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i mean, pardon my english but this, the life i'm living is ww1 trench warfare.

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A thought on sluts

Started by Mesozoic Mister Nigel, July 17, 2012, 04:29:13 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Waffles, The Iron on July 19, 2012, 02:23:47 AM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on July 19, 2012, 12:02:46 AM
Quote from: The Dead Reverend Roger on July 18, 2012, 06:10:07 PM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on July 18, 2012, 05:41:21 PM
ETA: I should probably clarify, her behavior is fucked up because it's malicious, not because it's sexual.

This.  "Manipulative jackass" is a better, more accurate term.

Yep.

The most interesting part is that the people she is including in her accusation of slut-shaming her, including myself, are some of the most sex-positive and sexually promiscuous people we know. We just, y'know, try to be RESPONSIBLE WITH OTHER PEOPLE'S FEELINGS while we're fucking whoever we want to fuck, who mutually wants to fuck us.

I do not care for the word "slut" as a pejorative in any sense. Much as you stated earlier, re-defining it to mean "a bad person" is much the same as redefining "nigger" to mean "a low person", and I am, both in the case of the former and in the case of the latter, in favor of reclaiming those words like the queer community has reclaimed "queer".

Among the few people I hold a grudge against are those who have used either the word or the concept of "slut" against me pejoratively. In my opinion, if you hold such a view of women that you will hold their exercise of sexuality against them as an excuse for dismissing them as equal and valid human beings, then you are not a full person and are not worth even a small fraction of my respect, until/unless you can develop enough awareness to realize that you were wrong, and make an appropriate apology.

The book I linked to earlier in the thread is trying to do just that, reclaim the word "slut" as a positive term for, as an example, non- monogamous people of any gender.

Well, isn't THAT special?  Live according to the author's personal values or you're a slut.

:lulz:
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Anna Mae Bollocks

Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on July 19, 2012, 01:38:24 AM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on July 19, 2012, 12:31:13 AM
The ONE valid reason I can think of to hold off on sex is because sex activates bonding hormones, and makes it more likely that you'll end up falling in love with a person who is bad for you.

Which is also an argument for maintaining a few steady lovers until you find one you know is right to make a long-term partnership with, so that you're not deprived of sex and intimacy, are less likely to make a bad choice, and have the comfort and support of another lover if someone you had high hopes for goes south.

I agree with both of these.

Stella, the "Hey, hey" in my situational thingy could be the place where you get to know someone.  Or not.

I hate hate hate not knowing where I stand.  Hate hate hate.  I can't go on long enough about how much being jerked about emotionally pisses me off, especially since I don't do that to other people.  I'm awkward at being up front with what I want and need as it is, I don't need another layer to deal with stupid sex games. :x

Jerking people around is flat WRONG, I agree.

But there's something attractive about a man who keeps you wondering, at least at first. A lot of my callers are in this position, and it makes them obsess. They drop five bucks a minute asking me what he's thinking, how he feels, is he going to call again?

Guys who are just ALWAYS RIGHT THERE FROM THE BEGINNING tend to be treated like girlfriends by women. Women confide in them. They lean on them. And then they go fuck somebody else. A little indifference is a motivator.

That's what I mean by a game. I don't know why it's like that, but I see it over and over.
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Freeky

Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on July 19, 2012, 03:29:08 AM
But there's something attractive about a man who keeps you wondering, at least at first.

To you.

Quote
Guys who are just ALWAYS RIGHT THERE FROM THE BEGINNING tend to be treated like girlfriends by women. Women confide in them. They lean on them. And then they go fuck somebody else. A little indifference is a motivator.

For you.

Neither of these is the case for me, and while I will agree to disagree that this is a matter of taste, I refuse point blank that your generalization is correct.

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on July 19, 2012, 03:29:08 AM


Guys who are just ALWAYS RIGHT THERE FROM THE BEGINNING tend to be treated like girlfriends by women. Women confide in them. They lean on them. And then they go fuck somebody else. A little indifference is a motivator.


I'm gonna have to go with Nigel's interpretation of that phenomenon, because I know more than a couple of people who were friends before they got together.

The "friend" is usually someone who thinks that paying attention, etc, is all that should be required for the other person to "come to their senses".

In reality, while people like being adored, they mostly want to adore the person they adore.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Anna Mae Bollocks

Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on July 19, 2012, 03:39:02 AM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on July 19, 2012, 03:29:08 AM
But there's something attractive about a man who keeps you wondering, at least at first.

To you.

Quote
Guys who are just ALWAYS RIGHT THERE FROM THE BEGINNING tend to be treated like girlfriends by women. Women confide in them. They lean on them. And then they go fuck somebody else. A little indifference is a motivator.

For you.

