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I can't even go to the fucking HARDWARE store without being hassled by assholes.

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, January 28, 2013, 05:44:04 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

January 28, 2013, 05:44:04 PM
So, Frank the Bastard and I were driving from my house down to the hardware store this Saturday, to pick up some MANLY stuff for a MANLY project that required some 2X4s and some roofing nails, when I noticed that the disc in his player went from Beathoven to Orff.  Now, I'm pretty sure that the two of them never composed anything together, so I asked FtB what was up with the disc.

"Oh, I just took the best parts of some symphonies and mashed them up, so I don't have to listen to the boring parts."

"So let me get this straight.  You cut out all the stuff that isn't sturm & drang, and burned the rest onto a CD?"

"Yeah.  Problem with that?"

"As a matter of fact, there is a problem with that.  Symphonies tell a story, they paint a complete picture.  So if you're taking out the DETAILS, that's kind of like saying we should just snip the smile out of the Mona Lisa, and shit can the rest.  We should tear down all of Guernica except that one horse.  We should have Godzilla stomping around a green-screen, with nothing in the background.  I mean, if the details are BORING."

"Fuck you, baldy.  If I just want to hear the 'Hey, I'm burning a village down' part of a symphony, it is my God-given right to do so."

(At this point, we are walking into the store.)

"Your right?  I don't see anything in the constitution that gives you the right to FUCK KARL ORFF'S FESTERING CORPSE UP THE ASS."

"Yeah, well, dead people don't have rights.  I can fuck 'em all I like."

(People are now staring at us, and moving away.)

"Just you try that with Randy "Macho Man" Savage's corpse.  He'd kill you with one punch of his rotting fist."

"Not if I dress up like Miss Elizabeth, and feed him a Slimjim."

(Nervous-looking manager approaches, wearing a cheap clip-on tie.)

"Can I help you fellows?"

FtB and I look at each other.

Frank:  "Yes, we're going to need two shovels, 2 boxes of condoms, and a couple of canvas tarps."

Me:  "And some Febreeze.  Like a gallon of it."

Manager:  "I think you guys should leave now."

So we left.  But I will now be forced to write Ace Hardware with a complaint, as my sense of American privilege has been violated.

Thanks a lot, Obama!   :argh!:
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

LMNO

#1
January 28, 2013, 05:50:17 PM
 :lol:


You are a bad man, and do bad things.

The Good Reverend Roger

#2
January 28, 2013, 05:52:10 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on January 28, 2013, 05:50:17 PM
:lol:


You are a bad man, and do bad things.

In my defense, FtB started it.  I was only along for the ride.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Anna Mae Bollocks

#3
January 28, 2013, 05:54:15 PM
 :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:

Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

P3nT4gR4m

#5
January 28, 2013, 06:05:08 PM
I'm with FTB, TBH. I listen to some sound molecules, bouncing about the way the composer thought they'd taste best and straight away the first question that pops into my head is "was he right?"

That said, if I'd have been in your shoes, I'd have gone for the argument regardless. Some things deserve to be argued about, loudly, in hardware stores and fuck anyone who would deny you that right  :argh!:

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

The Good Reverend Roger

#6
January 28, 2013, 06:06:27 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on January 28, 2013, 06:05:08 PM
I'm with FTB, TBH. I listen to some sound molecules, bouncing about the way the composer thought they'd taste best and straight away the first question that pops into my head is "was he right?"

That said, if I'd have been in your shoes, I'd have gone for the argument regardless. Some things deserve to be argued about, loudly, in hardware stores and fuck anyone who would deny you that right  :argh!:

Yes, but I didn't get my lumber, and had to go way the fuck across town for it.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

P3nT4gR4m

#7
January 28, 2013, 06:08:21 PM
I bet it tasted fucking better for it?

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

The Good Reverend Roger

#8
January 28, 2013, 06:10:33 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on January 28, 2013, 06:08:21 PM
I bet it tasted fucking better for it?

You People are weird.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Eater of Clowns

#9
January 28, 2013, 08:12:59 PM
 :lulz:
Quote from: Pippa Twiddleton on December 22, 2012, 01:06:36 AM
EoC, you are the bane of my existence.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 07, 2014, 01:18:23 AM
EoC doesn't make creepy.

EoC makes creepy worse.

Quote
the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

Richter

#10
January 28, 2013, 10:49:46 PM
Do you poor fuckers have pier 1 imports out there?  Nurse East and I pulled the same sort of thing  on them back around Xmas.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 22, 2015, 03:00:53 AM
Anyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?   :lulz:

Friendly Neighborhood Mentat

The Good Reverend Roger

#11
January 28, 2013, 11:54:42 PM
Quote from: Richter on January 28, 2013, 10:49:46 PM
Do you poor fuckers have pier 1 imports out there?  Nurse East and I pulled the same sort of thing  on them back around Xmas.

What kind of heck would this be if we DIDN'T have Pier One Imports?
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Richter

#12
January 29, 2013, 12:42:37 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 28, 2013, 11:54:42 PM
Quote from: Richter on January 28, 2013, 10:49:46 PM
Do you poor fuckers have pier 1 imports out there?  Nurse East and I pulled the same sort of thing  on them back around Xmas.

What kind of heck would this be if we DIDN'T have Pier One Imports?

A heck without the polyphonic scents and clashing colors of 50 shades of obscure cheap wood products.

The high holidays are a shitshow there, every sense is abused to try to stimulate you to buy more and get out.  The local one featured a beyond-cougar lounging on one of their sofa-excuses wearing a garment that was only saved from being a bathrobe by labels from a fine designer.  NO idea what the fuck she was there for.  IT was like some sort of horrible spray-tan Queen Mum.

I tried to queue at the register to buy a gift card and got only stinkeye.  Nurse East vanished into the stacks to jingle anything that jingled (there was a LOT)  Switching to the other side I struck up a conversation with a fellow shopper, and was mentioning how the staff could smile razorblades through their face like Kali when a register magically opened up for me.  We got out before we could find out what the Ur-Guidette was about.  Good fucking riddance.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 22, 2015, 03:00:53 AM
Anyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?   :lulz:

Friendly Neighborhood Mentat

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#13
January 29, 2013, 12:59:56 AM
 :lulz: This made my night.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

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