How most men, even good caring men, have no clue what women go through

[Juana]

Fassbender doesn't do much for me, I'm afraid.

I think a reasonably good looking person would have more experience with social interaction than, say, a 400 lb. basement dweller, but that doesn't mean they learned anything from it.

A reasonably good looking person has less NEED of social skills than an ugly person.

Mostly because people are willing to cut them more slack.

This is true, although I don't think most people are consciously making that decision.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

It's a good rule of thumb, although if the other person initiates conversation, the dude is good to go as long as he doesn't try to steer the conversation into a place to talk her personal information (or whether or not she's got a partner) out of her.

The "thumbscrews interview" is the hallmark of a creep:

"What do you do?" (Most desired response: "I hustle"  )

"Are you married/got a boyfriend?" (Stock response: "Yes", even if you don't. Then they start with "What kind of man lets his woman ride the bus If you were with me, blah blah...")

At the first sign of grilling, tell them to FUCK OFF.

[tyrannosaurus vex]

I don't know. I have known people, men and women, who are pretty good-looking at first, but if their attitudes and behavior shows them to be jackasses they begin to look uglier and uglier to me, usually to the point where I wonder why I though they looked good in the first place. The reverse is true for people who are less attractive at first but show themselves to be decent bipeds.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

I don't know. I have known people, men and women, who are pretty good-looking at first, but if their attitudes and behavior shows them to be jackasses they begin to look uglier and uglier to me, usually to the point where I wonder why I though they looked good in the first place. The reverse is true for people who are less attractive at first but show themselves to be decent bipeds.

Yeah, some of it's subjective like that.

[Juana]

^^^^ THAT. Paul Ryan is UGH because of his attitudes, not because of his face. Frogman is literally a basement dweller (he has no choice, as he's too ill to work) but is brilliant, funny, and a total charmer. He still doesn't do anything for me, but he's awesome.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Fassbender doesn't do much for me, I'm afraid.

I think a reasonably good looking person would have more experience with social interaction than, say, a 400 lb. basement dweller, but that doesn't mean they learned anything from it.

A reasonably good looking person has less NEED of social skills than an ugly person.

Mostly because people are willing to cut them more slack.

This is true, although I don't think most people are consciously making that decision.

Of course it's true.  There are very solid biological reasons that cause it, wired right into the back of your own brain.  HAR!  Even our own BRAINS are against us.  Anyway, it bears examination.

I have been known to talk to people in airports, on trains, etc (NEVER ON A BUS.  YOU CAN'T GET AWAY WHEN THEY START TALKING ABOUT THEIR PETS/POLITICAL VIEWS, ETC).  I have never really had a problem with it, because A)  I tend to strike up conversations with people that look as bored as I am (reading a book is NOT a sign of boredom), and B)  I'm not "looking", and that tends to show, I think.  I'm just bored and feeling sociable.

Note #1:  I am a big bald guy that looks like a heavy from a bad mobster flick.  This doesn't prevent friendly conversations.  Again, I'm really NOT "looking", so the cues that might set off alarm bells aren't there.

Note #2:  I never ask about them.  I comment on something that's going on.  And there's never any shortage of idiocy to comment on.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I don't know. I have known people, men and women, who are pretty good-looking at first, but if their attitudes and behavior shows them to be jackasses they begin to look uglier and uglier to me, usually to the point where I wonder why I though they looked good in the first place. The reverse is true for people who are less attractive at first but show themselves to be decent bipeds.

This.  Attractive people who are jackasses, well, their smallest defects get magnified in my eyes.  Ugly people who are nice tend to have their positive points noticed, or I simply stop paying attention to their looks.

[Faust]

For context, Michael Fassbender:





LMNO
-BOYS BOYS BOYS.

He's gorgeous. He grew up the next town over from me.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

^^^^ THAT. Paul Ryan is UGH because of his attitudes, not because of his face. Frogman is literally a basement dweller (he has no choice, as he's too ill to work) but is brilliant, funny, and a total charmer. He still doesn't do anything for me, but he's awesome.

I tend not to be attracted to commercial-looking ken-doll men, anyway. I look for signs of fellow mutants, not hair that won't move in a 40-knot wind. 

Fassbender doesn't do much for me, I'm afraid.

I think a reasonably good looking person would have more experience with social interaction than, say, a 400 lb. basement dweller, but that doesn't mean they learned anything from it.

A reasonably good looking person has less NEED of social skills than an ugly person.

Mostly because people are willing to cut them more slack.

This is true, although I don't think most people are consciously making that decision.

Of course it's true.  There are very solid biological reasons that cause it, wired right into the back of your own brain.  HAR!  Even our own BRAINS are against us.  Anyway, it bears examination.

I have been known to talk to people in airports, on trains, etc (NEVER ON A BUS.  YOU CAN'T GET AWAY WHEN THEY START TALKING ABOUT THEIR PETS/POLITICAL VIEWS, ETC).  I have never really had a problem with it, because A)  I tend to strike up conversations with people that look as bored as I am (reading a book is NOT a sign of boredom), and B)  I'm not "looking", and that tends to show, I think.  I'm just bored and feeling sociable.

Note #1:  I am a big bald guy that looks like a heavy from a bad mobster flick.  This doesn't prevent friendly conversations.  Again, I'm really NOT "looking", so the cues that might set off alarm bells aren't there.

Note #2:  I never ask about them.  I comment on something that's going on.  And there's never any shortage of idiocy to comment on.

THIS.

People are wary on public transportation BECAUSE it's a place traditionally frequented by creeps. They've tightened security at bus stations now, but I can remember walking into them and getting swarmed by would-be pimps asking me if I liked "pretty diamond rings" or showing me some grubby snot goober that they claimed was hashish.

