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Can we talk about me now? (Open bar thread #3,494)

Started by Juana, October 04, 2012, 04:31:11 PM

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Mesozoic Mister Nigel

I went out this evening briefly, and I am really happy to report that even though this forced inactivity is totally making me fat and I'm still leaking bloody fluid out a hole in my belly, I still look good in a sweater-dress.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Dildo Argentino

Yesterday evening the chicken-supplier turned up. So I spatchcocked six chickens. Dog was very happy with her six little friends (the heads). Very briefly.
Not too keen on rigor, myself - reminds me of mortis

The Good Reverend Roger

How come, in a town with 38% real unemployment, can I not GET and KEEP decent technicians?  One of my electricians was sent to a conference in Jacksonville, alongside 3 other employees.  He decided, while in Florida, to vent all of his pent up opinions about BLAQUE PEOPLES and HISPANICS and FATASSES. 

One of the guys he was travelling with is Hispanic.  The lady he is traveling with (who is a real sweetheart, and who fixes everyone's payroll problems) has fought - unsuccessfully - a thyroid problem that has resisted treatment since she was a kid.  The OTHER guy gets told by MY guy that everyone in the plant hates him (untrue).  Not only did he suck all the fun out of the trip, he also violated our code of conduct, company policy, and ethics standards more often than we can count.

Yeah.  He's toast.

My crew is shrinking, I'm relying on outside contractors (one of whom I fired this morning for coming in smelling like a brewery), and it's all turning into a giant puddle of shit.

I hate this fucking place.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Luna

Urgh, that sucks.

I ADORE it when people bitch that they don't have a job... when I know for a fact that they a) haven't bothered actually LOOKING, b) have turned down jobs for which they are perfectly capable, but can't be arsed to do because they'd rather fuck around and bitch about being unemployed and broke, or c) have been fired from multiple jobs because they have fucked up repeatedly, often in exactly the same way multiple times.

After working in HR/payroll, I've seen WHY too many people are unemployed... it's because they fucking choose to be unemployable.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Luna on October 14, 2012, 05:10:37 PM
Urgh, that sucks.

I ADORE it when people bitch that they don't have a job... when I know for a fact that they a) haven't bothered actually LOOKING, b) have turned down jobs for which they are perfectly capable, but can't be arsed to do because they'd rather fuck around and bitch about being unemployed and broke, or c) have been fired from multiple jobs because they have fucked up repeatedly, often in exactly the same way multiple times.

After working in HR/payroll, I've seen WHY too many people are unemployed... it's because they fucking choose to be unemployable.

Too many, but not all.

Hell, if we ALL got EVERYTHING WE DESERVED, then NOBODY would have a job.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Anna Mae Bollocks

Quote from: Man Yellow on October 14, 2012, 04:53:16 PM
How come, in a town with 38% real unemployment, can I not GET and KEEP decent technicians?  One of my electricians was sent to a conference in Jacksonville, alongside 3 other employees.  He decided, while in Florida, to vent all of his pent up opinions about BLAQUE PEOPLES and HISPANICS and FATASSES. 

One of the guys he was travelling with is Hispanic.  The lady he is traveling with (who is a real sweetheart, and who fixes everyone's payroll problems) has fought - unsuccessfully - a thyroid problem that has resisted treatment since she was a kid.  The OTHER guy gets told by MY guy that everyone in the plant hates him (untrue).  Not only did he suck all the fun out of the trip, he also violated our code of conduct, company policy, and ethics standards more often than we can count.

Yeah.  He's toast.

My crew is shrinking, I'm relying on outside contractors (one of whom I fired this morning for coming in smelling like a brewery), and it's all turning into a giant puddle of shit.

I hate this fucking place.

This is AMERICA(TM).
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Luna

Quote from: Man Green on October 14, 2012, 06:30:47 AM
Quote from: Luna on October 14, 2012, 02:53:20 AM
New boyfriend is teaching me how to use guns.

I am told I am a frighteningly good shot for somebody who's never handled a pistol in her life.

Tomorrow, we put away the 22's and play with the 45's.

Fun!

My dad says that women are almost always better shots than men... he thinks it's because they're less likely to have ego wrapped up in their performance.

Aaand, it's raining.  :(  Like, pouring down buckets.  Outdoor range is not happening unless it cuts it the fuck out.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

Anna Mae Bollocks

Quote from: Man Green on October 14, 2012, 06:30:47 AM
Quote from: Luna on October 14, 2012, 02:53:20 AM
New boyfriend is teaching me how to use guns.

I am told I am a frighteningly good shot for somebody who's never handled a pistol in her life.

Tomorrow, we put away the 22's and play with the 45's.

Fun!

My dad says that women are almost always better shots than men... he thinks it's because they're less likely to have ego wrapped up in their performance.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Annie_Oakley

"Oakley's most famous trick is perhaps being able to repeatedly split a playing card, edge-on, and put several more holes in it before it could touch the ground, while using a .22 caliber rifle, at 90 feet."

"Oakley had such good aim that, at his request, she knocked the ashes off a cigarette held by the newly crowned German Kaiser Wilhelm II."

"Throughout her career, it is believed that Oakley taught upwards of 15,000 women how to use a gun. Oakley believed strongly that it was crucial for women to learn how to use a gun, as not only a form of physical and mental exercise, but also to defend themselves. She said:"I would like to see every woman know how to handle [firearms] as naturally as they know how to handle babies."
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Juana

I love that gal. She's one of my favorite figures of the era.
"I dispose of obsolete meat machines.  Not because I hate them (I do) and not because they deserve it (they do), but because they are in the way and those older ones don't meet emissions codes.  They emit too much.  You don't like them and I don't like them, so spare me the hysteria."

