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How to be a Tucson Legal District Resident.

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, October 15, 2012, 05:45:22 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

October 15, 2012, 05:45:22 PM
1) The "artsy" approach:  Dress in black.  Wear a goatee (even if you're female).  Write a poem about everything you see.  EVERYTHING.  This doesn't mean that every time you see a beautiful sunset, you should write a heartfelt sonnet.  This means you should READ your heartfelt sonnet to everyone you
see.  Whether you know them or not.  When you're in a bookstore, recite clever literary limericks to the cashier (a good first line would be "Edna St. Vincent Millay").  Sit in coffee shops and draw sketches of other patrons.  Then insist on making the sketches "personal gifts".

2) The "whiny" approach:  This comes naturally to most people.  Complain about everything, even stuff that doesn't exist ("You're only saying 'Hello' because you think you HAVE to, aren't you?").

3) The "clever" approach:  Laugh at inappropriate times.  Deny ever watching television. For that matter, deny ever doing anything ("Oh, you still read . . . books? How quaint. I don't read anything written after 950 BC.").  Claim that the New York Times Crossword Puzzle has a mis-spelling in it.  Then, just when you've convinced everyone of your intellectual pretensions, change directions violently ("That Mike & Maty show really speaks to me.").

4)  Operate under the mistaken impression that you live in portland.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Luna

#1
October 16, 2012, 11:30:54 AM
If I ever make the pilgrimage to Tuscon... what's the limit on bagging morons?

I mean, if it's less than three a day, I'm not sure I can go...
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

Anna Mae Bollocks

#2
October 16, 2012, 03:31:06 PM
I suspect there's no limit, but they're probably like carbuncles...when you squish one, it breaks up into a bunch of new ones.
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division
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