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Richter Reviews Games : Dominion

Started by Richter, February 06, 2013, 11:50:43 PM

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Richter

Let me be clear right now, I am about to offend people.

Dominion is a table top game.  It comes in a box, and requires only a flat surface free of too much wind, light to see by, the ability to read, speak, and movement above your nipples to play.

For those of you who have played "Magic: The Gathering", this is a LOT like a draft tourney where you are playing your library as you build it.  Draw, play, and pass to the next schmoe.  Reshuffle your stack when it's all been played.  That's the basic idea.  EXACTLY like a Magic, (or any other card game draft), you are most effective when you have the contents of the card set and their frequency memorized. 

Here is the point where Dominion stops being a game you can play casual and friendly, and a trial of frustration for the relaxed gamer, and a jerk off smug-session for the enthusiast - The contents of each game are variable.  There is a core Dominion set, and a fuckton of FUN AND EXCITING additional sets, simple enough.  The loathing begins at the inception of each game.  Those resolved to play begin what I loving call, the "Bargaining Phase", in which they haggle and debate over which cards in which  numbers will be included in the game about to occur. 

Imagine an overly-dramatized drug deal, or one of the Underworld Smuggler Scum scenes in a Star Wars Movie, complete with bouncy wacky aliens.  There is positively congressional back and forth over the card set to be used.  All the enthusiast players are doing this too, anyone "Just trying it", can only watch bewildered.  I have never seen a "Let's just use it all" game.

The game itself?  It's playing statistics in the deck you are building, and figuring out the advantage and combos workable of the cards included.  Likely as you are seeing each one for the very first time.  Next game, this will be switched up.  Hang on to your ass because the sequence of play is all you have gained, everything else is about to change.  Mechanics, card sub sets, combos...  the next bargaining phase will throw what you knew in the sink and shit on it like an unruly dinner guest.  Played deliberate and friendly with a consistent card set, I don't see the fun in this game. 

The rest of the time it is at best a way to frustrate people, at worst a cruel joke played on the neophytes by the skilled.  If you want people to leave the table calling the whole room cocksuckers, this is the game you should strive to get good at.

As a  "board game" Seven Wonders does the same thing without the SHITFUCKDAMN complexity.  If you need a massive card set to maintain interest or an erection, play a real CCG, not this midpoint fuckaround.  Damn all your eyes.

R.

Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 22, 2015, 03:00:53 AM
Anyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?   :lulz:

Friendly Neighborhood Mentat

Freeky

:lulz:  It's funnier if you tell several players to pick a box (each) and take two stacks out, without the haggling.  That way, everyone is surprised! 

It's informally called Dickbutt at the game store, though.  :lulz: :lulz:

Golden Applesauce

Our gaming group just uses smartphone apps to pick the cards for us. Nothing past "Do we want to play with Prosperity yes/no?" or "Force include the newest set, or is it old hat by now?"  Sometimes if we're playing during lunch at work, though, we'll throw back cards like Sea Witch (makes everyone's deck crummy and terrible) because they slow the game waaaay down.
Q: How regularly do you hire 8th graders?
A: We have hired a number of FORMER 8th graders.

Richter

Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on February 07, 2013, 03:15:33 AM
:lulz:  It's funnier if you tell several players to pick a box (each) and take two stacks out, without the haggling.  That way, everyone is surprised! 

It's informally called Dickbutt at the game store, though.  :lulz: :lulz:

This, I like.  It puts all participants with basic knowledge on an even field.

And LOL DICKBUTT
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 22, 2015, 03:00:53 AM
Anyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?   :lulz:

Friendly Neighborhood Mentat

Richter

Quote from: Golden Applesauce on February 07, 2013, 03:47:34 AM
Our gaming group just uses smartphone apps to pick the cards for us. Nothing past "Do we want to play with Prosperity yes/no?" or "Force include the newest set, or is it old hat by now?"  Sometimes if we're playing during lunch at work, though, we'll throw back cards like Sea Witch (makes everyone's deck crummy and terrible) because they slow the game waaaay down.

I may bring this up as a house rule.  For every person without an opinion of the card sets included, there is either Sea Witch or one random stack included.  (Adjusted by ratio for # of players and size of deck)
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 22, 2015, 03:00:53 AM
Anyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?   :lulz:

Friendly Neighborhood Mentat

Freeky

Quote from: Richter on February 08, 2013, 08:05:45 PM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on February 07, 2013, 03:15:33 AM
:lulz:  It's funnier if you tell several players to pick a box (each) and take two stacks out, without the haggling.  That way, everyone is surprised! 

It's informally called Dickbutt at the game store, though.  :lulz: :lulz:

This, I like.  It puts all participants with basic knowledge on an even field.

And LOL DICKBUTT

It can still make for some interesting (or frustrating) gaems. We has curses and no trash mechanic? Brilliant! Let's have the winnerbe the one with the highest negative score! :lulz: