Author Topic: UNLIMITED "Middle age man pretends to be a teenage girl on the internet" thread  (Read 9350 times)

Nephew Twiddleton

  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 20460
  • DEATH METAL ENGLISH
    • View Profile
:lulz:


Yeah, was me. I'm not the nerdiest guy in the world. I like dorky shit as much as the next guy, so I hang out with nerds and dorks and fanboys from time to time. And sometimes they have nerds and dorks and fanboys that they're friends with and therefore I run into, and socialize with. I play D & D from time to time with them (been ages though).

Then there's always that one guy who you're friendly with for a couple of minutes until he starts talking about his cat girl D & D character and shows you pictures of her in anime style that he drew. Everything about this guy, his mannerisms, the shit he says, the depth of his interests, they all tell you this is the dorkiest guy you'll ever meet. And instead of feeling pity or mockery, or even the monkey urge to beat up someone lower than you on the food chain of dorks, you feel unsettled, you feel revulsion. Because you keep coming back to this catgirl character that he's playing, and how much he seems to enjoy playing this catgirl character.


Oh dear god, I think the catgirl is hitting on my priest character.....

I've had that exact experience. 

Word of advice, if you feel like pointing out the character traits that make so many folks find him off putting and trying to help because you're sick of the whining on why he can't get a date, don't.  You'd have a better time just hitting your head on a brick wall.

Oh, I had no interest in helping this guy. I had just met him, and already figured that he was beyond help.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

  • v=1/3πr2h
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 77698
  • The sky tastes like red exuberance.
    • View Profile
Yeah, those people are a heaping pile of NOPE NEVER TALKING TO YOU AGAIN. IME, they nearly always turn out to be a little stalkery when it comes to girls they like and they have some, uh, questionable taste in porn.

And they always seem a little too interested in your teenage daughter.
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


Internet Jesus

  • Jesus did coke for your sins
  • Outlandish
  • ***
  • Posts: 308
  • Intellectually stunted man child in the city
    • View Profile
:lulz:


Yeah, was me. I'm not the nerdiest guy in the world. I like dorky shit as much as the next guy, so I hang out with nerds and dorks and fanboys from time to time. And sometimes they have nerds and dorks and fanboys that they're friends with and therefore I run into, and socialize with. I play D & D from time to time with them (been ages though).

Then there's always that one guy who you're friendly with for a couple of minutes until he starts talking about his cat girl D & D character and shows you pictures of her in anime style that he drew. Everything about this guy, his mannerisms, the shit he says, the depth of his interests, they all tell you this is the dorkiest guy you'll ever meet. And instead of feeling pity or mockery, or even the monkey urge to beat up someone lower than you on the food chain of dorks, you feel unsettled, you feel revulsion. Because you keep coming back to this catgirl character that he's playing, and how much he seems to enjoy playing this catgirl character.


Oh dear god, I think the catgirl is hitting on my priest character.....

I've had that exact experience. 

Word of advice, if you feel like pointing out the character traits that make so many folks find him off putting and trying to help because you're sick of the whining on why he can't get a date, don't.  You'd have a better time just hitting your head on a brick wall.

Oh, I had no interest in helping this guy. I had just met him, and already figured that he was beyond help.

You're a better man than I am, Gunga Din.
HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS!

Juana

  • Hideous and Otherworldly Attack Duckling of DESPAIR
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 5644
    • View Profile
Yeah, those people are a heaping pile of NOPE NEVER TALKING TO YOU AGAIN. IME, they nearly always turn out to be a little stalkery when it comes to girls they like and they have some, uh, questionable taste in porn.

And they always seem a little too interested in your teenage daughter.
Which is only okay if they themselves are teenagers. Frequently, they are not.
"I dispose of obsolete meat machines.  Not because I hate them (I do) and not because they deserve it (they do), but because they are in the way and those older ones don't meet emissions codes.  They emit too much.  You don't like them and I don't like them, so spare me the hysteria."