Neither of these is the case for me, and while I will agree to disagree that this is a matter of taste, I refuse point blank that your generalization is correct.

Me and about a gazillion others.

You're different, Freeky. And whoever had the chance to snag you and didn't is a fucking retard.
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Freeky

Quote from: The Dead Reverend Roger on July 19, 2012, 03:43:00 AM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on July 19, 2012, 03:29:08 AM


Guys who are just ALWAYS RIGHT THERE FROM THE BEGINNING tend to be treated like girlfriends by women. Women confide in them. They lean on them. And then they go fuck somebody else. A little indifference is a motivator.


I'm gonna have to go with Nigel's interpretation of that phenomenon, because I know more than a couple of people who were friends before they got together.

The "friend" is usually someone who thinks that paying attention, etc, is all that should be required for the other person to "come to their senses".

In reality, while people like being adored, they mostly want to adore the person they adore.

Precisely!

I have never understood the whole "To close to love you that way" deal.  Forgive me for saying so, but it's retarded.  I adore and love many of my friends, and I would have no problem attaching romantic adoration onto that.  Seems like it would be simpler, anyway.

Anna Mae Bollocks

Quote from: The Dead Reverend Roger on July 19, 2012, 03:43:00 AM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on July 19, 2012, 03:29:08 AM


Guys who are just ALWAYS RIGHT THERE FROM THE BEGINNING tend to be treated like girlfriends by women. Women confide in them. They lean on them. And then they go fuck somebody else. A little indifference is a motivator.


I'm gonna have to go with Nigel's interpretation of that phenomenon, because I know more than a couple of people who were friends before they got together.

The "friend" is usually someone who thinks that paying attention, etc, is all that should be required for the other person to "come to their senses".

In reality, while people like being adored, they mostly want to adore the person they adore.

Yeah. Impractical as fuck, but there it is.
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Eater of Clowns

Slut does have one practical application, as a word.

Between consenting adults as part of a healthy regime of dirty talk! 
Quote from: Pippa Twiddleton on December 22, 2012, 01:06:36 AM
EoC, you are the bane of my existence.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 07, 2014, 01:18:23 AM
EoC doesn't make creepy.

EoC makes creepy worse.

Quote
the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

Anna Mae Bollocks

Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on July 19, 2012, 03:46:54 AM
Quote from: The Dead Reverend Roger on July 19, 2012, 03:43:00 AM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on July 19, 2012, 03:29:08 AM


Guys who are just ALWAYS RIGHT THERE FROM THE BEGINNING tend to be treated like girlfriends by women. Women confide in them. They lean on them. And then they go fuck somebody else. A little indifference is a motivator.


I'm gonna have to go with Nigel's interpretation of that phenomenon, because I know more than a couple of people who were friends before they got together.

The "friend" is usually someone who thinks that paying attention, etc, is all that should be required for the other person to "come to their senses".

In reality, while people like being adored, they mostly want to adore the person they adore.

Precisely!

I have never understood the whole "To close to love you that way" deal.  Forgive me for saying so, but it's retarded.  I adore and love many of my friends, and I would have no problem attaching romantic adoration onto that.  Seems like it would be simpler, anyway.

I can see "not wanting to fuck up the friendship". People TRIP over sex. They expect ALL KINDS of shit, they don't see the PERSON anymore.

Your friend could turn into an ex. And "THE EX" is something like "THE WICKED STEPMOTHER".  :lol:

So I totally get that fear. But I wouldn't bang anybody I didn't consider a friend. And I've always accepted them totally as is.

This usually gets me "fuckbuddy" though.

Hey, never said I had ANSWERS.  :lol:
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Freeky

Quote from: Eater of Clowns on July 19, 2012, 03:52:11 AM
Slut does have one practical application, as a word.

Between consenting adults as part of a healthy regime of dirty talk!

This is just me, personally, but I don't like the word slut in my dirty talk.  It makes me feel like the guy wants me to be inferior to him.

As a hijacked word, I think it would work well as a word describing a woman who is promiscuous, has likes and dislikes in people of her preferred sexes/genders, will definitely tell you to fuck off if she doesn't want to fuck you, and then beat you to death with your own penis.  Just because.

I'd want to be a slut if it meant that.

E.O.T.


YOU GUYS

          seem to have covered quite a bit here. it's fun to call girls names, especially things they may not be keen on. referring to a girl as a "slut" by my standards, usually means she's someone who is likely to go home with a person who's poorly chosen, maybe because she's wasted, but it's also kind of a habit of hers. like, she sleeps with people she may not want to remember the details about the next day. yet, again, does this type of thing often. enough so, that as cool as she may be as a person, her sexual activity makes her unappealing, because she has no standards.

