I HAVE A FUCKING TURKEY. ALSO A QUESTION.

[Freeky]

THAT IS NOT ENOUGH BACON! INDIGNANT

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

That doesn't even cover the bread in a BLT.

I mean, yeah, Americans are conditioned to be fat turds, but WTF? Can't you guys eat four, anyway?

[Cain]

Bacon is flavouring.  It's not the whole meal.

When it is the whole meal, you get...well, Americans.

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

Bacon is flavouring.  It's not the whole meal.

When it is the whole meal, you get...well, Americans.

  it's sad funny cause it's true.

Next time you have a whole turkey:
day 1: eat the bird. just carve off of it and eat it hot with cranberries and stuff
day 2: carve meat off for cold sandwiches with lettuce tomato pepper and mayo (bacon IS optional)
day 3: turkey a la king- strip off remaining meat, saute onion and celery in a fat like butter, add turkey meat, then some flour and stir till really weird and sticky. add seasoning (s&p, celery seed, marjoram) and milk until thick but creamy and not lumpy. serve on toast.
day 4: soup- throw all your scraps into a pot with veg and spice, make fucking soup. you know how to do this.
day 5: there is nothing fucking left, STARVE (unless you have leftover soup, then you can live)

[Freeky]

Mmmmmmm!

Except for the starving part.