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Some Well-Meaning Asshole Referred to Me as a "Human Being".

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, October 14, 2012, 04:41:22 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

October 14, 2012, 04:41:22 PM
HOW DARE you call me "human"?  Do I LOOK like some shit throwing beast that lived in trees, only one prehensile limb in its body?  Look around you at the hordes of monkey descendants.  They can't even walk a STRAIGHT LINE without having another's ass to stuff their nose up for guidance, and THAT ONE can't, and so on, until no matter HOW MANY, they're going around in circles.

A monkey can't SPIT BURNING VENOM directly from its bile duct.  It's not allowed to.  A monkey can't GNAW THROUGH ITS CHAINS with tungsten carbide TEETH.  It's too afraid to.  A monkey can't even GROW FUR up and down it's back & ass without an irresistible urge to SHAVE IT OFF.

Sure, they've got bilateral symmetry.  Sure, they've got endothermic metabolism.  So does EVERY OTHER HERD ANIMAL ON THE PLANET.  Do they DARE to MOCK the superior force of my HATE?  They don't even dare to mock the leaders of THEIR OWN HERDS without showing that awful defensive grimace of teeth they call a smile.

They strut and crow about 5,000 years of written language.  What is that to 65 million years of MUTATION?  They parade around playing with "technology" that we TOSSED AWAY as BORING CHILDREN'S TOYS years ago.  They jabber and twitter about their enormous LIBRARIES of laws, and THAT, my friends, speaks for itself...codified RULES of BEHAVIOR.  What could be more antithetical to the freedom that the Superior Mutant craves?

So don't call me human, or I'll put my hackles up, pound my chest, and HOWL my Yeti hate in your face until your fucking eardrums pop like balloons.  I am both MORE and LESS than a human, and you don't want to meet the LESS part...It's like having a particularly hairy pit bull gnawing on your bits.  The MORE part, well, it's BUSY.  Taunting hippies, "free thinkers", conspiracy theorists, and generally standing in the street with its pants around its ankles, mice up its ass, and a silly grin.

Seriously.  You People have NO IDEA what I go through for you. 

So shut up.



" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Anna Mae Bollocks

#1
October 14, 2012, 05:06:58 PM
Oh, dear. Who brought this on?  :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

The Good Reverend Roger

#2
October 14, 2012, 05:08:33 PM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on October 14, 2012, 05:06:58 PM
Oh, dear. Who brought this on?  :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:

A friend of my wife's.

Granted, she didn't know any better, and granted I didn't vomit bile all over her (on account of she's my wife's friend, and I don't do things that upset my wife if I can help it), but STILL.  The fucking NERVE.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Anna Mae Bollocks

#3
October 14, 2012, 05:10:14 PM
That's what we're here for.

We LIKE bile.  :lulz:
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Epimetheus

#4
October 15, 2012, 06:32:14 AM
I always thought yetis were Humans Gone Right.
POST-SINGULARITY POCKET ORGASM TOAD OF RIGHTEOUSNESS

The Good Reverend Roger

#5
October 15, 2012, 02:58:47 PM
Quote from: Epimetheus on October 15, 2012, 06:32:14 AM
I always thought yetis were Humans Gone Right.

We are.   But "right" doesn't always mean "nice" or even "tolerable".
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Sano

#6
October 16, 2012, 02:35:58 AM
Zarathustra would be proud.

(Not the crazy weird zara-something in this forum, the actual (nietzsche's) zarathustra)
Everything comes to an end, reader. It is an old truism to which may be added that not everything that lasts, lasts for long. This latter part is not readily admitted; on the contrary the idea that an air castle lasts longer than the very air of which it is made is hard to get out of a person's head, and this is fortunate, otherwise the custom of making those almost eternal constructions might be lost.
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