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And so....here it is.

Started by The Dark Monk, June 24, 2012, 10:51:18 AM

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The Dark Monk

I apologize for the long wait ^.^ my life has been quite busy these last couple of years. I have been contemplating where to start at, and I finally decided to start at where my life left off when this site became no longer available to me through certain life choices and challenges.
I also realize it may seem odd that for over two years I was a non-presence on this site in regards to posting, but I have popped in from time to time to see how everyone was doing, making sure everyone was safe and for the most part happy. I care for everyone on here in an almost familial sense, which is why, as you will see, I have decided to go in to detail and share my journeys about who I was then and who I am now.
I have not written in almost all the the time I have been absent, so please bear with grammatical errors, I know it bugs some of us, including myself, but if you don't use it you lose it :P

I will start back in late 2008 to early 2009. I had trekked by foot from Grand Terrace to Lake Elsinore having been thrown out by my father due to us finding each other unbearable. For months on end not a word was spoken between us, a comforting silence I imagine on both of our parts for it seemed every word spoken by either one of us caused each other anger. What was odd was we don't find each other bad people in any sense, though I believe a lot of it is due to the fact I am not an ultra conservative fighting against the rights of human beings to make their own choices of who they sleep with and how they live their lives, how I do not hunt so I am not a man, and that "Our Lord God" is not a part of my daily life. I was tired of being seen as lazy and arrogant as I was also constantly badgered about having a job which I, also by foot, looked for every day since my car was destroyed by my cousin (who wished for driving lessons, I obliged, and he decided it was a good idea to drift a civic on a winding dirt road at midnight next to a 300 foot cliff drop). Any of you who have known me in the past have heard this story so I will leave that as is, but feel free to ask about it when I am around if you wish.

So I made my trek to Lake Elsinore where my cousin lived with a backpack full of edibles and a butchered camel-pak. All in all it wasn't so bad. I make a habit of taking walks every day so I got a good amount in, about 8 hours or so with breaks in between, and hitched a ride once for a good 30 minutes on the back of a truck who stopped at a McDonalds where I stocked back up on supplies :P

I made it to Elsinore after a few days, first stopping in to a friends house because it was closer and well, he had some good legal smoke there due to the ease of California's "I am depressed sometimes, can I have a medical card?" law. We chilled, smoked, drank beer, then I headed to my cousin's place. He lived with my Aunt CH (crackhead in it's truest sense) but most of the time she could be avoided should she not need to be physically restrained as she thinks bugs are under her skin and she takes a razor to herself from time to time.
It occurred to me that you may be thinking "TDM, why go to a place like that? She's obviously nuts and dangerous!"
My cousins were the reason. At the time we were closer than brothers could ever be, I'll call him JB. We did everything together, and before he moved we saw each other every weekend. He has a complete lack of sense and foresight however, and this needs to be known for later parts of the story. I had two more cousins there, Big Sis and Little Guy. Big Sis tries to be tough in front of her black friends (This also needs explanation as well, it occurred to me. Each one of my cousins has a different father thanks to Aunt CH needing a fix, and she is half black, so she acts differently to her white relatives and friends) but she is smart as hell, beautiful, and very sweet. She lived with Aunt CH for about 3/4 of her life, living with my grandparents before that. Aunt CH was a fugitive at the time, running around the country avoiding police until they stopped caring, which does happen. JB started living with her after the cops gave up on my aunt and she moved back to California and made herself a presence in his life once more. Little Guy was born while she was on the run and was a shock to me, 12 years old and I never knew he existed. He was your typical 12 year old, wanted to be like every one else, followed you around everywhere until you wanted to swat him away.

Break time, more reminiscing and memories to follow soon.
I thought this is all there is,
but now I know you are so much more.
I want to upgrade from my simple eight bits,
but will you still love me when I'm sixty-four?
~MIAB~

The Dark Monk

And so, I spent time with them, walking everywhere, going to underground shows. JB, myself and friends hanging out 24/7, figuring out ways to get money fencing things. I designed patches and clothing to sell at shows, got to know the bands, crashed at random houses based on kindness of people or ones that simply didn't care. It was a good time, until things got unbearable when my aunt took things way too far one night, and I left back up to Grand Terrace, where I stayed again for a while. Met a girl in the apartment complex in the Terrace, had a relationship til that too went sour as most do, then moved yet again to Hesperia with my father. He purchased a house and we kept to ourselves on opposite sides when I was there. When I wasn't there I was with my brother in an old trailer in Victorville.

