LMNO, just a quick note, cause I gotta dash.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Gotta speed up.  Gotta hurry.  Gotta run.  There's something behind me, and if I stop moving for a second, it'll get me for sure.  There's no silver medal for second place.  These financials aren't gonna tie themselves up.  I have to beat them to it, you see.  I have to stay ahead of my paperwork, my competitors, and my state government's insanity.

Nothing to it but to do it.  You're only as good as your last day...Whatcha done for us lately?  Here's another stack of Management of Change paperwork, to be completed so that it can be filed where the techs who need it can't see it.  Security reasons, you know.  Move move move.  I need to get Ernie his gasoline, Mike needs his EPA reports, and I need a bazooka.

But there's no TIME for bazookas.  Corporate Jesus is expecting results.  Now.  Yesterday.  More coffee.  Need that edge. 

Is your first day back in the office like this?

[LMNO]

Yes, but with more corporate speak.


LMNO
-incentivizing for impactful solves.

[Faust]

As someone who works in semi State research there are two types of creatures here.
There are some that work entirely on academic research, they are slow methodical creatures, oblivious to anything outside their own research projects.

Then there is us contractors. There is no more work unless we can bring in more projects, these projects are with industry, and with clients comes responsibility. It's all about doing more work then was scoped for and connecting with other people to keep your work coming in. You stop to breath and you have been forgotten because peoples memories are permenantly in the short term.

To the academics we must look humming birds, darting around the place. To us, the academic tortoise move so slowely we might mistake them for rocks or fossils.

It's relativity at play.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

-incentivizing for impactful solves.

Why do they do that shit?  I mean, other than for the purpose of masking incompetence with poor communication?  How about making them restate themselves with ACTUAL ENGLISH WORDS?

"Giving a damn good reason for finding a proper solution."

"Fix that shit."

"Fix that shit, or else."

[The Good Reverend Roger]

As someone who works in semi State research there are two types of creatures here.
There are some that work entirely on academic research, they are slow methodical creatures, oblivious to anything outside their own research projects.

Then there is us contractors. There is no more work unless we can bring in more projects, these projects are with industry, and with clients comes responsibility. It's all about doing more work then was scoped for and connecting with other people to keep your work coming in. You stop to breath and you have been forgotten because peoples memories are permenantly in the short term.

To the academics we must look humming birds, darting around the place. To us, the academic tortoise move so slowely we might mistake them for rocks or fossils.

It's relativity at play.

"Gotta get going." said the rock.

And that was the start of all the problems.

[Faust]

As someone who works in semi State research there are two types of creatures here.
There are some that work entirely on academic research, they are slow methodical creatures, oblivious to anything outside their own research projects.

Then there is us contractors. There is no more work unless we can bring in more projects, these projects are with industry, and with clients comes responsibility. It's all about doing more work then was scoped for and connecting with other people to keep your work coming in. You stop to breath and you have been forgotten because peoples memories are permenantly in the short term.

To the academics we must look humming birds, darting around the place. To us, the academic tortoise move so slowely we might mistake them for rocks or fossils.

It's relativity at play.

"Gotta get going." said the rock.

And that was the start of all the problems.

And then one day you are rolling uncontrollably and cant seem to stop.

[Salty]

I hate the kind of corporate speak that's designed for the lowest common denominator.

In particular:

"We'll just put this in the parking lot."

Now, that kind of shit was said with a common understanding that I knew its meaning.
Then, when asked, it was explained to me that it was an issue we would deal with later.
Then I understood what they MEANT was "We are going to pretend we give damn and then move on to what we do actually give a damn about."

I'm glad I don't work for those fuckers anymore, despite being more hungry and whatnot.

[LMNO]

Yes, "parking lot" does indeed mean that your thoughts are irrelevant.  The same with "scope creep" and "discuss offline".

At the same time, sometimes you need a more confusing way of saying STFU.

[AFK]

Those occur in the non-profit/community organizing world as well.  Though, sometimes stuff that gets "parked" will eventually get addressed.  But yeah, more often thannot it's just a subtle way of saying "your idea kind of sucks" and getting on with the meeting.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I've long relied on "you're a bonehead".  The only downside is I keep getting sent to communication classes.

[Faust]

Yes, "parking lot" does indeed mean that your thoughts are irrelevant.  The same with "scope creep" and "discuss offline".

At the same time, sometimes you need a more confusing way of saying STFU.

If you really want to set alarm bells off my favourite apple is "That is a courageous decision to make"
It generally leads to a follow on meeting to hear why they were about to shoot us all collectively in the foot.

[Roly Poly Oly-Garch]

Customer facing verbiage today:

"We are doing unscheduled web-site maintenance."

Very similar to when you throw a rod in your car and you have to do "unscheduled vehicle maintenance." It's exactly like an oil change only, you know, unscheduled.

[I_Kicked_Kennedy]

Talent Consolidation and Directive Pairing.

That's what a certain corporation is doing over the next four months. Last month it was Performance Excellence Enforcement, until they noted no one was putting the X in the acronym, like they usually do for PEx. They call it something different every time but, regardless of designation, afterwards we always call this process RIFs.

[Jokingly, one executive said "I'm doing my part to make sure employment numbers are accurate, come election time."

Everyone in the meeting laughed. I smiled and pretended I got the joke. ]