Introductions, part V: Don't Say We Never Warned You.

[Eater of Clowns]

Hey guys!

I'm Balthazar and I'm from Idaho, the potato capital of the world. When I'm not meat-puppeting for the man I try to make sense of things. I have failed miserably in this regard. It really could be turtles all the way down. I knew about Discordianism way too early to appreciate it and read the Principia Discordia embarrassingly late. Eris shouted something into my ears but I've the metaphorical cotton shoved too far in there to hear, now I'm in search of the metaphorical tweezers to pull it out.

The wise man Douglas Adams once said:  "There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

There is another theory which states that this has already happened."

I've been so much of a make-sense-of-things-aholic that I forgot to stop and smell the roses. I need a support group or something. I'll happily settle for something.

You better not be eyeballing my metaphorical tweezers.   

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

Hey new guy! You present yourself as someone who is moderately unshitty, I hope you live up to that 

[Ziegejunge]

This is a fine place indeed for moderately unshitty people. Welcome!

[Little Red Riding Hood]

Hello! I'm Little Red Riding Hood. I used to lurk here long ago. You guys showed me some cool stuff, and I want to share some of my writings with other humans, so here I am.

[Trivial]

Hello! I'm Little Red Riding Hood. I used to lurk here long ago. You guys showed me some cool stuff, and I want to share some of my writings with other humans, so here I am.

Hello!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Hello, new people! Welcome!

[MithridatesXXIII]

Hello Discordians.  I like Discordia and I like Eris too. I'm looking forward to discussing things with other Discordians. Thank you.

[POFP]

I'm looking forward to discussing things with other Discordians.

You just missed'em. They went... [that way]!



You see, you've found the Cow (Chao?). This is where things are chewed, digested a little, thrown up, and chewed and digested again. I hope you've found what you're looking for!

Pool's closed on account of The Tentacle-Faced Mistress. But it's on the roof if you're brave enough.

[MithridatesXXIII]

I'm looking forward to discussing things with other Discordians.

You just missed'em. They went... [that way]!



You see, you've found the Cow (Chao?). This is where things are chewed, digested a little, thrown up, and chewed and digested again. I hope you've found what you're looking for!

Pool's closed on account of The Tentacle-Faced Mistress. But it's on the roof if you're brave enough.

Cows are near and dear to me. Have you seen the movie Hackers? Your pool reference reminds me of that. Are you a poet? You have a way with words. Anyhow, nice to meet you Fernando.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

I'm looking forward to discussing things with other Discordians.

You just missed'em. They went... [that way]!



You see, you've found the Cow (Chao?). This is where things are chewed, digested a little, thrown up, and chewed and digested again. I hope you've found what you're looking for!

Pool's closed on account of The Tentacle-Faced Mistress. But it's on the roof if you're brave enough.

It's FINE. Those babies at the EPA don't know what they're talking about. A little hydrofluoric acid is good for the complexion.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Hello, new person! We're not so bad around here.

[MithridatesXXIII]

Hello, new person! We're not so bad around here.

Hello. I got that impression. I am intrigued by the rhetorical style of the posters here. It's colorful to say the least.

[POFP]

I'm looking forward to discussing things with other Discordians.

You just missed'em. They went... [that way]!



You see, you've found the Cow (Chao?). This is where things are chewed, digested a little, thrown up, and chewed and digested again. I hope you've found what you're looking for!

Pool's closed on account of The Tentacle-Faced Mistress. But it's on the roof if you're brave enough.

Cows are near and dear to me. Have you seen the movie Hackers? Your pool reference reminds me of that. Are you a poet? You have a way with words. Anyhow, nice to meet you Fernando.

I have not seen the movie Hackers, but now I want to.

I wouldn't consider myself a poet, but I enjoy writing. I rarely do it, however. I appreciate the compliment
Nice to meet you, too.

I'm looking forward to discussing things with other Discordians.

You just missed'em. They went... [that way]!



You see, you've found the Cow (Chao?). This is where things are chewed, digested a little, thrown up, and chewed and digested again. I hope you've found what you're looking for!

Pool's closed on account of The Tentacle-Faced Mistress. But it's on the roof if you're brave enough.

It's FINE. Those babies at the EPA don't know what they're talking about. A little hydrofluoric acid is good for the complexion.

But we made the pool itself out of glass to appease the rich, art snobs...


I stand corrected, new guy. The pool is no longer on the roof. The top floor is now the pool. Tomorrow, the pool will be the basement.

It's FINE. Those babies at the EPA don't know what they're talking about. A little hydrofluoric acid is good for the complexion.

Also, newsfeed? 

[Junkenstein]

Hello, new person! We're not so bad around here.

Hello. I got that impression. I am intrigued by the rhetorical style of the posters here. It's colorful to say the least.

Nothing but unbiased, unvarnished, pure and horribly wholesome truth here.

Please disclose your sins and petty grudges for the official record.

[MithridatesXXIII]

Hello, new person! We're not so bad around here.

Hello. I got that impression. I am intrigued by the rhetorical style of the posters here. It's colorful to say the least.

Nothing but unbiased, unvarnished, pure and horribly wholesome truth here.

Please disclose your sins and petty grudges for the official record.

Hahaha. My greatest sin? I got the message but didn't hang up the phone.

My biggest grudge is against existential horror. It is quite inferior to metaphysical and ontological horror.