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TESTEMONAIL:  Right and Discordianism allows room for personal interpretation. You have your theories and I have mine. Unlike Christianity, Discordia allows room for ideas and opinions, and mine is well-informed and based on ancient philosophy and theology, so, my neo-Discordian friends, open your minds to my interpretation and I will open my mind to yours. That's fair enough, right? Just claiming to be discordian should mean that your mind is open and willing to learn and share ideas. You guys are fucking bashing me and your laughing at my theologies and my friends know what's up and are laughing at you and honestly this is my last shot at putting a label on my belief structure and your making me lose all hope of ever finding a ideological group I can relate to because you don't even know what the fuck I'm talking about and everything I have said is based on the founding principals of real Discordianism. Expand your mind.

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Bitter Cynic's Test

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, December 20, 2012, 09:34:36 PM

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Phox

#30
December 25, 2012, 05:02:45 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 25, 2012, 04:26:13 AM
Correct answers have been edited into the thread opener.

Scores are:

Pent:  0/20.  No cynicism at all.  Hopeless believer.
Cainad:  1/20.  Unicorn poop huffer.
Paes:  0/20.  Where do You People come from?
Twid:  2/20.  RAINBOWS.  UP YOUR ASS.
Richter:  1/20.  I am bitterly, bitterly disappointed.
Wallified:  1/20.  I expect better from Eskimos.
Deepthroat Chopra:  1/20.  Have fun in pleasantville.
Hunter Durden:  0/20.  I don't even KNOW you anymore.
Nigel:  I have high hopes here...Lemme go grade it...AW SHIT, 1/20.  I AM SO ALONE!
LMNO:  2/10.  I am giving up hope, here.
Regret:  1/20.  Fucking Belgians.
Sano:  1/20.  This isn't going well.
Phox:  1/20.  What ARE they teaching in schools these days?
Trix:  0/20.  Don't quit your day job for stand up.
Holist:  0/20.  Hungarians are supposed to be cynical, dammit!
Pope Tom:  0/20.  WTF, BOSTON?


Okay, Twid and LMNO are tied for SUCKING ASS.

Elimination round tomorrow.  One question, one answer each.




I think the problem here was everyone was trying to give some answers that would make them look wise.  This wasn't a test for wisdom, it was a test for bitter cynicism.  So you all failed.  WHICH IS HARDLY SURPRISING!

:crankey:
:lulz:
I am unsurprised by this result.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#31
December 25, 2012, 09:44:37 AM
Wasn't trying to be wise.

Was trying to be funny.  :cry:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Cainad (dec.)

#32
December 25, 2012, 06:30:09 PM
At least I managed one point. :lulz:

I have a hard time differentiating wisdom from cynicism these days.

The Good Reverend Roger

#33
December 25, 2012, 09:40:05 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on December 25, 2012, 09:44:37 AM
Wasn't trying to be wise.

Was trying to be funny.  :cry:

And you were.  So were most other people.  Nothing to feel bad about.

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Sano

#34
December 25, 2012, 09:41:53 PM
Quote from: Cainad on December 25, 2012, 06:30:09 PM
At least I managed one point. :lulz:

I have a hard time differentiating wisdom from cynicism these days.

This. Now I'm really curious about the right answers.
Everything comes to an end, reader. It is an old truism to which may be added that not everything that lasts, lasts for long. This latter part is not readily admitted; on the contrary the idea that an air castle lasts longer than the very air of which it is made is hard to get out of a person's head, and this is fortunate, otherwise the custom of making those almost eternal constructions might be lost.

The Good Reverend Roger

#35
December 25, 2012, 09:43:38 PM
Quote from: Sano on December 25, 2012, 09:41:53 PM
Quote from: Cainad on December 25, 2012, 06:30:09 PM
At least I managed one point. :lulz:

I have a hard time differentiating wisdom from cynicism these days.

This. Now I'm really curious about the right answers.

As I said, I edited them into the first post.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#36
December 25, 2012, 09:43:50 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 20, 2012, 09:34:36 PM
20 points total.  Answers posted Monday.  Winner gets a hate mail.

1.  What is freedom?  Slavery of choice.
2.  What is science?  Everyone's personal religion.
3.  What is religion?  Somebody else's science.
4.  What is insanity? The state of being insufficiently neurotic.
5.  What is neurosis?  Personality.  Because consciousness always needs to have a style.
6.  A fish is to water as the mind is to. . . ?  Falsehood.
7.  What do all the evils in the world have in common?  They're all necessary ones.
8.  And who commits them?  Everyone else.
9.  What are the two great keys to lifelong happiness and what great modern thinker discovered them?  Good health and a bad memory. Ingrid Bergman.
10.  To whom is all religious, moral, political, scientific and artistic preaching directed?  The converted.
11.  What is the most important information in any message?  The name of the messenger.
12.  Why do some people believe in God?  Because they're afraid not to.
13.  Why do other people not believe in God?  Trick question. Everyone believes in God. They just don't believe in someone else's God.
14.  Who has the hardest belief system?  Atheists.  They have to believe in EVERYTHING.
15.  What's a black hole?  God's open grave.
16.  Name the only two humans in history whose theories on the nature of reality were correct. One was the Cabalist sage Isaac ben Solomon Luria, who in the sixteenth century correctly surmised, in his theory of zimzum, or contraction, that God's first act of creation was to retract himself from existence, in order to make room for the world. The second was the painter Salvador Dali, who astutely noted that the universe is not vast and expanding at all, but is in fact smaller than a butterfly and contracting to a single point somewhere in a railway station in Perpignan, France.
17.  What is the greatest enemy of truth? (this one is worth 4 points)  Consensus

Remember that this was a test of cynicism, not science.  Points to be awarded down thread.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.
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