Author Topic: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)  (Read 16377 times)

Faust

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Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Reply #240 on: February 11, 2019, 11:27:36 am »
There is always more to learn about a database in this tutorial we will delve down into

1) Query structure
2) How to normalise tables
3) How does an index work
4) How an index ACTUALLY works
5) Execution plans, and caching (why repeating the same thing over and over again is not a sign of madness but a mistrust of a world built on shifting sands)
6) How Azethoth is at the heart of any SQL installation, and his role in making it work
May you find your worth in the waking world

nullified

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Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Reply #241 on: February 11, 2019, 12:01:33 pm »
I know just enough about databases to avoid them if I can by any means manage it.

Doktor Howl

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Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Reply #242 on: February 14, 2019, 01:46:13 am »
Today at work:

Billy:  "You got rear-ended twice today?"

Me:  "Yep.  Both times by an engineer in a Nissan.  Once in my car, once in a work truck."

Vinnie:  "God's out to get you, dude."

Me:  "God needs more gun."

Vinnie:  "..."

Me:  "What?  If he was serious, he'd send someone in an F150."

Billy:  "So God is just yanking your chain?"

Me:  "God is out to get *anyone* that figures out how derivatives work.  It's like learning Enochian.  You know too much, you gotta go."

Vinnie:  "So why Nissans and not the F150?"

Me:  "There's loads of people ahead of me in line, dude.  I'm a small fish.  I know a guy in Boston, God's been after his ass for YEARS."

Vinnie:  "Yeah, so why's he still alive?"

Me:  "You ever try to drive an F150 in Boston?  Can't be done."

Billy:  "That bad?"

Me:  "Yeah, God's stuck in bumper to bumper South of the common, this dude is getting weird all over people in the subway.  I could tell you stories.'

Billy:  "Okay, let's hear it."

Me:  "Nope.  For all I know, he owns an F150."

Vinnie:  "So this is what we do all day?  Talk smack about God?"

Me:  "Nope.  That is for lofty management types such as Billy and me.  You get crunching numbers.  That reserve study ain't gonna write itself."

Vinnie:  "But I don't know how to..."

Billy:  "Hush, dude, it's management time."

Roger, you are a dirty pirate hooker, and I will slap you in your whore mouth.

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Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Reply #243 on: February 14, 2019, 12:59:29 pm »

disco accordion

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Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Reply #244 on: February 15, 2019, 03:54:30 am »
The Billy Chronicles would make a great cartoon or something!

Doktor Howl

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Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Reply #245 on: February 15, 2019, 04:03:32 am »
The Billy Chronicles would make a great cartoon or something!

Comic writers all starve to death, so no.
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Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Reply #246 on: February 15, 2019, 04:20:59 am »
I meant animation. I call animation cartoons. However, It would make a cool comic book too since you mention it!
Even a puppet show if it was done right. Funny stuff!