Backing Up My Eris

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Eris is the Mb/s in the internet of my life.

What do I mean by that?  Well, basically that if my life were a computer, then Eris would be the Mb/s.  Now, when I say "Mb/s", I really don't know what I'm talking about.  I'm not that much of a computer guy, I don't know a lot about the interbutts, but I don't know that much about Eris, either.

Eris is some obscure piece of my life.  I don't know quite what purpose she serves, but I do have faith that she serves some purpose.  I would not be at all surprised, when I die, to have God say to me, "Well, Mac, there's something wrong with your Eris.  Now, you can get into Heaven, but if you'd backed up your Eris, you'da gotten into Heaven faster."

Now, I really don't know how to back up my Eris, I assume it's something to do with hard drives or cloud memory or carbonite or something equally arcane.  I do know how to keep my Eris up, though.  I need to do Good Works in Her name.  I need to keep Eris in my professional life.  I need to make sure that Eris and I are in perfect working order, while people try to figure out what's wrong with the toilet and who did it.  And then, once my Eris is working in whatever way that Eris works, she can make my life run better.   She can give me - or rather she can give my soul - a "faster connection".

Well - - I'm not sure that ancient Greek goddesses have anything to do with connection speeds, but...she can give my soul whatever...benefit it is that a computer, um...gives...to the internet supermarket.

Eris is the spleen of my soul.  I don't know quite what it is she's doing for me.  But I'm pretty sure I'd miss it if it were gone.

Or Kill Me.

[Pæs]

I switched to Eris because I prefer to handle important things like this myself. I may not know entirely how it all fits together but at least I'm not going to get some sleazeball expert telling me "Well, champ, looks like your YAHWEH has a twisted knee-pivot. I can swap it out for a new one but I'll have to take the whole leg apart to do it... and, you understand, it's not even a real leg. It's abstract, like, so it's very complex."

No motherfucker is an expert on Eris, so whose to say her knee-pivot isn't supposed to be that way? I sure as hell don't know and I'm not going to pretend like I do by assuming to fix it.

My grandfather likes to call me up and ask "what are these .dll files. If I don't understand the name, I've just been deleting them" and I feel like if I didn't have Eris, I'd wake up in the morning and just flip the fuck out, twitching and screeching like his computer does.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

My grandfather likes to call me up and ask "what are these .dll files. If I don't understand the name, I've just been deleting them"

I just busted out laughing like a loon.  Now my guys know I'm not actually working on the monthly financials.

[Pæs]

My grandfather likes to call me up and ask "what are these .dll files. If I don't understand the name, I've just been deleting them"

I just busted out laughing like a loon.  Now my guys know I'm not actually working on the monthly financials.

Or maybe they're jealous of how much fun you're having doing it.

[Sita]

My grandfather likes to call me up and ask "what are these .dll files. If I don't understand the name, I've just been deleting them"

Oh god, my dad used to do this all the time. That and back when floppys were still very popular he reinstalled Windows twice because the computer wouldn't let him do anything. Turned out there was a disk in the drive, if he'd only waited for me to wake up could've saved tons of headache.

Now he just goes out and buys a new computer when it stops working, which is how we've been getting our replacement computers lately

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

For me, Eris is that extra power cord that turns up every time I move stuff around in the office.

Where did it come from? What does it go to? I don't know, but I'd better put it somewhere safe because if I get rid of it, it will turn out that I need it for something critical.

[Remington]

Remember, backups are like airbags: if you're ever in a position where you need them, you're already pretty fucked.

Eris is the airbag in the car crash of your life: keeps you alive, but may result in whiplash.



PS: Mb/s are gooood. You need more of them, except if you live in Kansas City.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Remember, backups are like airbags: if you're ever in a position where you need them, you're already pretty fucked.

Eris is the airbag in the car crash of your life: keeps you alive, but may result in whiplash.



PS: Mb/s are gooood. You need more of them, except if you live in Kansas City.

Airbags are also installed entertainment, if you like to steal cars.

[Suu]

Eris reminds me that shit going wrong is perfectly normal. And that perfectly normal is shit going wrong.

Who needs the status quo^TM when you have Eris?