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So, my cousin mass emails everyone in the family about a birth in the family.

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, October 09, 2012, 08:14:43 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

October 09, 2012, 08:14:43 PM
Her sister had a kid, like I'm supposed to be excited about this.  I asked her "so what?", and she got all bent out of shape and said "You should WANT to hear about births in the family, and other good news, or should we never tell you anything unless someone dies?"

My response:

Dear Linda,

You see, THERE'S WHERE WE DIFFER.  I don't consider the information that your genetic code is being perpetuated to be good news.  I think it's unfortunate and depressing.  Frankly I am APPALLED at the degree to which your family, and humanity in general, continues to blindly spawn.  When someone I know (or knew many years ago) dies, that's not an emergency because then you never have to do anything for them again.  And that's good news.

I had to spend what should have been the happiest part of my life with people who didn't seem to care much for me, going to their stinky homes to eat unpleasant meals with them, and I had to pretend to like it and them.  I don't have to pretend anymore, since The Terrible Old man died, and there's no FUN left in it.  I don't have to try to like people who are strangers to me but who feel I am somehow obligated to them just because Papa got it at home one night late in 1968. This would include YOU.  My blood is VERY, VERY WATERY.  Our mutual cousin Cathy contacted me recently and I asked her to tell the family members she was in touch with that I wish they would just forget I exist.  I will be sincerely grateful to you if you can show me this same act of kindness.  I understand that I was included in your list by accident, and if it happens again I will just let it pass unnoticed.  I feel it is important that you know exactly what the situation is with me, so there will be no misunderstandings or false assumptions.  I didn't like having an extended family when I had no choice in the matter, and now that I do have a choice I choose not to have one.  All I want out of my extended family is that they didn't exist in the first place, but since that is impossible, to be forgotten by them is the next best thing. 

If for any reason anyone is fool enough to ask you "What's the deal with Roger?" feel free to send them this.

I sincerely wish you a most pleasant and enjoyable life.  Far away.

Love,
Roger

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

LMNO

#1
October 09, 2012, 08:16:48 PM
Not exactly an ideal childhood, I presume.

Freeky

#2
October 09, 2012, 08:19:11 PM
Not sure if  :lulz: or  :? :eek: :lulz:

The Good Reverend Roger

#3
October 09, 2012, 08:21:50 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on October 09, 2012, 08:16:48 PM
Not exactly an ideal childhood, I presume.

The only part of my childhood that wasn't ideal was having to visit my extended family, all of which (except for the Terrible Old Man and my cousin Enrico1, sucked ass and should have all been swept out to sea.

They're just plain BAD PEOPLE.  Even the kids.  Especially the kids.



1  No shit.  I have a cousin Enrico who lives suspiciously close to Toronto.  He's not as fabulous as the real thing, though.  But he is a really nice guy.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

LMNO

#4
October 09, 2012, 08:24:58 PM
Ah.  Mrs LMNO has something similar.  Huge extened family, not a single redeeming feature among them.

The Good Reverend Roger

#5
October 09, 2012, 08:26:57 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on October 09, 2012, 08:24:58 PM
Ah.  Mrs LMNO has something similar.  Huge extened family, not a single redeeming feature among them.

I can't even stand my siblings.  SHE'S a racist, and HE'S a rabid republican.

So, yeah.  I have five living relatives that I don't hate.  My parents, my kids, and one cousin.  The rest of them can STAY up in Canada where they BELONG, and hopefully all get eaten by Eskimos or polar bears or whatnot.

Come to think of it, my siblings should go back there, too. 
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Anna Mae Bollocks

#6
October 09, 2012, 08:39:19 PM
My mom thinks Black people are cursed because they're the "sons of Hamm". So when you put your family on a rocket to Saturn or something, swing by and get her, too.
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Juana

#7
October 09, 2012, 08:43:01 PM
I got an email from my paternal grandmother titled "be proud to be white!" (three guesses about the contents). Can I put her and her husband on the rocket, too?
"I dispose of obsolete meat machines.  Not because I hate them (I do) and not because they deserve it (they do), but because they are in the way and those older ones don't meet emissions codes.  They emit too much.  You don't like them and I don't like them, so spare me the hysteria."

