News:

There's only a handful of you, and you're acting like obsessed lunatics.

I honestly wouldn't want to ever be washed up on the shore unconscious on an island run by you lot.

Main Menu

Man Convicted After Burger Rage (actual journalistic title)

Started by Signora Pæsior, September 05, 2012, 06:06:30 AM

Previous topic - Next topic
Print
Go Down Pages1 2
User actions

Signora Pæsior

September 05, 2012, 06:06:30 AM
This is possibly the best thing I have ever read. The part I've bolded caused me to spittake coca-cola all over my work computer. No regrets.

QuoteA trip to a fast-food outlet that resulted in burger rage has earned an Auckland man a year's supervision and community work.

When David Junior Ilolahia, 35, ordered three burgers from New Lynn restaurant Wendy's - including a "Baconator" burger without bacon - two thirds of his order was incorrect.

Rather than returning it and advising staff of their error, Ilolahia devoured the burgers, while a violent rage brewed inside him.

At the counter he launched a whopper of a tirade against staff, while store managers tried to pacify him, but his anger - at receiving a chicken burger instead of a fish burger - could not be tamed.

Scared for their safety, Wendy's staff locked themselves inside an office and called police.

They too could not get through to the meat-fuelled man.

Eventually pepper spray was used against Ilolahia but had little effect.

Two police constables joined the sergeant who was first on site as the struggle continued outside.

A taser was also used on Ilolahia before he was finally restrained and taken into custody.

The incident on February 13 left one of the police officers with numerous lacerations to his upper body and right leg and resulted in Ilolahia facing five charges including intentional damage for ripping the sergeant's shirt.

At the Auckland District Court today Judge David Wilson agreed with defence counsel Eb Leary's analysis of the events as "bizarre" and said Ilolahia would benefit from alcohol counselling and attending a programme to address his "short fuse".

Leary described his client as a "workaholic" and said the fact he had been off work as a driver for a month because of an injury had caused him severe stress.

His father's recent death had also had a profound effect on him and he was now living with his widowed mother as the sole bread winner, Leary said.

Judge Wilson said the violent outburst was all the more peculiar because Ilolahia attended the Latter Day Saints church in Blockhouse Bay and previously seemed like someone of good character.

He was sentenced to a year's supervision, 60 hours community work and ordered to pay $50 for the damaged police shirt.

Leary said his client had apologised to Wendy's.

http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/crime/7618502/Auckland-man-convicted-after-burger-rage

This is, sadly, actually quite impressive journalism for New Zealand.
Petrochemical Pheremone Buzzard of the Poisoned Water Hole

hooplala

#1
September 05, 2012, 06:24:23 AM
In his defense... chicken burgers ARE offensive.
"Soon all of us will have special names" — Professor Brian O'Blivion

"Now's not the time to get silly, so wear your big boots and jump on the garbage clowns." — Bob Dylan?

"Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)" — Walt Whitman

Anna Mae Bollocks

#2
September 05, 2012, 07:05:09 AM
Quote from: Signora Paesior on September 05, 2012, 06:06:30 AM
This is possibly the best thing I have ever read. The part I've bolded caused me to spittake coca-cola all over my work computer. No regrets.

QuoteJudge Wilson said the violent outburst was all the more peculiar because Ilolahia attended the Latter Day Saints church in Blockhouse Bay and previously seemed like someone of good character.

.

http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/crime/7618502/Auckland-man-convicted-after-burger-rage

This is, sadly, actually quite impressive journalism for New Zealand.

Romney rage. I'm surprised he didn't cut anybody's hair.  :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Murmur

#3
September 05, 2012, 08:04:21 AM
"he launched a WHOPPER of a tirade..."

:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Tolerable Terror for Toddlers Legionaire, Nixon Division™

"Onlookers will be horrified and amazed by the sheer volume of fluid."--TGRR

"SaraLee, I say unto you!  If ye have a cake and halve it, and then halve it yet again, you would have four quarters and yet still not have a dollar.  Eat of that cake, for it is cake which is NOT cake, which ye may have half a mind to have at a reasonable price, yet in indecision achieve satori with said stale Moon Pie.  That's what you get when YOU FUCK WITH US." - DOUR

Signora Pæsior

#4
September 05, 2012, 08:08:30 AM
Quote from: Murmur on September 05, 2012, 08:04:21 AM
"he launched a WHOPPER of a tirade..."

:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:

THAT IS OUR JOURNALISTIC STANDARD.