QUICK SCRIPT OF AREA: For those of you who haven't been in these areas, it's a largely barren desert with a town plopped in the middle, mostly run down areas where it connects to Apple Valley and on the outskirts with malls and the like built in the center. On the outskirts the only plant life that exists are greasewoods, bullthorns and various cacti. During the summer it would easily reach 105-110 F and in the winter go to or below 0 with wind that pierces your bones. Extremes of both sides with pleasant falls and springs.

I eventually made it back to Elsinore to stay with a friend for a while, since yet again my home life became unbearable, who gave me a job working with his relatives on a rich retirement golf course in Laguna Beach. There I worked for about 6 months, cramming into a BMW with my buddies' stepdad, an old biker who had his own share of mistakes in his past but one who had learned and become wise. We drove from Elsinore to Laguna every day crammed in that tiny BMW but it was cool. A sense of productivity and closeness with everyone around me was fulfilling. Things between myself and the friend I was staying with went sour eventually as well however. He got jealous that I spent a lot of my time talking bikes with his stepdad, and so I left for about 3 weeks when I was invited back to work with his stepdad on another remodeling contract, which I have a knack for painting due to attention to detail and a perfectionist attitude when it comes to my work. I stayed with him for the remaining two months, and with a steady paycheck didn't have to bum anywhere which was an odd feeling, considering through the time before that, even staying with his stepson, I scrounged to pay for everything and keep food and medical bills paid off.

(The medicals bills came when my skin peeled off my feet due to constantly wearing boots and not having a consistently available washer)

The people I worked for were actually my now not friends grandparents and we got along well, they are rich older people living in Laguna Beach crazed with cats, which suits me myself as there is never a time I don't have one when my life is stable. They were impressed with my work and my craftwork on patches and clothing, and allowed me to stay with them as I worked on their house repainting the rooms, building decks, taking care of their cats, cooking and cleaning. They had an old laptop I was allowed to use in which I popped on here from time to time. I would take it to their second story deck and watch the fog roll over the islands and the beach, drinking black cherry Mike's.
Through the internet I met a woman who I talked to every day, calling from a pre-paid or texting when my work was done on messengers and the like. We talked and we talked, no feeling of boredom or frustration, always interesting and intelligent. She lives in Alabama, where a series of tornadoes had struck and needed housework. She has family out in California and eventually told me of a road trip to see them, as her two kids had never been to Cali. We talked all the way on her drive here, when she was visiting her relatives then she asked me a question, "Can you come help fix my house?"
Mind you I am no stranger to multiple locations, but Alabama is a long way away to go even for me, but I thought about it and said yes.

We arrived in Alabama, chatting away the whole time with nervousness on both sides. It was a delightfully impulsive decision, and we both knew that neither would cause any harm, but after so long of talking via phone and internet  then actually meeting was so exciting it caused us both to think about our words so carefully we had huge gaps in between conversations.

More to come soon ^.^ Pizza time.
I thought this is all there is,
but now I know you are so much more.
I want to upgrade from my simple eight bits,
but will you still love me when I'm sixty-four?
~MIAB~

Richter

Glad you're back.  Pretty heavy stuff, still going through it.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 22, 2015, 03:00:53 AM
Anyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?   :lulz:

Friendly Neighborhood Mentat

Kai

Holy cow, blast from the past.
If there is magic on this planet, it is contained in water. --Loren Eisley, The Immense Journey

Her Royal Majesty's Chief of Insect Genitalia Dissection
Grand Visser of the Six Legged Class
Chanticleer of the Holometabola Clade Church, Diptera Parish

The Dark Monk

Well I remember Cain telling me long ago "Once you're here you never truly leave" I think he spoke words of wisdom that day...
I thought this is all there is,
but now I know you are so much more.
I want to upgrade from my simple eight bits,
but will you still love me when I'm sixty-four?
~MIAB~

Murmur

Quote from: The Dark Monk on June 24, 2012, 08:58:40 PM
Well I remember Cain telling me long ago "Once you're here you never truly leave" I think he spoke words of wisdom that day...

Glad to see you back!  :eek:
Tolerable Terror for Toddlers Legionaire, Nixon Division™

"Onlookers will be horrified and amazed by the sheer volume of fluid."--TGRR

"SaraLee, I say unto you!  If ye have a cake and halve it, and then halve it yet again, you would have four quarters and yet still not have a dollar.  Eat of that cake, for it is cake which is NOT cake, which ye may have half a mind to have at a reasonable price, yet in indecision achieve satori with said stale Moon Pie.  That's what you get when YOU FUCK WITH US." - DOUR

Lenin McCarthy

To paraphrase the great Norwegian author Knut Hamsun: PD – that strange forum no one escapes from until it has left its mark on him!

