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TESTEMONAIL:  Right and Discordianism allows room for personal interpretation. You have your theories and I have mine. Unlike Christianity, Discordia allows room for ideas and opinions, and mine is well-informed and based on ancient philosophy and theology, so, my neo-Discordian friends, open your minds to my interpretation and I will open my mind to yours. That's fair enough, right? Just claiming to be discordian should mean that your mind is open and willing to learn and share ideas. You guys are fucking bashing me and your laughing at my theologies and my friends know what's up and are laughing at you and honestly this is my last shot at putting a label on my belief structure and your making me lose all hope of ever finding a ideological group I can relate to because you don't even know what the fuck I'm talking about and everything I have said is based on the founding principals of real Discordianism. Expand your mind.

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SUU!!! I have ideas for you!

Started by Murmur, August 24, 2012, 08:26:25 PM

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Murmur

I saw this and instantly thought of you:

Tolerable Terror for Toddlers Legionaire, Nixon Division™

"Onlookers will be horrified and amazed by the sheer volume of fluid."--TGRR

"SaraLee, I say unto you!  If ye have a cake and halve it, and then halve it yet again, you would have four quarters and yet still not have a dollar.  Eat of that cake, for it is cake which is NOT cake, which ye may have half a mind to have at a reasonable price, yet in indecision achieve satori with said stale Moon Pie.  That's what you get when YOU FUCK WITH US." - DOUR

Suu

Hah, brilliant on the part of the sandwich, but she'd probably leave it there, as she doesn't clean up anything of mine.

That reminds me, after I posted the biological warfare thread here, remarkably she cleaned the fridge out the next day of the compost and green ricotta cheese.

It makes me wonder if she's spying on me. :tinfoilhat:
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

The Dark Monk

#2
I remember a story that went something like this: (brings out corncob pipe, straw hat and rocking chair on the porch)

Two roommates who were friends of mine used to play a game called "Hide the Poop".
It goes simply like this:
Roommate 1's turn. Roommate 1 poops somewhere, and Roommate 2 has to find it, then it becomes his turn.

This continued for a few months, as poop was found in socks, pillowcases, top of the toilet, etc. Things started going worse when Roommate 1 found one in his underwear after drunkenly putting them on. Roommate 1 got devious. He took a large tub of margarine, such as country crock, and froze it. When it became solid, he turned it upside-down and hollowed out the bottom, and left his turn in the bottom, afterwards replacing the margarine. Roommate 2 was puzzled, he couldn't find it. He didn't suspect his food item, and for months looked for the prize, thinking he had won and the game had stopped. One day, during breakfast, he realized his mistake. he had become complacent, and paid for it in smelly ingestibles.
They promptly beat the crap out of each other, but made for a delightful story, with a moral:
If you can think of something crazy and devious, you best be sure you are the craziest and most devious, or it will end up in your food one day.

Edit: I no way encouraged this or certain ideas in certain elements from an idea that was not my own.  :wink:
I thought this is all there is,
but now I know you are so much more.
I want to upgrade from my simple eight bits,
but will you still love me when I'm sixty-four?
~MIAB~

Salty

That's some fucked up shit.

Just get a big pink dildo, and then draw a frowney face on it. Then whenever your roommate pisses you off stick the dildo somewhere awkward.

Like in the backseat of a vo-no, like in her bag, or in her lunch, or in her pillow case.
The world is a car and you're the crash test dummy.

Suu

These are all good clean fun...if I really couldn't stand her. But it's not like that, she's pretty chill and cool.

...But damnit, I think I just need to get the fuck out on my own again. She saved me from a collapsing roof, but I really need to live on my own.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."