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DOO BEE DOO BEE DOOOOOOOOOOO

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, October 06, 2012, 09:41:32 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

#15
October 08, 2012, 04:46:09 PM
Quote from: East Coast Hustle on October 08, 2012, 03:50:41 PM
you didn't "decide" anything. You took one look at my monstrous cranium and realized it would just break all of your toes if you tried to kick it around.

It's more that the special chemical-resistant boots would cost too much.  And regular clown shoes won't protect us from that shit you use for hair gel.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

East Coast Hustle

#16
October 08, 2012, 05:03:46 PM
I don't use hair gel. That's just how my hair grows.
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

The Good Reverend Roger

#17
October 08, 2012, 05:06:06 PM
Quote from: East Coast Hustle on October 08, 2012, 05:03:46 PM
I don't use hair gel. That's just how my hair grows.

We've been on to you for some time, ECH.  We know you're bald as an egg, and have an alien life form riding on your dome that makes you say horrible things.

Help is on the way.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

East Coast Hustle

#18
October 08, 2012, 05:08:22 PM
YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE, COPPER!

Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

The Good Reverend Roger

#19
October 08, 2012, 05:13:02 PM
Quote from: East Coast Hustle on October 08, 2012, 05:08:22 PM
YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE, COPPER!

That was the plan.  We're gonna throw Enki at your hair, and while it's occupied with HIS hair, we're gonna accidentally General Westmoreland/Curtiss LeMay the entire region.  Even if we don't get YOU - which is 20% at BEST, we'll at least have blown Enki into next week, and that gives us seven days of non-creepy and/or inexplicable fun in the pics thread.  Hell, IRC might even revive, though I doubt that.

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

LMNO

#20
October 08, 2012, 05:19:28 PM
Interestingly enough, I logged into IRC last week.  It was spooky.

The Good Reverend Roger

#21
October 08, 2012, 05:20:42 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on October 08, 2012, 05:19:28 PM
Interestingly enough, I logged into IRC last week.  It was spooky.

Zombieville.  26 users, nobody's posted in months.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#22
October 08, 2012, 05:37:59 PM
You have to wear sunglasses, a gas mask, and lead BVDs to protect your goodies, because that's the kind of energy ECH is emitting all the time.  It's a powerful thing.  Why do you think you always see his hair standing on end?  Its a whole OTHER kind of infernal combustion, I'm telling ya!  One fool got MAD at ECH because he wouldn't reveal his PHONE number!  What an idiot, all you ever get is that weird answering machine thing that honks at you, and no callbacks anyway!  The one time I think I was actually talking with ECH himself, all the cash disappeared from my wallet, my bank card had been wiped and my butt was sore for a week. Nigel claims that was the Portland Jesus, but I don't think so. Portland Jesus smells like old Three's Company episodes, ozone, patchouli, bicycle seat leather, and PBR; ECH smells like ECH.  Portland Jesus prefers girls; ECH will screw the GROUND in a pinch.  No comparison.  How could there be?  We're only whatever we are; how could we hope to match up with a guy who can get the very EARTH pregnant?

