Introductions, part V: Don't Say We Never Warned You.

[McGrupp]

Hello, new guy here. 

Full disclosure: I admit I was drawn to this and other websites by the possibility of getting to feel mildly smug and potentially getting to wear a special hat.

That said, as I read more the hat thing went to the backburner.  Still not sure what to think of Discordianism, but I can't help feeling simultaneously drawn to and repelled by it.

In any case, I'll be around lurking but I did want to poke my head in and say hello.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Hello, new guy here. 

Full disclosure: I admit I was drawn to this and other websites by the possibility of getting to feel mildly smug and potentially getting to wear a special hat.

We have those.  Personally, I prefer a hockey helmet, firmly strapped to my head, for those moments when I feel smug.  Because "smug" is almost uniformly followed by "DERP", and I am one smug bastard.

That said, as I read more the hat thing went to the backburner.  Still not sure what to think of Discordianism, but I can't help feeling simultaneously drawn to and repelled by it.

You'll fit right in.  Watch out for ECH and Nigel, though.  They are BAD PEOPLE and they are NOT on YOUR SIDE.

In any case, I'll be around lurking but I did want to poke my head in and say hello.

Lurking here is sort of like standing next to an olympic pool in February, waiting for the 100 meter event to begin.  What you have to do is, you have to jump in that motherfucker and start swimming laps.  People may join you.  Yes, you'll all get hypothermia and DIE, but isn't that a small price to pay?

[insideout]

Hello, new guy here. 

Full disclosure: I admit I was drawn to this and other websites by the possibility of getting to feel mildly smug and potentially getting to wear a special hat.

That said, as I read more the hat thing went to the backburner.  Still not sure what to think of Discordianism, but I can't help feeling simultaneously drawn to and repelled by it.

In any case, I'll be around lurking but I did want to poke my head in and say hello.

Here's a special hat for ya:

welcome.

[Eater of Clowns]

Hello, new guy here. 

Full disclosure: I admit I was drawn to this and other websites by the possibility of getting to feel mildly smug and potentially getting to wear a special hat.

That said, as I read more the hat thing went to the backburner.  Still not sure what to think of Discordianism, but I can't help feeling simultaneously drawn to and repelled by it.

In any case, I'll be around lurking but I did want to poke my head in and say hello.

If you're only repelled by it and not repulsed then we're not doing our jobs.

Welcome to PD.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Hello, new guy here. 

Full disclosure: I admit I was drawn to this and other websites by the possibility of getting to feel mildly smug and potentially getting to wear a special hat.

That said, as I read more the hat thing went to the backburner.  Still not sure what to think of Discordianism, but I can't help feeling simultaneously drawn to and repelled by it.

In any case, I'll be around lurking but I did want to poke my head in and say hello.

Hey there, new guy!

You've already done three things right, so you're alright in my book.

[Jez]

Hi there.

I am newblood.  I'm one of those creepy people who lurks about for ages before actually joining, so I know enough not to scream and flail about when you call me on my bullshit.

I just started attending college again.  There were a lot of years between my first year and now, so I'm one of those irritating shits that think my experience in the actual world gives me insight into The Way Things Are^TM.  I'm working on Bachelor's degrees in Criminal Justice and Political Science on my way to law school.  I'm hoping hanging out with you lot will help me laugh at the system while learning what I can do to fix some small part of it and not losing my mind the longer I look into the abyss.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Hi there.

I am newblood.  I'm one of those creepy people who lurks about for ages before actually joining, so I know enough not to scream and flail about when you call me on my bullshit.

I just started attending college again.  There were a lot of years between my first year and now, so I'm one of those irritating shits that think my experience in the actual world gives me insight into The Way Things Are^TM.  I'm working on Bachelor's degrees in Criminal Justice and Political Science on my way to law school.  I'm hoping hanging out with you lot will help me laugh at the system while learning what I can do to fix some small part of it and not losing my mind the longer I look into the abyss.

