Serious talk about your ass.

[East Coast Hustle]

But I just can't feel at home in a public restroom.

You've got to sit on the toilet like you OWN it:

That is some serious, motherfucking horse-stance right thar.

I believe that is what our fine upstanding members of congress refer to as "taking a wide stance".

[Forsooth]

I can appreciate public toilets, especially the high  flow/ suck you're shoe down if you aren't careful.

Sometimes, I can't be hASSled to shit at regular intervals. So many of my movements end up being larger than expected. If I take those big shits at home or friends' houses, I get ridiculed. "who just shit a cat?" Or "that's bigger than any dick I've ever seen!"

By shitting in public restrooms, I get the peace I want DESERVE AS A TAX-PAYING, GOD-FEARING 'MERICAN, and just have to deal with less standard cleanliness.

[wlfjstr]

I've always been uncomfortable dumping in less than private circumstances.  But I have done it when necessary.

On a side note, there is a wonderful discussion about a related topic in Günter Grass book, The Flounder.  He questions why we will sit around our table and discuss the food we put in ourselves, but never get together at the other end (so to speak) and discuss the same items on the way out.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Had an all day Hazmat/HAZWOPER class.

They mentioned NOTHING about my ass.  I feel ripped off, insufficiently trained.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Scratch that.  They talked about BLEVE, which is close enough.

[Freeky]

Scratch that.  They talked about BLEVE, which is close enough.

What is HAZWOPER/BLEVE?

I am praying like a motherfucker that it has nothing to do with Bieber.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Boiling Liquid Expanding Vapor Explosion.

Or

Boiling Liquid Expanding Vindaloo Explosion.  In my pance.

[Freeky]

 

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

KA BOOM 

[00.dusk]

Roger's bathroom is located in an underground shelter connected to the secret tunnels of the Moscow Metro. It's hermetically sealed behind multiple blast doors, and there's a fume hood near the toilet.

The fume hood is for when the toilet clogs. It's so highly rated as protective gear that the US military is considering covering their tanks in them.

[Telarus]

Do what we do anytime someone has an odious habit that pisses everyone off.

Tell them it violates a centuries-old superstition and threaten to keel-haul them if they persist.

[Freeky]

But I just can't feel at home in a public restroom.

You've got to sit on the toilet like you OWN it:

That is some serious, motherfucking horse-stance right thar.

I believe that is what our fine upstanding members of congress refer to as "taking a wide stance".

Okay, srsly, what is wrong with that guy's balls????  It's freaking me out.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

But I just can't feel at home in a public restroom.

You've got to sit on the toilet like you OWN it:

That is some serious, motherfucking horse-stance right thar.

I believe that is what our fine upstanding members of congress refer to as "taking a wide stance".

Okay, srsly, what is wrong with that guy's balls????  It's freaking me out.

That's the inner legs of his loose-fitting, athletic shorts, which allow for freedom of movement, circulation of air and wicking of moisture.
His balls are smushed up in a tight, sweaty jock somewhere lest they escape. 

[Luna]

But I just can't feel at home in a public restroom.

You've got to sit on the toilet like you OWN it:

That is some serious, motherfucking horse-stance right thar.

I believe that is what our fine upstanding members of congress refer to as "taking a wide stance".

Okay, srsly, what is wrong with that guy's balls????  It's freaking me out.

That's the inner legs of his loose-fitting, athletic shorts, which allow for freedom of movement, circulation of air and wicking of moisture.
His balls are smushed up in a tight, sweaty jock somewhere lest they escape. 

For which I, for one, am grateful.

Random glimpses of some guy's balls when I wasn't looking to SEE said balls? Met my quota last month, thanks.

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

Having spent a lot of my youth pooping in the woods, I have never felt bad about pooping in a public restroom. I mean, once you're crouched behind a tree with grass and weeds tickling your nether regions, a bathroom stall isn't all that challenging. I always hated pooping while fishing though, especially if I'd recently taken a fish off the hook. Wiping your ass with hands that smell like bass is just weird.