Welcome back! Reading stories like yours is very interesting for me, who has spent my entire life so far in a safe middle class bubble and most of the problems I've encountered have been trivial compared to what others go through.


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Glad you're back, TDM! This is shaping up to be quite a story.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


The Dark Monk

Sorry for the hiatus, long ass couple of days, now where was I? Ah yes....

I must say I did skip a portion in between so forgive me, this one is to be interjected between the first two posts, or maybe in the middle of both of them. I realized I did a mental block on it for a reason you will know shortly. It's not something I talk about very much but for truth of story, lack of gapping and a healthy disposition of dealing with said situation, here it is.

While I was at Aunt CH's house which helped push the feeling of a wanting to wander even further from town to town, a feeling of wishing existence was better, that things can be better, that distance truly the key which has proven true in my life now, JB had gotten in trouble with the police as his mother had threatened to kill him on more than one occasion and he had gone to the police who simply do nothing, as police do unless they're punishing someone trying to defend themselves. He left, he was 17 at the time and I hid him for about 3 months, bringing him food, clothes, and other things while he hopped between friends houses who refused to tell his mother where he was at. The life there became unbearable for us both but I stayed to watch out for him, and at that time too his mother had went to the police and called in a run away, where they had done no sort of investigation of why he did, and he was at the end of about 3 months caught after he thought it would be a good idea to break into his high school's gym to sleep between friend's house migration. He went to juvie, and I left for my moms. He got out and a couple months later, Little Guy was dead. He complained of a headache, and aunt CH decided to give him vicodin and somas. He foamed and bled out and died. My family came, cleaned it up, and set up the funeral, where my Aunt proceeded to make a scene, a hollow cry with a lack of care or feeling, and so I left to Victorville.

More later.

I thought this is all there is,
but now I know you are so much more.
I want to upgrade from my simple eight bits,
but will you still love me when I'm sixty-four?
~MIAB~

The Dark Monk

Aaaaaand for the finishing touches :)

We arrived in Alabama where I worked on her house, we talked day in day out, at night watching horror movies and myself cooking for her, staying up days on end wrapped in each others arms. Ripping up floor with someone you realize you love is quite an experience, even if it seems like it would be trivial in comparison to the rest of the story :P
One night through 2 bottles of Cuervo and Morgan's Long Island Iced Tea, we drunkenly consummated with myself wearing a Trojan, her on spermicide, diaphragm, and having ovarian cysts that in her previous marriage caused her fertility treatments to have children, I trusted too much in mighty Sparta, and the Trojan Horse snuck past the gates. Though I had the mindset of 'Well we have 3 other forms of birth control I'm safe" until my woman and I went on a date into Huntsville where the one of the only traces of a real city and culture outside of John Deere and Bud Light reside, she kept pulling me through the baby aisles taunting me, and in my paranoia I bought her a pregnancy test. She was like, "Really?" I asked her please to use it just to make me feel better. Lo and behold, she was pregnant, and here is the result: Illyria Scarlet
I thought this is all there is,
but now I know you are so much more.
I want to upgrade from my simple eight bits,
but will you still love me when I'm sixty-four?
~MIAB~

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Awwww! What a beautiful baby!
Congratulations, TDM... it seems like you done come out the other side growed-up.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


The Dark Monk

I apologize for what it seems to be a rushed story at the end, been busy here at the house :)
I still think sometimes I have more time than I actually do lolz
And thank you, she is my world. Joss Whedon fans might get her first name, and what the world knows me as explains her middle. Gamerspags will have an easy insight to that  ^.^
I thought this is all there is,
but now I know you are so much more.
I want to upgrade from my simple eight bits,
but will you still love me when I'm sixty-four?
~MIAB~

ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞

I don't remember you very well, but after reading your story I have a strong impression that you're a standout dude.

Welcome back and shit.
P E R   A S P E R A   A D   A S T R A

Reginald Ret

It sounds like you have a good life, i'm glad to hear it :D
Congratulations on everything.
Lord Byron: "Those who will not reason, are bigots, those who cannot, are fools, and those who dare not, are slaves."

Nigel saying the wisest words ever uttered: "It's just a suffix."

"The worst forum ever" "The most mediocre forum on the internet" "The dumbest forum on the internet" "The most retarded forum on the internet" "The lamest forum on the internet" "The coolest forum on the internet"

The Dark Monk

Appreciate it net :) and thanks :regret: :) All this teaches is that life can have some crazy stuff!
I thought this is all there is,
but now I know you are so much more.
I want to upgrade from my simple eight bits,
but will you still love me when I'm sixty-four?
~MIAB~