I am now running for Mexico.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

SLOW DOWN, my friends.

I AM slowing down.  I'm running like a mad bastard, but I'm up to my hips in mud, acid, and stupid people.  It's like one of those dreams, you know, not the one with Jerve Villachez crawling up your leg with a rose in his teeth.  No.  The other OTHER dream, where you can't seem to run worth a damn, and Al Haig and Richard Nixon are after you, waving affidavits and screaming that it wasn't their fault, it was YOUR fault and now you have to PAY, while Ed Meese clings to your back whispering into your ear about how porn causes rape and how you need to be LOCKED UP for YOUR OWN GOOD.

So I am slow.  Because it's the CONE ZONE, and we have to be SAFE.

ETA:  So I don't WANNA be Mexico anymore.  I want to be the 21^st century.  I have TEETH with which to GRIN, and I laugh all the time.  Not a healthy laugh, but it's a laugh and that's what counts.

 

Folks, I think we have our new 21st Century.

Tall, hairy, and with a former Attorney General hanging onto its back.

[Junkenstein]

Amigos,

Do not let the nominations for the current century disrupt your work. The gringos have still not provided long form sombreros.

The liberul media is trying to distract you with talk of witch hats!

Madre dios!

Amigos, please, write to your freinds in the world and highlight the cause. OUR MEXICO HAS NO SOMBRERO.

Only you can keep Mexico, Mexican.

El 3/7'sthshs (We've grown!  A bit!)

[Doktor Howl]

Amigos,

Do not let the nominations for the current century disrupt your work. The gringos have still not provided long form sombreros.

The liberul media is trying to distract you with talk of witch hats!

Madre dios!

Amigos, please, write to your freinds in the world and highlight the cause. OUR MEXICO HAS NO SOMBRERO.

Only you can keep Mexico, Mexican.

El 3/7'sthshs (We've grown!  A bit!)

It has been 5 long years, and neither sombreros nor the second half of the joke have been produced.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

This is not going to end well.

[Junkenstein]

This ends with EOC explaining to idiot that he's in mexico.

He's probably going to be doing that from an adjacent cell, which is the bad news for him.


There is no good news.

[Doktor Howl]

This is not going to end well.

This is not going to end.

[Eater of Clowns]

I AM NOW RUNNING FROM MEXICO

You guys, this was fun, really this whole being Mexico thing? The election that I won by an incomparable landslide? The junta that deposed me and then forgot? A blast.

But I don't wanna be Mexico anymore. Doktor Howl, wanna be Mexico still because I don't. It's just like, phew, it's a fucking lot.

Vote Lizard Party 2020. Just please, please whatever you, do not vote Eater of Clowns for Mexico. Things are just all kinds of fucked up and I promise it's not anything I did it's just that as it turns out one man can't be a country I really thought it would be a pretty simple job but it's not.

And Project Infinite Mexico? Uh listen it's just best not to alarm anyone. Everything's cool with that, actually my FAQs were totally correct and it was a huge success so feel free for anyone to take credit for it. In fact, I insist.

LMNO do you want it? LMNO? Cain? Wanna be Mexico? Do you? Cram, hey CRAM have I got a country for you bud it's got loads of stuff! It's got history, it's got cuisine, it's got beaches and fucking like old temples and shit. Badass right? Great, so how about it, just be Mexico just for a little bit I promise I'll come right back.

I PROMISE

[Doktor Howl]

I AM NOW RUNNING FROM MEXICO

You guys, this was fun, really this whole being Mexico thing? The election that I won by an incomparable landslide? The junta that deposed me and then forgot? A blast.

But I don't wanna be Mexico anymore. Doktor Howl, wanna be Mexico still because I don't. It's just like, phew, it's a fucking lot.

Vote Lizard Party 2020. Just please, please whatever you, do not vote Eater of Clowns for Mexico. Things are just all kinds of fucked up and I promise it's not anything I did it's just that as it turns out one man can't be a country I really thought it would be a pretty simple job but it's not.

And Project Infinite Mexico? Uh listen it's just best not to alarm anyone. Everything's cool with that, actually my FAQs were totally correct and it was a huge success so feel free for anyone to take credit for it. In fact, I insist.

LMNO do you want it? LMNO? Cain? Wanna be Mexico? Do you? Cram, hey CRAM have I got a country for you bud it's got loads of stuff! It's got history, it's got cuisine, it's got beaches and fucking like old temples and shit. Badass right? Great, so how about it, just be Mexico just for a little bit I promise I'll come right back.

I PROMISE

Oh, no.  You wanted it, baby, you got it.

I shall content myself with the second half of the joke.

[altered]

I will take the Burden of Being Mexico off EoC’s hands. However, there cannot be another general election and he has to take credit and responsibility for Project Infinite Mexico. My terms are non-negotiable.

I am not campaigning, but I promise to restore Mexico to its traditional borders after the catastrophe of Project Infinite Mexico, and to deliver the second half of the joke.