Daily Discordia

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Nigel, I fear that I have alienated our new user, Falafel or whatever her name is.

I was on my best behavior, even.   

[Luna]

Kinda pathetic, how much heel-digging, shit-flinging, and screeching is going on when a simple, "yeah, in retrospect, it wasn't really funny, it was kind of the laughing at the funeral kind of laughing, not "hee-hee, some kid got a shock' kind of funny" right off the bat would have saved a shitload of stern damage.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Kinda pathetic, how much heel-digging, shit-flinging, and screeching is going on when a simple, "yeah, in retrospect, it wasn't really funny, it was kind of the laughing at the funeral kind of laughing, not "hee-hee, some kid got a shock' kind of funny" right off the bat would have saved a shitload of stern damage.

She just got here.  We can't expect her to stand upright in her first week.  Hell, I'm still kinda stooped over.

FC,
Knuckles dragging.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

Your grandmother knows people fuck.

As previously mentioned, I was in high school at the time. My worry was not that I would sully my grandmother's naive innocence, but rather that I would get into trouble.

Better for her to jump YOUR shit about fucking in her house than to shock some kid.

It was never my intention to shock a kid, or to shock anyone for that matter. I did NOT go out of my way to ensure that anyone would find our trash, nor did I ever confirm that anyone found it after all. In my post, I mentioned that we thought the egg would remain undiscovered in the ditch where we discarded it. Neither of us had any way of knowing that somebody would set up an egg hunt there, as ditches are not typically ideal for that sort of thing. We had driven by that trailer park many times and never seen any children playing there.

If my kids were little and they found an egg with a fucking used condom in it, I'd assume since it was in a plastic easter egg, some pervert put it there for them to find and I'd make a police report. Cops LOVE catching pedos, it's a pretty substantial felony catch and I'm sure they'd check for prints as well as running the DNA.

How intimidating. I would love to see someone try to report me to the cops as a "pedophile." (Btw, check your semantics. You seem to be confusing "pedophile" with "predator." Being a pedophile is actually not illegal.) Neither my DNA nor my prints would be in their system, as I have no criminal record whatsoever (despite the seemingly pervasive belief on this forum that I'm a sociopathic child molester). Not to mention the undeniable fact that I don't even remotely fit the profile of a sex offender. Throwing a condom into a ditch where two weeks later it happens to be accidentally found by someone is not a felony. My only "crime" would be littering, which is a misdemeanor charge at worst. The cops would be pissed off at you for wasting their time.

As for people's reaction to my Erister Egg Hunt story, I don't even know where to begin. I think in order to demonstrate the absurdity of the ire directed my way, I will respond to a forum member in the same harsh, insulting tone with which he responded to me -- using his own quotes in my reply.

Fidel Castro:

What the fuck is wrong with you? Seriously, why would you choose a username like that? Fidel Castro was a corrupt communist dictator who routinely deprived innocent Cuban citizens of their most basic human rights. Is that a fucking joke to you? It is extremely tactless and disrespectful to all the people who suffered under Castro's repressive regime for you to post on this forum using his name, making light of their struggles. But then again, Cuba is an impoverished country compared to the United States, and their standard of living is pretty low. After all, poor people don't really count as people. It's okay for their governments to do horribly inappropriate things to their them, because they're just animals and shit.

You describe yourself as a "GRAMMAR NAZI."

Wow, I guess it's cool now to make light of Nazism and the Holocaust, too. You clearly have no empathy for the widespread suffering of others, to joke around about serious issues like that. I'd say that makes you a sociopath at best.

"Platonic Dildo Sharpener?" "One-Armed Jizz Moppers?"

That's actually kinda squicky. Does thinking about somebody mopping up ejaculate provide you with some kind of cheap thrill? How utterly disgusting. You're fucked up in the head. And having a missing limb is not something to fucking joke about either.

This forum reeks to high heaven of hypocrisy.

For example, the phrase "think for yourself" is overused to the point of redundancy, yet members will boorishly attack anyone whose views seem to differ from their own. In my first post (which was pretty concise, to avoid tl;dr), I mentioned following the Law of Fives. Instead of asking me to expand on what I meant by that, someone instead felt the need to inform my poor, unenlightened self that it was a parody demonstrating confirmation bias -- which I, of course, already knew. (One could hardly read the Principia Discordia and not realize how much of it is satirical.) The same individual also told me that meditating on symbols has the same effect as "praying to a stop sign" -- once again, without requesting or awaiting clarification of my statement, as if I might actually believe that symbols are magical and can answer my prayers. The person who jumped to such conclusions was obviously wrong, but what if he hadn't been? What if I did believe in the Law of Fives and magical symbols? Is it his, or anyone else's, prerogative to deem me a false Discordian on that basis?

The people here strike me as a bunch of spags who are pissed off at the world, who misunderstand simple statements, who jump to preposterous conclusions, who fly off the handle at the most inconsequential things, and who scream "THINK FOR YOURSELF!" at the top of their lungs while harshly denigrating those who disagree with them. If your aim is to generate growth within the Discordian community, this is a counterproductive strategy. However, if this is the impression you wish to convey, then by all means carry on.

