Author Topic: Point in time at which only a handful of Discordians will be left  (Read 11374 times)

Placid Dingo

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Im a bit late putting it out there, but a lot of people still have invitations from events sent out when the Discordian Society on Facebook spammed the fuck out of people with event invites.


There's only a handful of events this far in the future but I thought it might be interesting to do some celebrations. The upcoming event is 'time at which only a handful of Discordians will be left.' Date; September 9. Any suggestiOns?
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Nephew Twiddleton

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Re: Point in time at which only a handful of Discordians will be left
« Reply #1 on: August 23, 2012, 11:34:19 pm »
Funny enough i think thats the feast day for the guy my familys named after. Therefore declare some sort of monastery and evangelize. Thats what he did. Bring a cow. Or at least a fake one.
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Re: Point in time at which only a handful of Discordians will be left
« Reply #2 on: August 24, 2012, 12:20:59 am »
The upcoming event is 'time at which only a handful of Discordians will be left.' Date; September 9.

Pick an arbitrary time to represent the "time at which only a few Discordians will be left" for example eight twenty nine in the evening or half past midday.

At the alloted time perform a solemn discordian minute's silence.

Take a deep breath and hold it for as long as you can . As your face starts to go puce, spare a thought for anyone else who was gullible devout enough to join their positive energy to this spiritual exercise.

Return to your normal daily duties citizen.

Oh, and don't forget to start breathing again.
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Re: Point in time at which only a handful of Discordians will be left
« Reply #3 on: August 24, 2012, 04:30:23 am »
Eat 23 oranges.
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Re: Point in time at which only a handful of Discordians will be left
« Reply #4 on: August 24, 2012, 12:50:44 pm »
Flash Mob at the BMV.
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Re: Point in time at which only a handful of Discordians will be left
« Reply #5 on: August 24, 2012, 12:51:13 pm »
Cash Mob at the local homeless guy on the corner.
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Re: Point in time at which only a handful of Discordians will be left
« Reply #6 on: September 03, 2012, 06:51:56 pm »
I say, 95% of Discordians that day should declare themselves Republican or some other Conservative item. It's a lame play on the whole "left" thing, but whatever.
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The Wizard Joseph

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Re: Point in time at which only a handful of Discordians will be left
« Reply #7 on: September 03, 2012, 11:29:33 pm »
Find every Discordian you know personally and behead them screaming THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!!  Flail around in ecstasy for a while after each beheading and set off cheap fire works.  Activating a Tesla coil might be fun as well!
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Re: Point in time at which only a handful of Discordians will be left
« Reply #8 on: September 04, 2012, 01:16:56 am »
Find every Discordian you know personally and behead them screaming THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!!  Flail around in ecstasy for a while after each beheading and set off cheap fire works.  Activating a Tesla coil might be fun as well!

Holy fuckballs, shut UP!  I live in walking distance of Richter, he's got shit that can behead me from his living room!
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The Wizard Joseph

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Re: Point in time at which only a handful of Discordians will be left
« Reply #9 on: September 04, 2012, 02:15:03 am »
Find every Discordian you know personally and behead them screaming THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!!  Flail around in ecstasy for a while after each beheading and set off cheap fire works.  Activating a Tesla coil might be fun as well!

Holy fuckballs, shut UP!  I live in walking distance of Richter, he's got shit that can behead me from his living room!

 :lulz: Hey now, I'm just planting seeds! Have you considered getting out there and REALLY WINNING the arms race?

Mind you this has nothing at all to do with the fact that I am not really Discordian per se and do not know any personally that I am aware of. It's about the holiday! It's festive.
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

"It's not even chaos anymore. It's BANAL."
- Doktor Hamish Howl

Nephew Twiddleton

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Re: Point in time at which only a handful of Discordians will be left
« Reply #10 on: September 04, 2012, 04:07:38 am »
I can also personally confirm that if richter wanted to go all french revolutionary on us he could. Thankfully richter seems to like me and the rest of us new englanders.
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Re: Point in time at which only a handful of Discordians will be left
« Reply #11 on: September 04, 2012, 05:11:17 am »
Find every Discordian you know personally and behead them screaming THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!!  Flail around in ecstasy for a while after each beheading and set off cheap fire works.  Activating a Tesla coil might be fun as well!