Talking to someone LIKE A PERSON is usually welcome and helps make the time go by.  People without agendas rock.

[Cain]

Halo Effect ITT.

Things are always considered less bad when an attractive person does them.  That's why Hitler gets so much more stick than Stalin, Hitler was creepy and had a stupid moustache, whereas the Younger Stalin was kinda attactive, in a sort of hipster way.

"I'm reading this really obscure guy called Karl Marx.  He's very underground, most people haven't heard of him."
\

[LMNO]

I found a can of gasoline.

http://jezebel.com/5941068/im-a-porn-star-and-if-you-harass-me-i-will-punch-you-in-the-balls

Men have followed me down the street poking me in what one can only assume is an attempt to get my attention. Men have grabbed the cord to my headphones and ripped them out of my ears. Multiple times.
...
They say I have a sweet ass, nice tits, a real pretty dress. They say I'm their future wife, or I'd look good with their dick in my mouth. They try (and probably succeed at times) to take pictures down my shirt. They ask if they can get my number, they ask where I live, why I'm not smiling, why my boyfriend lets me walk around by myself. Then they ask why I'm such a bitch, if my pussy is made of ice. They say that they never do this, as though I've somehow driven them to inappropriate behavior and deserve it. They say they're just having fun, trying to pay me a compliment. Pretty frequently they get mean, slipping into a loud tourettes — like chant of bitch-whore-cunt-slut.
...
Before you try to tell me that it's because I take my clothes off for a living, let me tell you that this started way before I was 18. Let me tell you that every single woman I know has at least one truly terrifying story of street harassment and a whole bunch of other stories that are merely insulting or annoying. Let me remind you that in a room of pornography fans, who have actually seen me with a dick in my mouth and who can buy a replica of my vagina in a can or box, I am treated with far more respect than I am walking down the street.
...
There are things that can be done. When someone you know engages in inappropriate or harassing behavior towards a woman, let them know they did something totally not cool. Like: "Actually, that woman had a right to be upset when you chased her down the street. She was completely accurate when she called it creepy" or "Hey, this story you're telling me about putting your dick on a drunk stranger's face at a party when she clearly didn't want it there but was too sleepy to fend you off, that was a totally not cool thing to do with your penis, bro." Teach every moldable male* mind (brothers, friends, sons) that treating women (humans) with respect is the right thing to do. Don't have sex with jerks. Don't blow them, don't give them a handjob, don't give them your phone number. If you hear a woman asking a man to leave her alone or calling attention to the fact that he's whacking off in the train station, add your voice to hers. Say "This is not ok. This is not cool. We see what you are doing and it is unacceptable."

WHEEEEEEE!

[Don Coyote]

^^^^ THAT. Paul Ryan is UGH because of his attitudes, not because of his face. Frogman is literally a basement dweller (he has no choice, as he's too ill to work) but is brilliant, funny, and a total charmer. He still doesn't do anything for me, but he's awesome.

2 HOURS WASTED!!!!

[Juana]

I thought we'd all agreed in some thread before that helping out, so long as there isn't any white knighting*, is good.


*She's got it under control. If something is said to harasser afterward, though, like "that was an asshole move", I think that's a good idea.

^^^^ THAT. Paul Ryan is UGH because of his attitudes, not because of his face. Frogman is literally a basement dweller (he has no choice, as he's too ill to work) but is brilliant, funny, and a total charmer. He still doesn't do anything for me, but he's awesome.

2 HOURS WASTED!!!!

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

I found a can of gasoline.

http://jezebel.com/5941068/im-a-porn-star-and-if-you-harass-me-i-will-punch-you-in-the-balls

Men have followed me down the street poking me in what one can only assume is an attempt to get my attention. Men have grabbed the cord to my headphones and ripped them out of my ears. Multiple times.
...
They say I have a sweet ass, nice tits, a real pretty dress. They say I'm their future wife, or I'd look good with their dick in my mouth. They try (and probably succeed at times) to take pictures down my shirt. They ask if they can get my number, they ask where I live, why I'm not smiling, why my boyfriend lets me walk around by myself. Then they ask why I'm such a bitch, if my pussy is made of ice. They say that they never do this, as though I've somehow driven them to inappropriate behavior and deserve it. They say they're just having fun, trying to pay me a compliment. Pretty frequently they get mean, slipping into a loud tourettes — like chant of bitch-whore-cunt-slut.
...
Before you try to tell me that it's because I take my clothes off for a living, let me tell you that this started way before I was 18. Let me tell you that every single woman I know has at least one truly terrifying story of street harassment and a whole bunch of other stories that are merely insulting or annoying. Let me remind you that in a room of pornography fans, who have actually seen me with a dick in my mouth and who can buy a replica of my vagina in a can or box, I am treated with far more respect than I am walking down the street.
...
There are things that can be done. When someone you know engages in inappropriate or harassing behavior towards a woman, let them know they did something totally not cool. Like: "Actually, that woman had a right to be upset when you chased her down the street. She was completely accurate when she called it creepy" or "Hey, this story you're telling me about putting your dick on a drunk stranger's face at a party when she clearly didn't want it there but was too sleepy to fend you off, that was a totally not cool thing to do with your penis, bro." Teach every moldable male* mind (brothers, friends, sons) that treating women (humans) with respect is the right thing to do. Don't have sex with jerks. Don't blow them, don't give them a handjob, don't give them your phone number. If you hear a woman asking a man to leave her alone or calling attention to the fact that he's whacking off in the train station, add your voice to hers. Say "This is not ok. This is not cool. We see what you are doing and it is unacceptable."

WHEEEEEEE!

I like her.

Because I've actually heard people SAY things like "you can't rape a whore". 

[Juana]

"That's just theft!"