I Have Absolutely Nothing to Say

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I have absolutely nothing to say.  Our government is insane, our people are insane, I take little yellow pills so I don't go insane, and my co-workers SHOULD take BUCKETS of those little yellow pills.

I have absolutely nothing to say.  I drive a middle class-mobile.  I live in a middle class residential area, you know, the kind where people almost have money.  My youngest goes to public school, my oldest is in the marines.  I drink crappy bourbon, but at least I don't drink shitty (ie, American) beer.  My face has more lines on it than it did when I took this job.  I like chainsaws, and I should be able to use chainsaws in performace art down at the grocery store, if you know what I'm talking about.  And I think you do.

I have absolutely nothing to say.  I voted democrat, because the GOP is crazy.  I still think too much is better than not enough, but I recognize that it's still too much.  Sometimes I take extra benzos at night, just to be a little fucked up at work the next day.  I am kind to children and small animals.

I have absolutely nothing to say.  I am a family man.  I advocate violent overthrow of the US government.  I have no ideas as to what should replace it.  I am as polite as possible to waiters, retail employees, and minor government functionaries.  I only own one gun these days, but I have what could be considered a disturbing amount of ammunition. 

I have absolutely nothing to say.  I frequently park across three handicapped spaces, because the police are too shorthanded these days to issue tickets.  I pimp-slapped a Salvation Army Santa once.  I hate the free market.  When I get sick, I deliberately cough on people.  I like dogs.

I have absolutely nothing to say.  Speed limits don't apply to me.  I have one fuck of a case of PTSD, but getting treatment for that sort of thing is for pussies.  I like to loosen the lids of salt shakers at restaurants.  I upper deck every toilet I get near.  I am community-oriented.  I think certain people should be FORCED to use illegal drugs.  People in Europe and Canada are fucking weird.

I have absolutely nothing to say.  So please get me my lawyer.

[LMNO]

I am community-oriented. 

When you say it, it kind of terrifies me.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I am community-oriented. 

When you say it, it kind of terrifies me.

I have absolutely nothing to say.  I help old ladies into the street.  I cut in line at the gas station.  I like to put out bird feeders, because birds please me.  I get drunk and piss myself in public.  I get involved in local government.  I don't approve of kids using drugs, because it drives the prices up.  I unplug all the public Rascal scooters at the mall when I walk in the door.  I work as a maintenance manager.  I value my employees.

[LMNO]

You are a responsible people.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

You are a responsible people.

SOMEONE has to be.  Look around you...Everything's fucked, and the reason it is fucked is because everyone has become CONVINCED that it's fucked.  There's nothing actually WRONG, but the world economy will go tits up in the next 8 weeks, because everyone (particularly in Europe and the USA) is too fucking afraid - or, in our case, butthurt - to try anything.  It's idiocy.  It is in fact so idiotic that it takes every fiber of my being to avoid buying a debriding glove and then run around slapping people. 

Other than that, I have absolutely nothing to say.

[LMNO]

My government fucks the world's economy because they're petulant little babies.

I have nothing to say.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

My government country's monied elite fucks the world's economy because they're petulant little babies.

I have nothing to say.

FTFY.  Doesn't count as saying shit.

[Pope Pixie Pickle]

Iceland did it right. they let the banks collapse, and basically said "FUCK YOU DRUNKEN BANKING WANKERS! YOU PLAYED FAST AND LOOSE AND  AND YOU ARE GOING TO SUCK IT UP!"

Iceland is in pretty good economic shape, right now, and the rest of North America and Europe is pooping their collective pance.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Iceland did it right. they let the banks collapse, and basically said "FUCK YOU DRUNKEN BANKING WANKERS! YOU PLAYED FAST AND LOOSE AND  AND YOU ARE GOING TO SUCK IT UP!"

Iceland is in pretty good economic shape, right now, and the rest of North America and Europe is pooping their collective pance.

Yeah, but Iceland doesn't count.  Their fire department puts out VOLCANOES, for fuck's sake.  It isn't fair to judge anyone else by their standard.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

When you put it that way icelanders do seem pretty badass.

[Juana]

They do.

I have nothing to say. I put my library books away myself, if they're not ones I'm checking out. Except I put them in the vaguely right part of the shelving, instead of finding exactly where they go. I like taking my dogs on long walks along the canals, until I run out of pathway when it gives out to ripirian woodland and duckweed. I like running in Big Foot shoes, so as to freak out the Squatchers. I cut in line at coffee shops and tip the baristas well. I like sitting on canal bridges, watching the carp and sawing holes in the metal mesh. I always put my grocery cart in their assigned stalls in the parking lot. I have a bad case of road rage.

[Phox]

I have nothing to say. I respond to emails at my convenience, regardless of how pressing the matter at hand is. I regurgitate information as it suits my need, and discard it if i find it no longer useful or interesting. I search for outrageous porn on library computers and turn the volume on my headphones all the way up so everyone around me can hear it. I have nothing to say.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

In the beginning was the void, and darkness was on the face of the void.  And Nigel said, "Say, friend, can I interest you in a cosmology? Special rate, since this'll be the first one in the neighborhood.  We just want a place to show it off."

So this shit is all HER fault.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

The LMNO disaster, also referred to as the Big Gay Cowboy tragedy, was a fabulous leak incident in Boston, considered one of the world's worst dance floor disasters.  It occurred on the night of 2–3 December 2010 at the GAY BAR in Boston.  Over 500,000 people were exposed to dangerous levels of fabulous.  The brightly colored substance made its way in and around the shantytowns located near the bar.  Estimates vary on the death toll.  The official immediate death toll was 2,259.  The government of Boston confirmed a total of 3,787 deaths related to the fabulous release.  Others estimate 8,000 died within two weeks and another 8,000 or more have since died from Wango Tango-related diseases.  A government affidavit in 2012 stated the leak caused 558,125 injuries including 38,478 temporary partial injuries and approximately 3,900 severely and permanently disabling injuries.

[LMNO]

RELEVANT.