FFS, STUFF, WENDY'S IS NOT BURGER KING.
Petrochemical Pheremone Buzzard of the Poisoned Water Hole

The Good Reverend Roger

#5
September 05, 2012, 02:05:46 PM
CRUSH DEPTH ACHIEVED.

Fire up the next human, repeat trial.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

hooplala

#6
September 05, 2012, 02:23:10 PM
It's not as amusing to me as "Twinkie rage", but still pretty good.
"Soon all of us will have special names" — Professor Brian O'Blivion

"Now's not the time to get silly, so wear your big boots and jump on the garbage clowns." — Bob Dylan?

"Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)" — Walt Whitman

The Good Reverend Roger

#7
September 05, 2012, 02:26:38 PM
Quote from: Hoopla on September 05, 2012, 02:23:10 PM
It's not as amusing to me as "Twinkie rage", but still pretty good.

It sounds more like he was having a really, really bad month.  I'm not finding this very humorous.  I mean, there's a giggle factor, but it's not the amused kind of giggle.  No.  It's the other kind.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

hooplala

#8
September 05, 2012, 02:30:56 PM
If he hadn't eaten them all before raging out, I'd probably have more sympathy.  Something about him scarfing them down and THEN flipping out rubs me the wrong way.
"Soon all of us will have special names" — Professor Brian O'Blivion

"Now's not the time to get silly, so wear your big boots and jump on the garbage clowns." — Bob Dylan?

"Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)" — Walt Whitman

The Good Reverend Roger

#9
September 05, 2012, 02:32:58 PM
Quote from: Hoopla on September 05, 2012, 02:30:56 PM
If he hadn't eaten them all before raging out, I'd probably have more sympathy.  Something about him scarfing them down and THEN flipping out rubs me the wrong way.

If it was a scam, he'd have asked for his money back.  I think he sat there like a good little drone, chowing down, and while he was doing that, he passed below crush depth.

It can sneak up on you like that.  Even HE probably thought he was fine.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#10
September 05, 2012, 02:34:42 PM
We studied this shit in rats in 1962.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Behavioral_sink

Now we're studying it in humans.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Luna

#11
September 05, 2012, 02:41:59 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on September 05, 2012, 02:32:58 PM
Quote from: Hoopla on September 05, 2012, 02:30:56 PM
If he hadn't eaten them all before raging out, I'd probably have more sympathy.  Something about him scarfing them down and THEN flipping out rubs me the wrong way.

If it was a scam, he'd have asked for his money back.  I think he sat there like a good little drone, chowing down, and while he was doing that, he passed below crush depth.

It can sneak up on you like that.  Even HE probably thought he was fine.

Yeah, stress will do that shit to you.  You know you're stressed, but you're fine, until that ONE little thing hits the big red button and you're standing outside yourself, watching yourself do shit that you KNOW isn't right, isn't you, but you just can't seem to find the brake handle.

On really, really lucky days, you see it coming, and can just drop what you're holding and walk away.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

The Good Reverend Roger

#12
September 05, 2012, 02:52:13 PM
Quote from: Luna on September 05, 2012, 02:41:59 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on September 05, 2012, 02:32:58 PM
Quote from: Hoopla on September 05, 2012, 02:30:56 PM
If he hadn't eaten them all before raging out, I'd probably have more sympathy.  Something about him scarfing them down and THEN flipping out rubs me the wrong way.

If it was a scam, he'd have asked for his money back.  I think he sat there like a good little drone, chowing down, and while he was doing that, he passed below crush depth.

It can sneak up on you like that.  Even HE probably thought he was fine.

Yeah, stress will do that shit to you.  You know you're stressed, but you're fine, until that ONE little thing hits the big red button and you're standing outside yourself, watching yourself do shit that you KNOW isn't right, isn't you, but you just can't seem to find the brake handle.

On really, really lucky days, you see it coming, and can just drop what you're holding and walk away.

I'm glad he just got a slap on the wrist.  I wish they'd included some kind of counseling.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Cain

#13
September 05, 2012, 03:17:33 PM
Quote from: Hoopla on September 05, 2012, 02:30:56 PM
If he hadn't eaten them all before raging out, I'd probably have more sympathy.  Something about him scarfing them down and THEN flipping out rubs me the wrong way.

I tend to agree, but I get the impression this is the kind of guy whose rage just kept on growing with each bite until it boiled over and he flipped the fuck out.

Lesson for the kids: flip the fuck out at the first possible instance.

LMNO

#14
September 05, 2012, 03:38:48 PM
Quote from: Cain on September 05, 2012, 03:17:33 PM
Lesson for the kids: flip the fuck out at the first possible instance.

Print
Go Up Pages1 2
User actions