YOU FUCKING USE. THAT'S RIGHT I TOLD YOU CRAM, AND NOT ANY GRAMS YOU SICK FUCKING PERVERT, A GROSS, THAT IS FUCKING UNIT OF MEASURMENT ALL YOU FUVKING BELGISTANIANS DARING TO READ THIS, OF DISPOSABLE "SAFTEY" RAZORS UP YOUR ASS. IT SHOULD RELIEVE THE FUCKING BLOCKAGES OF ALL THAT MATTED ASSHAIR AND BUTTNUGGETS. THE ONLY REASON I DON'T TELL YOU FUCKING TORCH THAT SHIT-HAIR-BALL CRAP IS BECAUSE I HAVE TO BREATH IN THE SAME QUADRANT OF THE UNIVERSE AS THE RESULTING FUMES.

The Good Reverend Roger

#27
June 21, 2012, 02:19:23 PM
Quote from: Guru Quixote on June 21, 2012, 06:43:15 AM
I fuycking hate all of you.

PLEASE FUCKING SHOVE YOUR FACES INTO THE TOASTERS THAT WILL BE ARRIVING AT YOUR PLACE OF SLEEPING. CHRIST, WHAT A BUNCH OF FUCKING FUCKSTICK STACKING ARSEGARGLING BUTTHASSING FINGERNIMBLING DISCORDIANS. I HAVE SPENT TOO MUCH TIME CASUALLY GLANCING AT PD TODAY TRYING TO GIVE SOME FUCKS AND OH LOOK, THE FUCKING BOTTOM OF THE GODDAMN BAG I KEEP MY FUCKS IN HAS A FUCKING HOLE. I HAD A SINGLE FUCK LEFT, BUT THEN THE FUCKING CAT STOLE.

AND AS FOR YOU REVEREND. AS IF YOU WERE A REVEREND OF ANYTHING BUT "OH MY GOD THE TOILET IS FUCKING MELTING YOU BASTARD" MR. "I HAVE TWELVE BUILT IN COATS FOR ANYFUCKING OCCAISION SO LONG AS THEY INVOLVE GARGLING PINEX OUT OF A FUCKING BOOT THAT A CAT PISSED IN" NOW LOOK HERE. I FUCKING CHECK MY VOICEMAIL WHENEVER THE FUCK I WANT, OR WHEVER THE USGOV, THAT UNHOLY SPECTRE THAT CHEWS UP AND SHITS OUT VOTIVE CANDLES MADE OF YOUR SINS, CALLS. SO JUST FUCKING SIT YOU GOD-BE-BUGGERED SORRY FUCKING EXCUSE FOR A HINDEND THAT ISN'T EVEN FIT TO BE CALLED AN ASS, LET ALONG SIT ON ANYTHING THAT ISN'T HARDENED AGAINST NUCLEAR BLASTS, OR IS DISPOSABLE, LIKE THOSE SHITTY ASS RAZORS I KNOW YOU FUCKING USE. THAT'S RIGHT I TOLD YOU CRAM, AND NOT ANY GRAMS YOU SICK FUCKING PERVERT, A GROSS, THAT IS FUCKING UNIT OF MEASURMENT ALL YOU FUVKING BELGISTANIANS DARING TO READ THIS, OF DISPOSABLE "SAFTEY" RAZORS UP YOUR ASS. IT SHOULD RELIEVE THE FUCKING BLOCKAGES OF ALL THAT MATTED ASSHAIR AND BUTTNUGGETS. THE ONLY REASON I DON'T TELL YOU FUCKING TORCH THAT SHIT-HAIR-BALL CRAP IS BECAUSE I HAVE TO BREATH IN THE SAME QUADRANT OF THE UNIVERSE AS THE RESULTING FUMES.

Bitch, bitch, bitch.  You think YOU have it bad?  Remember when those poor bastards tried to crucify Cthulu Jesus?  Fucking ran out of nails, didn't they?  And there's no worse day than one in which you have to deal with a HALF-crucified elder gawd when the roofies suddenly wear off.

Then there's that stupid bastard in Texas that forgot to take his contacts out before he summoned Zalgo.

As for me, well, I have an excuse.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Doktor Howl

#28
September 05, 2015, 05:14:35 AM
BUMP!
Molon Lube

Don Coyote

#29
September 05, 2015, 05:37:14 AM
OH GREAT SAVORY BHUDDADA I HAVE GREATLY SINNED AND ERRED AND VOIDED MY WARRENTIES!!!!!

AT WHAT POOINT DID I GO WRONG

WHAT THE UNHOLY OF FUCK HAPPENED TO ME?
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