What the hell, GOD!

[Cain]

I'd just like to point out, people nowadays believe in angels, the healing power of crystals, auras and lucky numbers.  People with free access to basic scientific literature, at least a decade of mandatory education under their belt and unfettered access to the internet.

The main reason this still isn't the organising principle of our modern societies (for the most part) is that military scientific labs > goatherders with sticks.  Until those wacky kids at DARPA figure out how to weaponise remote viewing, at least.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

I'd just like to point out, people nowadays believe in angels, the healing power of crystals, auras and lucky numbers.  People with free access to basic scientific literature, at least a decade of mandatory education under their belt and unfettered access to the internet.

The main reason this still isn't the organising principle of our modern societies (for the most part) is that military scientific labs > goatherders with sticks.  Until those wacky kids at DARPA figure out how to weaponise remote viewing, at least.

Need some kind of exploding goat gif. 

[Pæs]

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Close enough. 

[Suu]

Today's verse from the Book of Proverbs app on my phone:

"There is a generation that curseth their father, and doth not bless their mother." 30:11

[P3nT4gR4m]

Today's verse from the Book of Proverbs app on my phone:

"There is a generation that curseth their father, and doth not bless their mother." 30:11

Fail - needs moar DIVINE SMITE (bear borne or similar)

[Suu]

Today's verse from the Book of Proverbs app on my phone:

"There is a generation that curseth their father, and doth not bless their mother." 30:11

Fail - needs moar DIVINE SMITE (bear borne or similar)

Proverbs isn't so much about smiting, but more like the fortune cookie of the Bible.

"Divers weights are an abomination unto the LORD; and a false balance is not good." 20:23

WHAT

[Elder Iptuous]

are you sure it's not 'diverse'?  because i don't like double-standards either...

[Don Coyote]

are you sure it's not 'diverse'?  because i don't like double-standards either...

I suspect it would be 'diverse' as 'divers' is an archaic creative spelling of 'diverse'.

BUT

I think it's better as 'divers'.


GOD HATES SHRIMP AND OVER AQUATIC THINGS WITHOUT SCALES!!!!!

[Nephew Twiddleton]

God hates fags the metric system. They're an abomination.

Also, a broken scale irks him slightly. He suggests getting a new one.

[Deepthroat Chopra]

Behold! Yahweh enjoys a spot of primate territorial poop-flinging!

Malachi 2:3-4

Behold, I will rebuke your offspring, and spread dung upon your faces, the dung of your offerings, and I will put you out of my presence.[a] 4 So shall you know that I have sent this command to you, that my covenant with Levi may hold, says the Lord of hosts.


Also, his prophets resort to childish insults, insinuating their enemies eat poop and drink pee, while engaging in linguistic colonialism -

Then Eli′akim the son of Hilki′ah, and Shebnah, and Jo′ah, said to the Rab′shakeh, "Pray, speak to your servants in the Aramaic language, for we understand it; do not speak to us in the language of Judah within the hearing of the people who are on the wall." 27 But the Rab′shakeh said to them, "Has my master sent me to speak these words to your master and to you, and not to the men sitting on the wall, who are doomed with you to eat their own dung and to drink their own urine?"

28 Then the Rab′shakeh stood and called out in a loud voice in the language of Judah: "Hear the word of the great king, the king of Assyria!



Ye. Speak Engrish, or die.

[Trivial]

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Not just any sex. Ghost sex by proxy.