...I am once again the oldest member of PD. As such, I demand the respect and veneration that my advanced age merits. I demand that the white hairs in my beard and scattered around my head receive the proper respect which is their due. Why, if this was 5 hundred years ago, I would be a marvel of longevity, and my lecherous ways would be excused as eccentricity and not the sort of thing that makes everyone crowd over to the other side of the bus.
I have made my wisdom available; you have not listened. I have shown great restraint in the way in which I react to your youthful shenanigans, and have beaten hardly anyone with my cane. And they deserved it. I'm talking to YOU, Remington.
Anyways, let's get on with the respecting and the veneration already. And shut up while you're doing it, because I cannot understand the jibber jabber that comes out of your mouth and is obviously caused by brain damage induced by drugs and the rock and the roll. Why, in my day, the hardest drug we did was HARD WORK and the rowdiest music we listened to was The Little River Band, and we wore PROPER RESTRAINTS while we listened!
So get off my lawn. Or, as the British would say, GEROFF MY RUBBISH HEAP.
Damn kids.
Or Kill Me Again.