Nephew Twiddleton

  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 20460
  • DEATH METAL ENGLISH
    • View Profile
:lulz:


Yeah, was me. I'm not the nerdiest guy in the world. I like dorky shit as much as the next guy, so I hang out with nerds and dorks and fanboys from time to time. And sometimes they have nerds and dorks and fanboys that they're friends with and therefore I run into, and socialize with. I play D & D from time to time with them (been ages though).

Then there's always that one guy who you're friendly with for a couple of minutes until he starts talking about his cat girl D & D character and shows you pictures of her in anime style that he drew. Everything about this guy, his mannerisms, the shit he says, the depth of his interests, they all tell you this is the dorkiest guy you'll ever meet. And instead of feeling pity or mockery, or even the monkey urge to beat up someone lower than you on the food chain of dorks, you feel unsettled, you feel revulsion. Because you keep coming back to this catgirl character that he's playing, and how much he seems to enjoy playing this catgirl character.


Oh dear god, I think the catgirl is hitting on my priest character.....

I've had that exact experience. 

Word of advice, if you feel like pointing out the character traits that make so many folks find him off putting and trying to help because you're sick of the whining on why he can't get a date, don't.  You'd have a better time just hitting your head on a brick wall.

Oh, I had no interest in helping this guy. I had just met him, and already figured that he was beyond help.

You're a better man than I am, Gunga Din.

Some messes you know are unfixable with just a glance.

Unnatural predilection with teenage catgirls is one of those cues for unfixable, unless you happen to also be a teenage boy/teenage lesbian with questionable fashion sense.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

Nephew Twiddleton

  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 20460
  • DEATH METAL ENGLISH
    • View Profile
Yeah, those people are a heaping pile of NOPE NEVER TALKING TO YOU AGAIN. IME, they nearly always turn out to be a little stalkery when it comes to girls they like and they have some, uh, questionable taste in porn.

And they always seem a little too interested in your teenage daughter.
Which is only okay if they themselves are teenagers. Frequently, they are not.

Yep.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

Anna Mae Bollocks

  • La Mano Famosa del Infierno
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 10724
  • Interweb Horrormonkey of Love
    • View Profile

It's about 1/8 black. That's pretty Nigel.

Hmmm...The fact that you are part Black seems very, very important to them.

Maybe you could color in the other people like Al Jolson.  That might make them happy.

But notice, the nice White people in the painting are being brutally victimized by the awful Black mob of Nigels.

Oh, yes, you're right.

Carry on. 

NIGEL:  WILL PILLAGE YOUR VILLAGE.

LIKE THE ANGRY VISIGOTH MOB THAT I AM.

I was wondering what that avvie was about.

I traced my family back to Visigoths. HEY LOVESHADE! I'M SMUDGEY!
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Bebek Sincap Ratatosk

  • Probably
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 11433
    • View Profile
I am not sure whether to :lol: or :horrormirth: at the description of Ratatosk. That's actually the most viciously condemning thing in the whole article.

I don't know either...  :lulz:
- I don't see race. I just see cars going around in a circle.

"Back in my day, crazy meant something. Now everyone is crazy" - Charlie Manson

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Horrible Bastard
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 90457
    • View Profile
I am not sure whether to :lol: or :horrormirth: at the description of Ratatosk. That's actually the most viciously condemning thing in the whole article.

I don't know either...  :lulz:

Well, this IS Discordia.  And while I may have perhaps a little too much tolerance for your HERESY and your MAYBE LOGIC SACRILEGE and DOIN' IT WRONG, not everyone is as saintly as I.  The Loveshade Kabal For Kids seems to not share my BOUNDLESS FUCKING COMPASSION AND UNDERSTANDING.

Because I love all of you fuckers.  Even the FBtards.  And all I ask is for a little love in return.  For my ass.  I think that's what's wrong around here.  Insufficient love for my scabby, hairy ass.

Where is the love, Rat?
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.