Discordianism and PD: A Primer for New Folks

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Trying to describe Discordianism in general, or PD.com in particular, is sort of difficult...If you ask 9 Discordians what it's all about, you'll get 10 answers, and possible a riot.  The reason for this is that Discordia is different for everyone.

The common theme among Discordians is "learning to see the world the way it is, not the way we'd like it to be".  Most people see what they're TOLD to see.  This makes us look strange to outsiders, as there is no common frame of reference.  The success we enjoy at seeing things how they really are varies wildly from person to person, and even in the same person from day to day, as Discordians are just as likely to fall into traps as anyone else...For example:

Rationalism leads to atheism, as the Discordian forgets that absence of evidence does not imply evidence of absence.

or

Introspection leads to mysticism, as entirely new concepts may seem like some weird form of magic, etc, and because introspection carried far enough leads to breathing your own farts, causing brain damage.

Or

Ivory tower thinking leads to libertarianism or similar fuck ups, as ideas that are perfectly rational as ideas are mistaken for ideas that are perfectly rational as behavior for large numbers of humans.

Another thing that may put off the newcomer is the fact that we don't seem to have the same values as other people.  This is for the most part correct.  We aren't nationalists, as nations are a social fiction.  We aren't patriots, because that requires believing in things that just aren't so (ie, nations).  We aren't democrat or socialist, conservative or tory, liberal or conservative, or any of the other false distinctions that humans use to put people in tidy little boxes.

The values we have are more closely associated with the values that most people THINK they have...Personal liberty under the rule of law, Or Kill Me, I Will Kill a Motherfucker, and getting cheap laughs at horrible things that most people won't even bring up in conversation.  We also value the individual but not necessarily the person, and we value knowledge.

We value trolling, but only when it's done in an original and funny way.  This is not /b/.  Nor is it The Church of the Subgenius, though we value many of their ideas, damned souls though they may be.

Most importantly, we value Saturday Night...And if I have to explain that to you, then you're too far gone to follow me.

Anyway, that's my personal take on it.  Most Discordians will probably disagree with that, but that's because they have brain damage from too many forced handjobs.  So shut up.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Feel free to add to this shit.  Even though you're WRONG.

[Chaser]

Appreciate this shit.

I can't actually read this now because it's 2am and my brain's fried, but that neat little "new replies to your posts" mod will bookmark it for me in the morning. Wish vB had that feature, it's so cash.

I just want the 73 virgins I was promised on the news bulletin thingy and I'll be on my way.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Appreciate this shit.

I can't actually read this now because it's 2am and my brain's fried, but that neat little "new replies to your posts" mod will bookmark it for me in the morning. Wish vB had that feature, it's so cash.

I just want the 73 virgins I was promised on the news bulletin thingy and I'll be on my way.

Let me get this straight...You want 73 people that managed to get through their entire life without being able to get laid?

Well, okay, have it your way.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I like this... I think I'll have my own bits to add to it later.

[LMNO]

Discordianism is a tool which helps locate the ways and means people can be shits to each other, and offers possible ways to fix the problem.  Because this is really hard to do, and because our existence is absurd, there is a healthy dose of humor (gallows or otherwise) injected into it.

The main problem in identifying shitty behavior is one of the main proponents for it: humans have a hard time smelling their own shit.  It's much easier to recognize it in other people.  This is the reason why many people who call themselves Discordian act more like shits than bipeds.

What's worse, you don't become a biped just because you recognize shitty behavior in yourself.  And once you act like a biped, that doesn't mean you'll never be a shit.  In fact, it almost guarantees you'll be a shit in the next 23 minutes (UCwhutIdidTHAR?).

PD.com is full of shits.  And it's full of bipeds.  And it's full of shits calling each other shits.  And it's full of shits trying to become bipeds.  Ad nauseum.  In short, it's a really shitty place.  But to quote Jules,


"But I'm trying, Ringo.  I'm trying really hard."
                 /

[The Dark Monk]

Derailments are also common practice.

Mitt Romney sucks he wants to cut Pell grants!

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Derailments are also common practice.

Mitt Romney sucks he wants to cut Pell grants!

Oh, fuck off.

[LMNO]

This is the reason why many people who call themselves Discordian act more like shits than bipeds.

Derailments are also common practice.

Mitt Romney sucks he wants to cut Pell grants!

QED.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

This is the reason why many people who call themselves Discordian act more like shits than bipeds.

Derailments are also common practice.

Mitt Romney sucks he wants to cut Pell grants!

QED.

This has been an illustration of another problem some Discordians tend to develop...LOOK HOW WITTY I AM.  The Discordian is usually the weirdest person in the room, which give many of us a real boot.  But then the Discordian finds other Discordians, and is no longer the weirdest person in the room.  Withdrawl sets in, the Discordian begins to sweat and shake and claw at their arms...Then they snap like stale breadsticks and do shit like that in an attempt to regain their status, to get their fix.

[Richter]

Addendum to that:  Many new Discordians go through a stage of 23pinealspew rubbish spouting. 

If this is where you are while reading this, go off and do it somewhere else.  We will still be here when you're done.

Get the hot dog thing out of the way while you're gone too.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Addendum to that:  Many new Discordians go through a stage of 23pinealspew rubbish spouting. 

If this is where you are while reading this, go off and do it somewhere else.  We will still be here when you're done.

Get the hot dog thing out of the way while you're gone too.

I don't consider word salad to be Discordian.  I consider it to be a sign of brain damage, and the person doing it to be in need of a little "electroshock therapy" to be administered on the spot.

Not because it will help, because it won't, but because I like to see the reaction.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Discordianism: it pulls the tape off.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Discordianism: it pulls the tape off.

Sort of reminds me of my old "bad toupee" rant.   

[The Dark Monk]

Addendum to that:  Many new Discordians go through a stage of 23pinealspew rubbish spouting. 

If this is where you are while reading this, go off and do it somewhere else.  We will still be here when you're done.

Get the hot dog thing out of the way while you're gone too.

I don't consider word salad to be Discordian.  I consider it to be a sign of brain damage, and the person doing it to be in need of a little "electroshock therapy" to be administered on the spot.

Not because it will help, because it won't, but because I like to see the reaction.

Yeah Roger you're the greatest! You have all the ideas I do but say them first! You're so awesome!
Or the closely related:
FUCK YOU YOU NEVER HAVE GOOD IDEAS I NEVER LISTEN TO YOU ALL YOU DO IS SPOUT SHIT ROGER.
^^^^
Quotes like this towards people tends to get you in trouble. Keep an open mind and keep IN mind multiple points of view are the point. Blatantly doing the opposite of someone or hanging on to their every word to look cool will make you look like an ass.
(Used Roger simply because people tend to have the strongest feeling towards him when joining.)