Shamblers

[Scribbly]

We spent countless hours preparing for this very end, but when it came, nobody seemed to realize until it was much too late. The Crash came, and with it, the zombies. But I'm sure everything will be alright.

It might not even have been The Crash, looking back, it seems like many of our institutions were showing warning signs even before then. Heightened aggression, insatiable thirst for human flesh, repetitive behaviour and rictus grins. Not to mention a gradual lowering of higher brain function and reliance on stock phrases. I'm sure everything will be alright. The warning signs were all there, but nobody seemed to really notice or take action.

The Crash was definitely when things got so bad they couldn't be ignored. These dead institutions have shambled on for years, holding in their guts with one hand and devouring their fellows with the other. We struggled to find a cure, but the rot just spread in deeper. Things have gotten pretty bad. What's worse is that we seem to be trying to convince ourselves that it isn't happening! I'm sure everything will be alright though. Some countries have attempted to purge the infection with fire, but that doesn't seem to have helped slow it at all. If anything, it has speeded the rate at which living, breathing officials have been replaced with dead-eyed bureaucrats hungry for more.

The truth is we weren't prepared for this kind of zombie. Sure, sure, fiction named a hundred different variants, but none working quite like this. Cut off the head all you like, the body will either thrash around and become even more violent, or else simply grow a new one; the only appreciable difference being a more desperate gleam in the eye. I'm sure everything will be alright. There are probably experts working on it.

Having identified the infected by their dead-eyed stare and repetition of phrases such as 'for your safety' and 'quantitative easing', it is important first of all not to panic. They are, thankfully, quite stupid and only dangerous if panicked. Quickly make your way out of the area, doing your best to adopt a similarly haggard and stressed demeanour whilst uttering platitudes. Be certain not to make any sudden moves or question their assumptions. Remember, everything will be alright. There are probably experts working on it.

As there seems to be nothing which can kill one of these monsters than another of their  kind, it is best not to interfere. All we can do is hunker down and hope that they don't mess up badly enough to cause the lights to go out. So long as we have the illusion of normality, we can just keep pretending this isn't really happening and everything will go back to normal if we just keep the faith. Even if things won't go back to normal, I'm sure everything will be alright.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

We will wait the Resumption of Normal Service.  This may take a while, but we know it will happen.  Stands to reason, doesn't it?  The government has a vested interest in normal service.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Oooh, yeah!