Looking into the abyss isn't actually a problem, you'll find.  It's the whole "wallowing about in it" that tends to bring out that "HA HA HA NOW I'LL NEVER GET THIS SHIRT CLEAN!" feeling.

And if you're going into criminal law, that's essentially what's out there.  May I suggest that you enter on the prosecutorial side?  You can do more good there...What America needs is more DAs with a sense of what's really a crime, and what is just another poor slob being tipped into the system.  Of course, at first, you won't get much say in that, but eventually you may be able to make a difference.

In any case, welcome aboard.  Try not to get anything on your shoes.

[LMNO]

I'm one of those creepy people who lurks about for ages before actually joining, so I know enough not to scream and flail about when you call me on my bullshit.

My estimation of you is quite good, simply because of that.

"So don't fuck it up."
                   \

[Jez]

And if you're going into criminal law, that's essentially what's out there.  May I suggest that you enter on the prosecutorial side?  You can do more good there...What America needs is more DAs with a sense of what's really a crime, and what is just another poor slob being tipped into the system.  Of course, at first, you won't get much say in that, but eventually you may be able to make a difference.

That's the plan.  I'm also hoping to do some good by being able to help juries distinguish between actual mitigating circumstances and emotional manipulations by defense attorneys.

The ultimate goal is to be an appellate judge.  I'm pretty good at being able to see things from many angles at once.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

And if you're going into criminal law, that's essentially what's out there.  May I suggest that you enter on the prosecutorial side?  You can do more good there...What America needs is more DAs with a sense of what's really a crime, and what is just another poor slob being tipped into the system.  Of course, at first, you won't get much say in that, but eventually you may be able to make a difference.

That's the plan.  I'm also hoping to do some good by being able to help juries distinguish between actual mitigating circumstances and emotional manipulations by defense attorneys.

The ultimate goal is to be an appellate judge.  I'm pretty good at being able to see things from many angles at once.

Wow.  I like ambition.

As for emotional appeals, I've noticed they come in two flavors.

1.  The defendant has no excuse, no explanation.  He/she was fucking DUMB, and now knows just HOW dumb.  This is essentially a cry for mercy from some witless slob that shit the bed and doesn't know what to do.  And his lawyer?  He's doing his job.  If you have no defense, cry a bunch.

2.  REAL assholes, who are cynically manipulating the jury system.  Domestic violence repeat offenders are particularly good at this.  Hang the bastards higher than Haman.

You'll know the difference.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Hi there.

I am newblood.  I'm one of those creepy people who lurks about for ages before actually joining, so I know enough not to scream and flail about when you call me on my bullshit.

I just started attending college again.  There were a lot of years between my first year and now, so I'm one of those irritating shits that think my experience in the actual world gives me insight into The Way Things Are^TM.  I'm working on Bachelor's degrees in Criminal Justice and Political Science on my way to law school.  I'm hoping hanging out with you lot will help me laugh at the system while learning what I can do to fix some small part of it and not losing my mind the longer I look into the abyss.

Hey there, new guy!

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

I might be back, not sure yet.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I might be back, not sure yet.

Well howdy, stranger!

[Freeky]

And if you're going into criminal law, that's essentially what's out there.  May I suggest that you enter on the prosecutorial side?  You can do more good there...What America needs is more DAs with a sense of what's really a crime, and what is just another poor slob being tipped into the system.  Of course, at first, you won't get much say in that, but eventually you may be able to make a difference.

That's the plan.  I'm also hoping to do some good by being able to help juries distinguish between actual mitigating circumstances and emotional manipulations by defense attorneys.

The ultimate goal is to be an appellate judge.  I'm pretty good at being able to see things from many angles at once.

Greetings, Jez. :3

[Nast]

I pop in and out of this board so frequently that I feel that it hardly merits a post to announce that I found my way back, but I wanted to express my gratitude that this board has provided me with so many diverting things to read while I lay through the three days of throat infection and insomnia. For awhile there I was on the verge of taking up knitting again to fill the long void-like hours, but then I realized how much knitting infuriates me so I thought of coming back to you spags instead. Love you all!