Anna Mae Bollocks

Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Freeky

Quote from: Man Yellow on October 14, 2012, 04:53:16 PM
How come, in a town with 38% real unemployment, can I not GET and KEEP decent technicians?  One of my electricians was sent to a conference in Jacksonville, alongside 3 other employees.  He decided, while in Florida, to vent all of his pent up opinions about BLAQUE PEOPLES and HISPANICS and FATASSES. 

One of the guys he was travelling with is Hispanic.  The lady he is traveling with (who is a real sweetheart, and who fixes everyone's payroll problems) has fought - unsuccessfully - a thyroid problem that has resisted treatment since she was a kid.  The OTHER guy gets told by MY guy that everyone in the plant hates him (untrue).  Not only did he suck all the fun out of the trip, he also violated our code of conduct, company policy, and ethics standards more often than we can count.

Yeah.  He's toast.

My crew is shrinking, I'm relying on outside contractors (one of whom I fired this morning for coming in smelling like a brewery), and it's all turning into a giant puddle of shit.

I hate this fucking place.


That's so shitty. I'm sorry.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: Luna on October 14, 2012, 05:10:37 PM
Urgh, that sucks.

I ADORE it when people bitch that they don't have a job... when I know for a fact that they a) haven't bothered actually LOOKING, b) have turned down jobs for which they are perfectly capable, but can't be arsed to do because they'd rather fuck around and bitch about being unemployed and broke, or c) have been fired from multiple jobs because they have fucked up repeatedly, often in exactly the same way multiple times.

After working in HR/payroll, I've seen WHY too many people are unemployed... it's because they fucking choose to be unemployable.

MY FORMER HOUSEMATE.

Yeah, the one who called me fat and lazy. She hadn't had a job in I don't know how long, was only taking 8 credits a term, no kids, spent a shit ton of money on new tattoos (including one on her neck that says "I PLAN ON NEVER BEING EMPLOYED") and was all self-righteously pissed at the financial aid office for "screwing her over" because "they didn't put her down for work study", making her ineligible for food stamps. Having filled out the FAFSA myself a few times, I am perfectly aware that work study is something you check off your own fucking self. She never actually applied for jobs, instead convincing herself that looking at want ads is somehow the same thing as "looking for a job".

News flash: looking at want ads is "looking for a job" in exactly the same way that watching other people work is "working".

She once told me that she's been fired from every job she's ever had, and shortly thereafter asked me to recommend her to a friend who was hiring.
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Anna Mae Bollocks

Quote from: Man Green on October 14, 2012, 10:58:01 PM
Quote from: Luna on October 14, 2012, 05:10:37 PM
Urgh, that sucks.

I ADORE it when people bitch that they don't have a job... when I know for a fact that they a) haven't bothered actually LOOKING, b) have turned down jobs for which they are perfectly capable, but can't be arsed to do because they'd rather fuck around and bitch about being unemployed and broke, or c) have been fired from multiple jobs because they have fucked up repeatedly, often in exactly the same way multiple times.

After working in HR/payroll, I've seen WHY too many people are unemployed... it's because they fucking choose to be unemployable.

MY FORMER HOUSEMATE.

Yeah, the one who called me fat and lazy. She hadn't had a job in I don't know how long, was only taking 8 credits a term, no kids, spent a shit ton of money on new tattoos (including one on her neck that says "I PLAN ON NEVER BEING EMPLOYED") and was all self-righteously pissed at the financial aid office for "screwing her over" because "they didn't put her down for work study", making her ineligible for food stamps. Having filled out the FAFSA myself a few times, I am perfectly aware that work study is something you check off your own fucking self. She never actually applied for jobs, instead convincing herself that looking at want ads is somehow the same thing as "looking for a job".

News flash: looking at want ads is "looking for a job" in exactly the same way that watching other people work is "working".

She once told me that she's been fired from every job she's ever had, and shortly thereafter asked me to recommend her to a friend who was hiring.
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:

I have to ask: How in the name of FUCK did you end up with a housemate like that?
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Juana

"I dispose of obsolete meat machines.  Not because I hate them (I do) and not because they deserve it (they do), but because they are in the way and those older ones don't meet emissions codes.  They emit too much.  You don't like them and I don't like them, so spare me the hysteria."

Luna

Quote from: Man Green on October 14, 2012, 10:58:01 PM
Quote from: Luna on October 14, 2012, 05:10:37 PM
Urgh, that sucks.

I ADORE it when people bitch that they don't have a job... when I know for a fact that they a) haven't bothered actually LOOKING, b) have turned down jobs for which they are perfectly capable, but can't be arsed to do because they'd rather fuck around and bitch about being unemployed and broke, or c) have been fired from multiple jobs because they have fucked up repeatedly, often in exactly the same way multiple times.

After working in HR/payroll, I've seen WHY too many people are unemployed... it's because they fucking choose to be unemployable.

MY FORMER HOUSEMATE.

Yeah, the one who called me fat and lazy. She hadn't had a job in I don't know how long, was only taking 8 credits a term, no kids, spent a shit ton of money on new tattoos (including one on her neck that says "I PLAN ON NEVER BEING EMPLOYED") and was all self-righteously pissed at the financial aid office for "screwing her over" because "they didn't put her down for work study", making her ineligible for food stamps. Having filled out the FAFSA myself a few times, I am perfectly aware that work study is something you check off your own fucking self. She never actually applied for jobs, instead convincing herself that looking at want ads is somehow the same thing as "looking for a job".

News flash: looking at want ads is "looking for a job" in exactly the same way that watching other people work is "working".

She once told me that she's been fired from every job she's ever had, and shortly thereafter asked me to recommend her to a friend who was hiring.
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:

The most amazing part, here, folks, is that Nigel let her LIVE*.






*As far as we know, anyway.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."