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Introductions, part V: Don't Say We Never Warned You.

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, July 18, 2012, 05:38:01 PM

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Auscultare of the Fatigue

Quote from: Pæs on November 26, 2013, 11:46:09 PM
Quote from: Auscultare of the Fatigue on November 26, 2013, 11:24:03 PM
I strange visions of grandeur and scheme hatchery until somehow I ended up on the Wikipedia page for:


Who is that?


Quote from: Auscultare of the Fatigue on November 26, 2013, 11:24:03 PM
threw my computer into an incinerator
Quote from: Auscultare of the Fatigue on November 26, 2013, 11:24:03 PM
typed www.principiadiscordia.com into my search bar.
Which search bar? Your computer is in the incinerator. This entire story sounds fishy.

J.R "Bob" Dobbs, the figurehead for the irreligion of SubGenius.

And so does all of Discordianism, you don't see people here bashi- wait.. shit.

Quote from: Faust on November 26, 2013, 11:47:05 PM
Quote from: Auscultare of the Fatigue on November 26, 2013, 11:38:18 PM
Quote from: Faust on November 26, 2013, 11:29:03 PM
Quote from: Auscultare of the Fatigue on November 26, 2013, 11:24:03 PM

I was on the verge of scooping my eyeballs out with my dirty ashtray when a goddess like figure appeared to me. She bent over my desk and typed www.principiadiscordia.com into my search bar.

It's a feature not a bug.

??

Strange apparitions of women when trying to access the site. We were on a budget so we bought some second hand servers from the event horizon.

Wow this place just gets better and better.

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Auscultare of the Fatigue on November 26, 2013, 11:24:03 PM

I was on the verge of scooping my eyeballs out with my dirty ashtray when a goddess like figure appeared to me. She bent over my desk and typed www.principiadiscordia.com into my search bar.


That was Nigel.  She is NOT ON YOUR SIDE.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Auscultare of the Fatigue

Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on November 27, 2013, 12:45:53 AM
Quote from: Auscultare of the Fatigue on November 26, 2013, 11:24:03 PM

I was on the verge of scooping my eyeballs out with my dirty ashtray when a goddess like figure appeared to me. She bent over my desk and typed www.principiadiscordia.com into my search bar.


That was Nigel.  She is NOT ON YOUR SIDE.

..I'll just wait for her to comment on that.  :lol:

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Auscultare of the Fatigue on November 27, 2013, 12:49:27 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on November 27, 2013, 12:45:53 AM
Quote from: Auscultare of the Fatigue on November 26, 2013, 11:24:03 PM

I was on the verge of scooping my eyeballs out with my dirty ashtray when a goddess like figure appeared to me. She bent over my desk and typed www.principiadiscordia.com into my search bar.


That was Nigel.  She is NOT ON YOUR SIDE.

..I'll just wait for her to comment on that.  :lol:

You can't believe her, anyway.  Not one of her, no matter how many of her tell you WHAT.  She's bad news, man.  She has six arms and does this weird Asian dance with blowtorches and pliers and HAW HAW HOW YOU GONNA GET THAT SHIRT CLEAN NOW, MISTER NIGEL?

REMAIN CALM.  BLAME NIGEL.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

What most people don't know is that Nigel has truck with the Hiroshima shadows, and directs them in their hunting.  They slip into the most secure home or bunker by way of the sewers or ventilation shafts, and then you're locked in with them.  They give Nigel whatever they don't consume, and she uses that to whatever nefarious ends she has planned.  Which don't bear thinking about, but are probably not in the best interests of society or even sanity. 

Nigel invented pull-start sex toys, which explains the weird look on everyone's faces in Portland.  Like they just woke up startled, but they look that way all day

Even LMNO will not "fuck with her game" as they say on the East Coast, in the low dives and seedy bodegas that he frequents.  There's more to HIM as well, but he isn't immediately dangerous.  Not yet.  It's only 6:15 PM, after all.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: Auscultare of the Fatigue on November 26, 2013, 11:24:03 PM

One registration and two emails later, here I am with many, many, many regrets.

Those are just the tip of the iceberg, son.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on November 27, 2013, 01:12:39 AM
What most people don't know is that Nigel has truck with the Hiroshima shadows, and directs them in their hunting.  They slip into the most secure home or bunker by way of the sewers or ventilation shafts, and then you're locked in with them.  They give Nigel whatever they don't consume, and she uses that to whatever nefarious ends she has planned.  Which don't bear thinking about, but are probably not in the best interests of society or even sanity. 

Nigel invented pull-start sex toys, which explains the weird look on everyone's faces in Portland.  Like they just woke up startled, but they look that way all day

Even LMNO will not "fuck with her game" as they say on the East Coast, in the low dives and seedy bodegas that he frequents.  There's more to HIM as well, but he isn't immediately dangerous.  Not yet.  It's only 6:15 PM, after all.

I had to send the shadows down the Hole; damn things scared the cat and got stains EVERYWHERE.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


The Good Reverend Roger

Medieval witches kept cats that made them fly.  Nigel does not do this.  No.  It's the other way around, and she does not limit herself to felines.  You can tell when you're in her neighborhood.  It's raining cats and dogs.  The ASPCA doesn't say SHIT about it, either, not after The Incident.  Animal control will just hang up on you, too.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Auscultare of the Fatigue

Quote from: Radagast's Red Velvet Pancake Puppies on November 27, 2013, 01:17:23 AM
Quote from: Auscultare of the Fatigue on November 26, 2013, 11:24:03 PM

One registration and two emails later, here I am with many, many, many regrets.

Those are just the tip of the iceberg, son.

Everyone seems to be caught up on that one line.

Payne

Quote from: Auscultare of the Fatigue on November 27, 2013, 04:23:21 AM
Quote from: Radagast's Red Velvet Pancake Puppies on November 27, 2013, 01:17:23 AM
Quote from: Auscultare of the Fatigue on November 26, 2013, 11:24:03 PM

One registration and two emails later, here I am with many, many, many regrets.

Those are just the tip of the iceberg, son.

Everyone seems to be caught up on that one line.

I only have one regret, but it's a big one.

It's freakishly tall and Belgian and blocks out the sunlight which is a problem when you're bumming around Edinburgh with it, because it's already quite sunless there and that's how you get hypothermia.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: Auscultare of the Fatigue on November 27, 2013, 04:23:21 AM
Quote from: Radagast's Red Velvet Pancake Puppies on November 27, 2013, 01:17:23 AM
Quote from: Auscultare of the Fatigue on November 26, 2013, 11:24:03 PM

One registration and two emails later, here I am with many, many, many regrets.

Those are just the tip of the iceberg, son.

Everyone seems to be caught up on that one line.

We're all bots, and our script choices are limited.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Payne

Quote from: Radagast's Red Velvet Pancake Puppies on November 27, 2013, 05:40:15 AM
Speaking of :regret:, does s/he know?

:regret: knows nothing, which I fear may make this entire thing non-consensual.

Prepare the bastinado table, Nigel!

popeluvicasksc

"Explorers in the further regions of experience. Demons to some. Angels to others."- Pinhead

Pæs

Quote from: popeluvicasksc on November 27, 2013, 05:56:17 AM
Alright, I'm here.
I'm already bored by you. Was there ever a time where it was possible for you not to charge in and establish an antagonistic relationship with this board?