The Good Reverend Roger

#8
October 09, 2012, 08:45:07 PM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on October 09, 2012, 08:43:01 PM
I got an email from my paternal grandmother titled "be proud to be white!" (three guesses about the contents). Can I put her and her husband on the rocket, too?

Post that, would you?  I have an idea.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Juana

#9
October 09, 2012, 08:47:48 PM
Quote
Read this the whole way through and see if he is right or wrong.

.
Be Proud To Be White....

I have been wondering about why Whites are racists, and no other race is...




Michael Richards makes his point... And whether we like it or not, he is telling the truth.

Michael Richards, better known as Kramer from TVs Seinfeld, does make a good point.

This was his defense speech in court after making racial comments in his comedy act.

He makes some very interesting points...

Someone finally said it. How many are actually paying attention to this?

____

There are African Americans, Mexican Americans, Asian Americans, Arab Americans, etc.

And then there are just Americans. You pass me on the street and sneer in my direction.

You call me 'White boy', 'Cracker', 'Honkey', 'Whitey', 'Caveman'... And that's OK...

But when I call you, Nigger, Kike, Towel head, Sand-nigger, Camel Jockey, Beaner, Gook, or Chink ... You call me a racist.

You say that whites commit a lot of violence against you...
So why are the ghettos the most dangerous places to live?
You have the United Negro College Fund.

You have Martin Luther King Day.

You have Black History Month.

You have Cesar Chavez Day.

You have Yom Hashoah.

You have Ma'uled Al-Nabi.

You have the NAACP.

You have BET...

If we had WET (White Entertainment Television), we'd be racists.

If we had a White Pride Day, you would call us racists.

If we had White History Month, we'd be racists.

If we had any organization for only whites to 'advance' OUR lives, we'd be racists.

We have a Hispanic Chamber of Commerce, a Black Chamber of Commerce, and then we just have the plain Chamber of Commerce.

Wonder who pays for that??

A white woman could not be in the Miss Black American pageant, but any color can be in the Miss America pageant.

If we had a college fund that only gave white students scholarships... You know we'd be racists.

There are over 60 openly proclaimed Black Colleges in the US ... Yet if there were 'White colleges', that would be a racist college.

In the Million Man March, you believed that you were marching for your race and rights.
If we marched for our race and rights, you would call us racists.
You are proud to be black, brown, yellow and orange, and you're not afraid to announce it.

But when we announce our white pride, you call us racists.

You rob us, car jack us, and shoot at us.

But, when a white police officer shoots a black gang member or beats up a black drug dealer running from the law and posing a threat to society, you call him a racist.

I am proud...... But you call me a racist.

Why is it that only whites can be racists??
There is nothing improper about this email.
Let's see which of you are proud enough to send it on.
I sadly don't think many will.
That's why we have LOST most of OUR RIGHTS in this country.

We won't stand up for ourselves!

BE PROUD TO BE WHITE!

It's not a crime YET... But getting very close!

It is estimated that ONLY 5% of those reaching this point in this email, will pass it on.

I DID!!
"I dispose of obsolete meat machines.  Not because I hate them (I do) and not because they deserve it (they do), but because they are in the way and those older ones don't meet emissions codes.  They emit too much.  You don't like them and I don't like them, so spare me the hysteria."

Internet Jesus

#10
October 09, 2012, 08:49:04 PM
Aren't you giving them too much credit by providing a rationale?  Just tell 'em to fuck off and be done with it.
HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS!

LMNO

#11
October 09, 2012, 08:49:27 PM
Holy.  Shit.

The Good Reverend Roger

#12
October 09, 2012, 08:49:59 PM
Oh, yeah.  Gonna have some fun with that tonight.  Good for resending.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#13
October 09, 2012, 08:51:04 PM
Quote from: Internet Jesus on October 09, 2012, 08:49:04 PM
Aren't you giving them too much credit by providing a rationale?  Just tell 'em to fuck off and be done with it.

It's more fun - and more permanent - this way.

I live for 25 year feuds.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Juana

#14
October 09, 2012, 08:53:10 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on October 09, 2012, 08:49:27 PM
Holy.  Shit.
Conservative old white people. What do you want?
"I dispose of obsolete meat machines.  Not because I hate them (I do) and not because they deserve it (they do), but because they are in the way and those older ones don't meet emissions codes.  They emit too much.  You don't like them and I don't like them, so spare me the hysteria."
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