Holy fuckballs, shut UP!  I live in walking distance of Richter, he's got shit that can behead me from his living room!

 :lulz: Hey now, I'm just planting seeds! Have you considered getting out there and REALLY WINNING the arms race?

Mind you this has nothing at all to do with the fact that I am not really Discordian per se and do not know any personally that I am aware of. It's about the holiday! It's festive.

Winning an arms race?  With RICHTER?

Oh, hell, no.  He can sharpen a cotton ball and murder you with it.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

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"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

Nephew Twiddleton

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Re: Point in time at which only a handful of Discordians will be left
« Reply #12 on: September 04, 2012, 05:34:03 am »
Find every Discordian you know personally and behead them screaming THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!!  Flail around in ecstasy for a while after each beheading and set off cheap fire works.  Activating a Tesla coil might be fun as well!

Holy fuckballs, shut UP!  I live in walking distance of Richter, he's got shit that can behead me from his living room!

 :lulz: Hey now, I'm just planting seeds! Have you considered getting out there and REALLY WINNING the arms race?

Mind you this has nothing at all to do with the fact that I am not really Discordian per se and do not know any personally that I am aware of. It's about the holiday! It's festive.

Winning an arms race?  With RICHTER?

Oh, hell, no.  He can sharpen a cotton ball and murder you with it.

Luna speaks truth. Richter would frighten me if he didn't seem so willing to to teach you what he knows.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
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Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

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Pope Pixie Pickle

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Re: Point in time at which only a handful of Discordians will be left
« Reply #13 on: September 04, 2012, 09:49:12 am »
Find every Discordian you know personally and behead them screaming THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!!  Flail around in ecstasy for a while after each beheading and set off cheap fire works.  Activating a Tesla coil might be fun as well!

The closest Discordian to me is my beloved Payne. he does snore, but I think going Highlander on him is somewhat excessive..

The Wizard Joseph

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Re: Point in time at which only a handful of Discordians will be left
« Reply #14 on: September 04, 2012, 08:34:37 pm »
Find every Discordian you know personally and behead them screaming THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!!  Flail around in ecstasy for a while after each beheading and set off cheap fire works.  Activating a Tesla coil might be fun as well!

Holy fuckballs, shut UP!  I live in walking distance of Richter, he's got shit that can behead me from his living room!

 :lulz: Hey now, I'm just planting seeds! Have you considered getting out there and REALLY WINNING the arms race?

Mind you this has nothing at all to do with the fact that I am not really Discordian per se and do not know any personally that I am aware of. It's about the holiday! It's festive.

Winning an arms race?  With RICHTER?

Oh, hell, no.  He can sharpen a cotton ball and murder you with it.

Luna speaks truth. Richter would frighten me if he didn't seem so willing to to teach you what he knows.

He sounds pretty damn cool then. I'm quite ok with a person that has weapons as long as they know how to use them and have real respect for the gravity of their pupose.

Also, the trick to cotton ball weaponization is not sharpness, it's placement!.. and possibly what's on the cotton ball.

Find every Discordian you know personally and behead them screaming THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!!  Flail around in ecstasy for a while after each beheading and set off cheap fire works.  Activating a Tesla coil might be fun as well!

The closest Discordian to me is my beloved Payne. he does snore, but I think going Highlander on him is somewhat excessive..

Well it's my understanding that He's the Fucking Messiah around here. Those snores are therefore holy writ and should be recorded for the masses' edification. Besides If JC could come back after a beating and crucifixion I'm sure Payne will be able to one up Him.

What I Really think is funny about the whole premise of the beheading spree is the idea of the media firestorm that would result! THAT would put Discordia briefly, but gloriously and permanently on the world stage.
Also kind of a Zen thing. Waking up that day and realizing every Discordian is a Buddha and therefore must be put down for the good of all. There's kind of a completion to it, I think.  :)
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

"It's not even chaos anymore. It's BANAL."
- Doktor Hamish Howl