Dating and Sex for Bipeds

[Verbal Mike]

I'm at an early stage in this entire thing, just barely approaching the Dating and Sex parts of it all, so maybe this is just vaguely related to the thread topic.
Generally (without specifying sexual or romantic or emotional interest), I've noticed that I tend to "weird out" girls with long silences and apparent lack of interest (yes, it's ridiculous that I behave differently around males and females, and it makes me feel a bit guilty about succumbing to traditional perceptions of gender). I think I'm showing interest, but it turns out it's not that visible from outside my mind. They're not completely weirded out, just so that we at best end up as friendly acquaintances. If I wasn't so inhibited by my anxiety, that could have developed into relations that would better satisfy my need for intimacy. At least I'm growing up, and gradually making progress at handling situations like that in a better way.

I think I've experienced something a lot like that, repeatedly over years.
I read this blog post a year or two ago about "ways to be a better listener" – which I thought I was already great at, btw – and picked up two really important tips: ask follow-up questions, even when they're totally banal, and sometimes rephrase what the other person said to show you're listening and are interested in knowing you got it right.
Stuff like:
Other person says "So then I opened the fridge and MY MILK WAS GONE!"
One way to signal you're listening: "ALL OF IT?!"
Another way: "Your milk, all gone, from the fridge." (replace period with question mark and it works too)
Their reply either way: "Yeah!"

Other scenario:
"I'm a graphic designer"
"So you like design logos and websites and pamphlets and stuff?" or "You're in graphic design."

Obviously, this is even easier to do when the topic isn't completely banal in the first place. But the signals work in any context, in my experience.

This is probably super obvious to the social butterflies amongst us but to me this was like FINALLY A WAY TO NOT ALWAYS COME ACROSS AS DISTRACTED AND BORED. (I've been in a stable monogamous relationship for longer than I've known this though, so no idea if I'd have the presence of mind to do it while flirting with someone I want to get with.)

ETA: minor clarifications in the last sentence.