Wake up, America!  Stop out ECHism TODAY...Before there's titans and shit running all over the place with their knees bent.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#23
October 08, 2012, 05:51:21 PM
I've since realized I got off light.  Some poor souls either wind up scuttling around like lobsters for the rest of their lives, and I mean those who weren't ALREADY scuttling around like lobsters, or worse yet, end up in a canister in a Church basement somewhere in Maine. ECH says only souls are in them, but I think that in a few extreme cases, its the entire corporeal person.  I have a really suspicious ashtray that ECH SAID was cast from resin, but I think it might be Hugh's skull.  Triple Zero came close to being encanted that way early on, but then he handed over $1000 cash, passed his piss test and thus saved himself.  So can you; just fork over the dough.  Besides, if ECH actually talks to you in person before you've been properly "seasoned" by the ritual beatings, your head will do a "Lost Ark" meltdown, which would lessen your earning potential considerably.  ECH therefore doesn't do face-to-face often because he doesn't want to damage his capital base.  So shut the hell up and enjoy your soma.  Starving children in Virginia would be GLAD to have that shit.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#24
October 08, 2012, 05:53:19 PM
You just shouldn't trifle with a man who created a very efficient little Crisco pump that, on demand, will allow the soles of his shoes to exude a steady layer of it just perfect for skateboarding hijinks without ruining the trim lines of his torquoise Italian loafers.  No, its hard to figure a guy who'd leave a trail of goo behind him ON PURPOSE, sell the design on late-night TV and STILL not wind up in court for all the broken limbs and hips people got from slipping in the slime trails.  And yet he sent an aloe vera cactus to every single such broke-boned victim of his most recent success.  Hey, that's just the kind of thoughtful guy ECH is.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#25
October 08, 2012, 05:57:00 PM
While it can help you to be on ECH's good side, there's no guarantee.  He has so many sides, it makes the Wheel of Fortune look like a Mexican finger puzzle.  Sometimes the most vile and pernicious Discordians receive the best of ECH's transmitted pheremones, while hard-working and dedicated Discordians who TRY to promote his good works end up with a pineapple enema.  Just as he gets laid  every time he fucks up, so too do his followers fall prey to the greatest/worst luck for no apparent reason.  ECH is like a pelican who should have no reason to fly, aerodynamically speaking, yet he flaps around getting all the best fish and crapping wherever he pleases.  When somebody manages to get his attention long enough to point out that he can't really fly, being of that laughable shape, he just looks down, laughs and says, "Then how the fuck am I doing THIS?" and lets loose a stream of shit that peels paint from cars within a 50-foot radius of your insolence.  That's one hell of a comeback for yer ass, ain't it?  ECH is nothing if not the master of rebuttal.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#26
October 08, 2012, 06:00:13 PM
And the ultimate beauty of it is, that ECH guano sells for more on the open market than PLATINUM.  You just squirt a little on the garden and WHOA-HO-HO, its TRIFFID time!  I got an ear of corn 3 feet LONG that way!  Drop a seed on ECH-enriched soil and jump back, because that sucker is going to sprout so fast, you could get a knockout punch to the jaw when that first bud shoots up from the ground.  Its kind of like a reverse game of 'Grunties,' the semi-popular, clench-coins-with-your-ass British pub game.  So there's shit and then there's SHIT and with ECH the buffet will ALWAYS include BOTH kinds.  The trick is to pay ECH enough to buy one of those nice anti-ECH Shit slickers that will repel the bad ones while allowing the good ones to fill up the generous pockets.  I don't know why it comes with a strap-on dildo, but who am I to question the world's most enigmatic and BEST DANCING "man"?  GROW BETTER WEED...USE ONLY GENUINE, CERTIFIED ECH POOP.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

East Coast Hustle

#27
October 08, 2012, 06:11:19 PM
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:

Favorite testimonial ever. Best part is that this:

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 08, 2012, 05:57:00 PMECH is like a pelican who should have no reason to fly, aerodynamically speaking, yet he flaps around getting all the best fish and crapping wherever he pleases.  When somebody manages to get his attention long enough to point out that he can't really fly, being of that laughable shape, he just looks down, laughs and says, "Then how the fuck am I doing THIS?" and lets loose a stream of shit that peels paint from cars within a 50-foot radius of your insolence.  That's one hell of a comeback for yer ass, ain't it?  ECH is nothing if not the master of rebuttal.


is actually just about the most perfect analogy for my life I've ever heard.
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

The Good Reverend Roger

#28
October 08, 2012, 06:20:38 PM
Quote from: East Coast Hustle on October 08, 2012, 06:11:19 PM
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:

Favorite testimonial ever. Best part is that this:

I need to hit the rest of the old-timers as well, I think. 
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Internet Jesus

#29
October 08, 2012, 09:22:00 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 08, 2012, 03:01:04 PM
Quote from: Internet Jesus on October 08, 2012, 02:54:56 PM

And that's leaving aside the apparent blind obedience to "rules" from a bunch of discordians that I don't even know where to begin addressing......

Chaos includes both order and disorder, and the ONE rule we have is DON'T GET CAUGHT.

We're like the Spartans, only we decided not to use ECH's head as a football.

Ok, I can see the distinction you're making here, and it makes sense, but still, SFW?  We're Nation of people who love shortcuts.  We invented a machine to prepare our food quicker because we don't like having to take too much time seeing to our basic needs.

There's only one rule in American society that can't be avoided and that money talks.  And that's just systemic.  If we could find a way around that one without crashing the system, we'd do it. In a heartbeat.
HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS!
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