Suggestions to Improve Things in America

[Juana]

How old are your kids? 'Cause we had it. I always walked the mile, just for spite. And because Fresno has some of the worst air in the country and EVERYBODY has asthma here, or damn near.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

My daughter is 19 and my son is 21.

They might have made it easier in recent years...I can't see ANY of these chubby kids walking around jumping over a chest high bar.

[Elder Iptuous]

Everyone has to wear a fedora hat.  No exceptions.

Shit, yes.  This country has been going to the DOGS since people stopped wearing hats.  PROPER hats, I mean, not some ballcap on sideways or any shit like that.

Fedoras or flat caps.  OR GTFO.

Coincidentally, everyone in UK should have to wear stetsons. Big fucking stetsons 

I would take offense to this cultural appropriation. 

(but i'll sell some to you at a very reasonable cost, authentic TX ones...)

[Juana]

My daughter is 19 and my son is 21.

They might have made it easier in recent years...I can't see ANY of these chubby kids walking around jumping over a chest high bar.

They must've. I certainly don't remember having to jump over anything. We had stretching, running, push ups, and pull/trunk lifts. No leaping involved, and I distinctly remember it being President's.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

My daughter is 19 and my son is 21.

They might have made it easier in recent years...I can't see ANY of these chubby kids walking around jumping over a chest high bar.

They must've. I certainly don't remember having to jump over anything. We had stretching, running, push ups, and pull/trunk lifts. No leaping involved, and I distinctly remember it being President's.

We had lots of jumping...there was a standing broad jump too.
I remember the "arm flex" (pull yourself up and hang on the bar as long as possible) being overhanded, pretty tough.

[Juana]

Huh. I bet, lol.


In the spirit of the OP, I suggest adding jumping back into the phsyical fitness tests. Except they have to leap over a vat of hydrocholoric acid.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

1.   Instead of topless bars, this country needs topless coffee shops.  I mean, think about it...Instead of a roomful of drunk guys trying to paw the waitresses, you'll have a room full of hyped-up, jittery guys who are too busy looking at porn on the internet to bother the waitresses.

2.  Fire the TSA and issue everyone a hard hat and a binky before they get on the plane.  That way, those of us who aren't terrified of smudgy people don't have to get groped before we get on the plane.  Wait.  Scratch that.  It occurs to me that the grope is free.  Disregard this item.

3.  Set up Facebook so that once someone logs on the second time, they can't go ANYWHERE ELSE on the internet, EVER.  It would be like a honey trap for vapid one-line posters.

4.  Make Dick Cheney ride around in a wheelchair modeled after Captain Pike's.

5.  Make the age of eligibility for the draft begin at 35 and end at 65.  We'd never get in another war again.

6.  All speed limits should go up to 80MPH, including residential areas.  ESPECIALLY residential areas.  We need to inject a little Darwinism into our culture, and I can't think of a better way.

7.  Put shop classes back in high school.  Make home ec a mandatory class at least 3 years out of the K-12 system.

8.  Allow illegals in, throw secessionists out. 

9.  Make Nigel the secretary of health & human services.  Make me the secretary of education.  Make LMNO the secretary of THE GAY BAR.  Make ECH the secretary of the department of OH, WERE THOSE YOUR ICKLE FEEWINGS?

10.  Outlaw the making of lists.

THIS IS BRILLIANT

Someone put this man in charge, immediately!

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Huh. I bet, lol.


In the spirit of the OP, I suggest adding jumping back into the phsyical fitness tests. Except they have to leap over a vat of hydrocholoric acid.

That's just brutal.
Dog poo will do. 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I loved PE while we had it.
It was the only thing in school that brought me out of myself and made me feel good. Now that I think about it, it's not surprising that as soon as I no longer had that my self esteem plummeted and the weight piled on.

Can you manage a Y membership?  They're pretty cheap and they have everything you'd ever want to do, alone or in a group.  Last I checked, a single membership ran $27/month after a $50 initiation fee.

Community centers are also awesome, and often will waive fees for low income residents.

[East Coast Hustle]

Buenos Aires has topless coffee shops.  No troll.

Maine had one but it burned down. And having stopped there once I can assure you that was an improvement.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Buenos Aires has topless coffee shops.  No troll.

Maine had one but it burned down. And having stopped there once I can assure you that was an improvement.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

Huh. I bet, lol.


In the spirit of the OP, I suggest adding jumping back into the phsyical fitness tests. Except they have to leap over a vat of hydrocholoric acid.

I earned my college PE credits via one quarter of preparing to climb a mountain and another quarter of more preparing and actually climbing St. Helens.

At base camp, our teacher bivouacked in the snow for no good reason (fucking showoff) while we passed around a flask of whiskey and a joint and slept in tents.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Bismark once said that politics are like sausages.  It doesn't pay to closely examine what goes into them.

I have an addition to that:

Warfare is the reverse.  It doesn't pay to closely examine what comes out of it.

[Juana]

Huh. I bet, lol.


In the spirit of the OP, I suggest adding jumping back into the phsyical fitness tests. Except they have to leap over a vat of hydrocholoric acid.

I earned my college PE credits via one quarter of preparing to climb a mountain and another quarter of more preparing and actually climbing St. Helens.

At base camp, our teacher bivouacked in the snow for no good reason (fucking showoff) while we passed around a flask of whiskey and a joint and slept in tents.

I think you win. I just took archery and tried not to thwap the hell out of my arm.
I don't like that mountain. When I was there, it made weird noises neither of the geologists of my acquiantance, one of whom has a Ph.d in the subject, have been able to explain to me.

[Lenin McCarthy]

PE (or Ergonomics and Motion, as it's called for music/dance/drama students) is mandatory from 1st through 13th grades in Norway.
I'm fine with that, except I think it should be less competitive and graded pass/not pass instead of 1-6 (F-A).