I DON'T PERSONALLY

          consider "slut" to be a put down, really, it's just a way of doing things. nigel's "friend/ whatever" is, imo, not so much a slut as she is just an asshole. i've known guys just like that chick. being "slutty" may mean that one eventually sleeps with anyone and everyone in their friend/ social circle, but i think a lot of people mistake sexual intimacy for intimate communication. for some people, sex is the foot in the door to getting to know someone.

THAT SAID,

          when i consider male slut friends, this term is more reserved for guys (i am thinking of mostly gay guy friends, since straight guy friends probably wish they could be sluts, if enough girls would just pay attention to them) who generally are so oversexed, that they really don't care what the anatomical parts are connected to, and will repeat this type of sexual encounter without shame, 'cause they're getting some. sluts can find true love though, i've seen this happen. even if it doesn't change their sexual habits, they just need to find the right partner.
"a good fight justifies any cause"

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: E.O.T. on July 19, 2012, 04:22:06 AM

YOU GUYS

          seem to have covered quite a bit here. it's fun to call girls names, especially things they may not be keen on. referring to a girl as a "slut" by my standards, usually means she's someone who is likely to go home with a person who's poorly chosen, maybe because she's wasted, but it's also kind of a habit of hers. like, she sleeps with people she may not want to remember the details about the next day. yet, again, does this type of thing often. enough so, that as cool as she may be as a person, her sexual activity makes her unappealing, because she has no standards.

I DON'T PERSONALLY

          consider "slut" to be a put down, really, it's just a way of doing things. nigel's "friend/ whatever" is, imo, not so much a slut as she is just an asshole. i've known guys just like that chick. being "slutty" may mean that one eventually sleeps with anyone and everyone in their friend/ social circle, but i think a lot of people mistake sexual intimacy for intimate communication. for some people, sex is the foot in the door to getting to know someone.

THAT SAID,

          when i consider male slut friends, this term is more reserved for guys (i am thinking of mostly gay guy friends, since straight guy friends probably wish they could be sluts, if enough girls would just pay attention to them) who generally are so oversexed, that they really don't care what the anatomical parts are connected to, and will repeat this type of sexual encounter without shame, 'cause they're getting some. sluts can find true love though, i've seen this happen. even if it doesn't change their sexual habits, they just need to find the right partner.

That's a little judgemental, doncha think?

You don't approve of their partner(s), so they're sluts?
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Freeky

Yeah, man, that's a whole lot of skeezy on a lot of different levels.

E.O.T.

Quote from: The Dead Reverend Roger on July 19, 2012, 04:24:56 AM
Quote from: E.O.T. on July 19, 2012, 04:22:06 AM

YOU GUYS

          seem to have covered quite a bit here. it's fun to call girls names, especially things they may not be keen on. referring to a girl as a "slut" by my standards, usually means she's someone who is likely to go home with a person who's poorly chosen, maybe because she's wasted, but it's also kind of a habit of hers. like, she sleeps with people she may not want to remember the details about the next day. yet, again, does this type of thing often. enough so, that as cool as she may be as a person, her sexual activity makes her unappealing, because she has no standards.

I DON'T PERSONALLY

          consider "slut" to be a put down, really, it's just a way of doing things. nigel's "friend/ whatever" is, imo, not so much a slut as she is just an asshole. i've known guys just like that chick. being "slutty" may mean that one eventually sleeps with anyone and everyone in their friend/ social circle, but i think a lot of people mistake sexual intimacy for intimate communication. for some people, sex is the foot in the door to getting to know someone.

THAT SAID,

          when i consider male slut friends, this term is more reserved for guys (i am thinking of mostly gay guy friends, since straight guy friends probably wish they could be sluts, if enough girls would just pay attention to them) who generally are so oversexed, that they really don't care what the anatomical parts are connected to, and will repeat this type of sexual encounter without shame, 'cause they're getting some. sluts can find true love though, i've seen this happen. even if it doesn't change their sexual habits, they just need to find the right partner.

That's a little judgemental, doncha think?

You don't approve of their partner(s), so they're sluts?

HA HA

          i'm not certain what point you're referring to, but i don't think i mentioned not approving of peoples partners.

AND

          i'm the kinda person that thinks skeezy is hot. i never said that i'm not a slut!
"a good fight justifies any cause"

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: E.O.T. on July 19, 2012, 04:43:42 AM

HA HA

          i'm not certain what point you're referring to, but i don't think i mentioned not approving of peoples partners.


Quoteseem to have covered quite a bit here. it's fun to call girls names, especially things they may not be keen on. referring to a girl as a "slut" by my standards, usually means she's someone who is likely to go home with a person who's poorly chosen, maybe because she's wasted,
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.