I don't think you're ready for the roughneck bass.

[Don Coyote]

And now my head is infected.

[Dildo Argentino]

Chemistry understands just fine how water molecules work.  They are not fucking magic, and they do not retain a "memory".  Your statement is just as nonsensical as me saying "Physics can't say I can't defy gravity under my own power, it can only admit it was wrong if I can."

But that's not nonsensical at all. That's the price we pay for the wonders of science: replacing world-views (religions, received wisdom) whose fundamental attitude is "if we don't have an explanation for it, it doesn't exist" with one that says "if it exists, and we don't have an explanation for it, we need to try harder" results in there being no fixed canon. Who would have thought that Newtonian mechanics would be falsified? And yet it was downgraded from the status of laws of nature to an approximation that works rather well at non-relativistic speeds.

So it's not that homeopathy doesn't work, it's that the tests were unfair.   

Why do you insist on being this obstinate? It's this: tests were unscientific (the hypothesis they tested, in very many cases, was not the one they claimed to disprove), so right now it is unclear whether homeopathy works or not.

And if you can't do a double blind test, then your idea is absolute crap.  End of story.

That's fetishism. I refer you to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Randomized_controlled_trial#Disadvantages.

I'll fix that.

Job almost done, actually. Though it does appear to be a race.

Prediction:  Holist loses interest in this thread at this point.

Not yet. But I do have some work to do for the next six hours or so.

The original meaning of "holistic" (which lasted about 3 seconds) was to treat an illness by both attacking the illness itself, while ensuring the best possible conditions for the patient to recover in...Ie, proper diet, proper rest, proper exercise (if possible), proper and attentive medical care.

No, while I think what you are describing is good practice, I think, in terms of medicine, 'holistic' is primarily to do with the realisation that isolated treatment of illnesses (the departmentalisation of medicine and hospitals) is in a great proportion of cases counter-productive (assuming achievement of health is the only main objective, which, of course, it rarely is), because the functional parts of the human organism (living organisms in general) are so intricately and deeply interconnected, that concentrating on one part, organ, subsystem thereof may well miss the underlying cause and also, while curing a superficially defined symptom, may cause others (which may appear, again, superficially, to be entirely unrelated).

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

And now my head is infected.

That was the wrong link, I was sending it to a scam artist, see. Is fixed now.

Sorry to cause collateral damage.

[Dildo Argentino]

Why the hell would I remember it? I didn't remember that thread until you referenced it... for that matter, I barely remembered you. 

Because you said, before you asked for a link,that you re-read that thread?

For the record, Roger and I have a running joke about his ability to judge character compared to mine. Not that you should be expected to know that, but that doesn't absolve you from being a complete and utter ass when you say that I'm "easily led" by the people that I "defer to", as if I have masters I look to for leadership.

Not masters, simply people whose opinions you value beyond their worth.

You've said things here in the past that make you look bad, ranging from ridiculous to loathesome. I've pointed out those things and challenged them, and obviously you're packing a grudge for that. Join the club; maybe they'll give you a nametag.

"For the record" (lol), I think that's an entirely inaccurate, though clearly sufficiently self-serving appraisal of the story so far...

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Okay, I'm writing Holist off as a hopeless woo case now.  And a bit of a shitbag at that.

[Dildo Argentino]

Okay, I'm writing Holist off as a hopeless woo case now.  And a bit of a shitbag at that.

Lost for words?

I know how that feels.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Why the hell would I remember it? I didn't remember that thread until you referenced it... for that matter, I barely remembered you. 

Because you said, before you asked for a link,that you re-read that thread?

You mentioned it by name. All I had to do was go to your posting history to find it. Derp.

[Dildo Argentino]

Why the hell would I remember it? I didn't remember that thread until you referenced it... for that matter, I barely remembered you. 

Because you said, before you asked for a link,that you re-read that thread?

You mentioned it by name. All I had to do was go to your posting history to find it. Derp.

Fair enough, but then you went and read it, you said.

[EK WAFFLR]

Okay, I'm writing Holist off as a hopeless woo case now.  And a bit of a shitbag at that.

A bit of a shitbag must be the understatement of the year.

I nominate assholist biggest douche of the universe 2012.

[LMNO]

Sorry, Paul Ryan's got that one covered.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Why the hell would I remember it? I didn't remember that thread until you referenced it... for that matter, I barely remembered you. 

Because you said, before you asked for a link,that you re-read that thread?

You mentioned it by name. All I had to do was go to your posting history to find it. Derp.

Fair enough, but then you went and read it, you said.

Yes. I did. You mentioned it by name, so rather than waiting for you to provide a link, I realized that I could just go to your profile and look for the last time you posted in a thread by that name. Then I clicked on the thread and read it. Later, Texas Fairies asked for a link, so I gave her one but also mentioned that there are other amusing posts and she could go to your profile to track them down.

I am not sure why this has you so stymied.