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Reproductive health question

Started by tyrannosaurus vex, August 13, 2012, 03:27:31 PM

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tyrannosaurus vex

August 13, 2012, 03:27:31 PM
How tight are these things supposed to be? Is it normal to feel like you're racing against the clock to prevent cell death from blood starvation?
Evil and Unfeeling Arse-Flenser From The City of the Damned.

Freeky

#1
August 13, 2012, 03:29:05 PM
Huh?

P3nT4gR4m

#2
August 13, 2012, 03:35:57 PM
Attn: Jubilee clips do not make good cock rings!  :eek:

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

The Good Reverend Roger

#3
August 13, 2012, 03:53:37 PM
Quote from: v3x on August 13, 2012, 03:27:31 PM
How tight are these things supposed to be? Is it normal to feel like you're racing against the clock to prevent cell death from blood starvation?

Do not put dick in vise.

Also, those things come in different sizes.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

East Coast Hustle

#4
August 13, 2012, 05:58:10 PM
Bollocks.

They're all the same size, they just put different marking on the packages so people with insecurities will pay a few cents more for MAGNUM or XTRA or MASSIVEHORSECOCK or whatever they're calling it these days.
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

The Good Reverend Roger

#5
August 13, 2012, 06:08:27 PM
Quote from: Echo Chamber Music on August 13, 2012, 05:58:10 PM
Bollocks.

They're all the same size, they just put different marking on the packages so people with insecurities will pay a few cents more for MAGNUM or XTRA or MASSIVEHORSECOCK or whatever they're calling it these days.

Personally, I use "Glad 50 Gallon Garbage Bag" brand.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

P3nT4gR4m

#6
August 13, 2012, 06:41:20 PM
Please note that the staples are, in fact, part of the packaging and not intended for use in attaching product to genitals

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

The Good Reverend Roger

#7
August 13, 2012, 06:55:02 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on August 13, 2012, 06:41:20 PM
Please note that the staples are, in fact, part of the packaging and not intended for use in attaching product to genitals

Killjoy.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

tyrannosaurus vex

#8
August 13, 2012, 07:08:40 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on August 13, 2012, 06:41:20 PM
Please note that the staples are, in fact, part of the packaging and not intended for use in attaching product to genitals

But how else do I relieve the pressure?
Evil and Unfeeling Arse-Flenser From The City of the Damned.

P3nT4gR4m

#9
August 13, 2012, 07:37:19 PM
Gate valve? ... no ... hold on ... I have a better idea ...























wait for it...
































...STOPCOCK  :lulz:

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

The Dark Monk

#10
August 13, 2012, 10:00:15 PM
Spermicidal foam or sponges, birth control, The Houdini (two of these or) -ectomies.

Condoms even for the "slightly larger than average man" will make you race the clock with the dulling sensation of latex, which NEVER works.
I thought this is all there is,
but now I know you are so much more.
I want to upgrade from my simple eight bits,
but will you still love me when I'm sixty-four?
~MIAB~

AFK

#11
August 13, 2012, 10:58:18 PM
We've had one of the -ectomies due to a complicated pregnancy, so we've been able to avoid this issue as of late. Not helpful, I know.



Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

The Good Reverend Roger

#12
August 13, 2012, 11:42:38 PM
I went and saw the man with the microsurgery tools.

Great for stopping pregnancies, not so good for STDs.  So you still gotta do the right thing.

Anyways, as for my 2nd to last post, I am relying on Ricteriania 3:34 - "Every man has a right to make jimmy jokes, no matter if they're funny or not."

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Anna Mae Bollocks

#13
August 14, 2012, 01:11:20 AM
Quote from: v3x on August 13, 2012, 03:27:31 PM
How tight are these things supposed to be? Is it normal to feel like you're racing against the clock to prevent cell death from blood starvation?

For a second I thought he was talking about the cooch. I was like, wha.....?
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Da6s

#14
August 14, 2012, 01:21:33 AM
If she's taller than you avoid stretching large muscles (standing on tip toes). Really doesn't help with aforementioned blood circulation and is a guaranteed way to give her a complex about her appearance.


Source: SCIENCE

We appear to be doomed by our DNA to repeat the same destructive behaviors our forebears have repeated for millenia. If anything our problem solving skills have actually diminished with the advent of technology & our ubiquitous modern conveniences. & yet despite our predisposition towards fear-driven hostility; towards what we anachronistically term primitive behavior another instinct is just as firmly encoded in our make-up. We are capable as our ancestors were of incredible breathtaking acts of kindness. Every hour of every day a man risks his life at a moments notice to save another. Forget for a moment the belligerent benevolent billionaires who grant the unfortunate a crumb of costfree cake. I speak of pure acts of selflessness. A Mother who rushes into the street to save a child from a speeding vehicle. A person who runs into a burning building to reach a family trapped on the upper story. Such actions,such moments,such unconscious selfless decisions,define what it is to be human
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