Dear Roger,

[DJRubberducky]

Can you recommend any non-governmental fields of training or study that would help me deprogram the part of my brain that feels compassion?

In this last election, I voted (knowing full well my state would swing to the other candidate) because I couldn't make myself want to do anything more drastic.  But in these last few days, I've been fantasizing about things like sneaking into places like City Council chambers and Baptist churches to plant remotely-detonated explosives.  And the election results have made me wonder if maybe it's time to do something a little more dramatic than voting to get my points across.

But right now, my brain won't let me.  I keep thinking it'd be really cool and dramatic to blow up City Council right as they're about to vote in some new statute further restricting the sexually-oriented businesses around here, but then I worry about the people who might be there to make arguments against it.  And this hangs me up entirely, because I haven't figured out how to not worry about those people - how to simply write them off as collateral damage / unwitting martyrs.

I know the military is pretty good at training killers, but I'd be afraid that they'd *reprogram* my brain instead of *deprogram* it.  Any other ideas?  Ninjitsu, maybe?

TIA,
DJRubberducky

P.S.  If I am successful in this endeavor, I'll be sure to post the videos when I get close enough to Rick Santorum to drop roofies in his drink and then drag him to a S&M dungeon where he would then be repeatedly sodomized by women wearing strap-on dildoes (which is still perfectly okay because it's between a man and a woman, right?).

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Dear Rubberducky,

You could join the Young Republicans.

They will help you with that whole "compassion" thing.

As for tossing bombs, etc, you have just violated rule#1, and you will receive no help from me, Gitmo-bait.

[East Coast Hustle]

if you hate Rick Santorum, you need to check out www.spreadingsantorum.com

[fluffy]

lay down and take a nap
this too shall pass
and then start reading up on pie technique
don't make them matyrs
make them clowns

[DJRubberducky]

/me hops over to eBay to look for seltzer-water dispensers.

BTW, thanks, Fluffy.  I think my bomb fetish is because I'd really like for my apartment to burn down in a freak accident shortly before I move, so I don't actually have to move anything.  But clowning is more naturally up my alley.  I'm actually starting to have flashbacks to that "Pie-Man" episode of the Simpsons.  (Or did I just dream that one?)

[Bob the Mediocre]

It wasn't a dream.
I'd like to force Santorum through a fake gay marrage, just to mess with him.

[Horab Fibslager]

staudy the history of humanwarfare as a student of strategy, of politics, of economics, but least of all as a student of teh betterment of man, and most of all as a student of the devil.

although i am compassionate, i occasionally get in a neitczhe(or however you sdpell taht) mood.

good and evil?

if it is necessarry i will slice through my freind to strike at my foe.

tho it's not usually that necessary. tactics and strategy remember.

[agent compassion]

Bush keeps saying he has a "mandate" which sounds kinda gay to me...you know, man date.

Someone oughta point that out to him.

[DJRubberducky]

It wasn't a dream.
I'd like to force Santorum through a fake gay marrage, just to mess with him.

I think seeing him marry an intersexed individual would be quite the grand show.  And if he's really as moral as he seems to think he is, it'd actually be very feasible.  "Oh, honey, you know I don't believe in fooling around until we're married!".

Oh, another part of my original idea was going to be that me and my husband and two of my best friends would be naked except for masks, and one of us would give some little speech about how he seemed to care so much about what consenting adults did in the privacy of our own bedrooms, we figured he'd enjoy watching while we did it.

Upon further reflection, it's a shame that neither of the guys would likely be into actually shagging Santorum (even with a PPA), because it'd be really nice & twisted to have him get assraped while watching me make out with the other woman.

[Bob the Mediocre]

Upon further reflection, it's a shame that neither of the guys would likely be into actually shagging Santorum (even with a PPA), because it'd be really nice & twisted to have him get assraped while watching me make out with the other woman.

I wouldn't go that far. I'd just love the look of shock when he realizes he didn't marry a woman.

[Delusion]

Bush keeps saying he has a "mandate" which sounds kinda gay to me...you know, man date.

Someone oughta point that out to him.

He DOES have a Mandate.  Ashcroft gave it to him as an example of "Filth" just before retiring.  It had a semen stain on it.

Bush put off reading it until one of his secret service men kindly explained to him that he was reasonably certain that it had pictures.


He then went looking, but has not been able to find it, for it is now in the secret pocket under Jenna's lingerie drawer.