Conquest of the Planet of the Bride of the Son of the Return of the Open Bar

[Elder Iptuous]

There was a turkey on my street this morning! I live in semi-urban squalor, this is no place for a turkey.

granted they live in the exurbs, but my folks have a peacock that wandered onto their property that has lived on their back porch for the past several years, and now a turkey has wandered onto their property.  now they get turkeys not infrequently, but this one is now the peacocks pet, and they pal around the property acting silly.

large birds that wander onto your property are a good omen, imo.
give it some food.

[Elder Iptuous]

Or that I'm going to wake up and find out I'm actually pissing all over my bed.

every time i piss.  for as long as i can remember.

MY BROTHER IN SUFFERING

so, i take it you have dreams occasionally where you have to piss and it's really difficult?  like you gotta push.  like your body doesn't want you to piss for some strange reason. so you try harder, and then finally you.... wake up just in time to not piss youself like an infant.
So when i have to piss when i'm actually awake, i get the anxiety of thinking perhaps i'm asleep.  which i have in turn dreamed about.
i have initiated lucid dreams because of this...

You fuckers are weird.

TGRR,
Just shits the bed and doesn't worry so damn much about it.

yes.  but you extrude wealth whereas i would simply leak shame.

Wrath?  Don't know about that.  Yesterday's curry, maybe.

nono... wealth.  ever since we switched to the good reverend's poo standard.

[Juana]

Turkies can still bite you after you cut off their heads, fyi.

That's fucked.

No, for real.  That shit is WRONG.  Even zombies die when you whack their heads off.

I actually want to see a story where that doesn't actually happen and a wad of people who thought they were prepared for the zombie apocalypse actually get turned into zombies anyway.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Or that I'm going to wake up and find out I'm actually pissing all over my bed.

every time i piss.  for as long as i can remember.

MY BROTHER IN SUFFERING

so, i take it you have dreams occasionally where you have to piss and it's really difficult?  like you gotta push.  like your body doesn't want you to piss for some strange reason. so you try harder, and then finally you.... wake up just in time to not piss youself like an infant.
So when i have to piss when i'm actually awake, i get the anxiety of thinking perhaps i'm asleep.  which i have in turn dreamed about.
i have initiated lucid dreams because of this...

You fuckers are weird.

TGRR,
Just shits the bed and doesn't worry so damn much about it.

yes.  but you extrude wealth whereas i would simply leak shame.

Wrath?  Don't know about that.  Yesterday's curry, maybe.

nono... wealth.  ever since we switched to the good reverend's poo standard.

I am a one man cornucopia, in that case.

I can crap us out of the recession. 

HANG ON, GREECE & CYPRUS!  I'M EATING LOTS OF CHEESE!

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Turkies can still bite you after you cut off their heads, fyi.

That's fucked.

No, for real.  That shit is WRONG.  Even zombies die when you whack their heads off.

I actually want to see a story where that doesn't actually happen and a wad of people who thought they were prepared for the zombie apocalypse actually get turned into zombies anyway.

I'm sort of planning on it.  I think I've mentioned this before...The GREAT thing about zombiepocalyspe is that you get to play both sides.  First you run around blasting everyone you knew in the head, then you get bit and respawn on the other team.

And then it's

EVERY DAY I'M SHUFFLIN'
\

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

Turkies can still bite you after you cut off their heads, fyi.

That's fucked.

No, for real.  That shit is WRONG.  Even zombies die when you whack their heads off.

I actually want to see a story where that doesn't actually happen and a wad of people who thought they were prepared for the zombie apocalypse actually get turned into zombies anyway.

Already happened: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Return_of_the_Living_Dead

[Juana]

Turkies can still bite you after you cut off their heads, fyi.

That's fucked.

No, for real.  That shit is WRONG.  Even zombies die when you whack their heads off.

I actually want to see a story where that doesn't actually happen and a wad of people who thought they were prepared for the zombie apocalypse actually get turned into zombies anyway.

I'm sort of planning on it.  I think I've mentioned this before...The GREAT thing about zombiepocalyspe is that you get to play both sides.  First you run around blasting everyone you knew in the head, then you get bit and respawn on the other team.

And then it's

EVERY DAY I'M SHUFFLIN'
\

I don't recall seeing you mention that, but I look forward to it.

Turkies can still bite you after you cut off their heads, fyi.

That's fucked.

No, for real.  That shit is WRONG.  Even zombies die when you whack their heads off.

I actually want to see a story where that doesn't actually happen and a wad of people who thought they were prepared for the zombie apocalypse actually get turned into zombies anyway.

Already happened: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Return_of_the_Living_Dead

Well, I'm still looking forward to Roger's spin on it.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Turkies can still bite you after you cut off their heads, fyi.

That's fucked.

No, for real.  That shit is WRONG.  Even zombies die when you whack their heads off.

I actually want to see a story where that doesn't actually happen and a wad of people who thought they were prepared for the zombie apocalypse actually get turned into zombies anyway.

I'm sort of planning on it.  I think I've mentioned this before...The GREAT thing about zombiepocalyspe is that you get to play both sides.  First you run around blasting everyone you knew in the head, then you get bit and respawn on the other team.

And then it's

EVERY DAY I'M SHUFFLIN'
\

I don't recall seeing you mention that, but I look forward to it.

Turkies can still bite you after you cut off their heads, fyi.

That's fucked.

No, for real.  That shit is WRONG.  Even zombies die when you whack their heads off.

I actually want to see a story where that doesn't actually happen and a wad of people who thought they were prepared for the zombie apocalypse actually get turned into zombies anyway.

Already happened: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Return_of_the_Living_Dead

Well, I'm still looking forward to Roger's spin on it.

That was kind of it, really.

I mean, after you get bit, the FUN may continue, but the commentary gets a little dry.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

http://www.theonion.com/articles/history-licking-its-chops-to-judge-george-w-bush,31921/

[tyrannosaurus vex]

THIS IS MY ANGRY FACE

So, riding around Manhattan on the subways for the last 2 weeks prompted me to do some random reading about subway systems and history on Wikipedia. This lead to larger learning about the rail systems and their histories across America in general, which led me to THIS ARTICLE, which makes me HATE HATE HATE.

Apparently, GM and their buddies decided, back in the 1940s, that they just weren't selling enough cars. So what did they do? They made better products for cheaper prices and got people to buy more cars, that's what!

HA HA HA, actually no.

They bought up all the trolley systems in a bunch of cities AND DISMANTLED THEM.

WE'LL SHOW THEM HOW TO GET AROUND THE CITY WITHOUT BUYING OUR CARS!

ugh.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Turkies can still bite you after you cut off their heads, fyi.

That's fucked.

No, for real.  That shit is WRONG.  Even zombies die when you whack their heads off.

Be careful what you do with the heads because they're still venomous.
And the body will keep moving until you cook it some. The old people say if you don't cook it right away, it'll keep moving until the sun goes down.

Ah, fuck, never mind. That's rattlesnakes.

TURKEYHEADS ARE STILL A MENACE, THOUGH.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

THIS IS MY ANGRY FACE

So, riding around Manhattan on the subways for the last 2 weeks prompted me to do some random reading about subway systems and history on Wikipedia. This lead to larger learning about the rail systems and their histories across America in general, which led me to THIS ARTICLE, which makes me HATE HATE HATE.

Apparently, GM and their buddies decided, back in the 1940s, that they just weren't selling enough cars. So what did they do? They made better products for cheaper prices and got people to buy more cars, that's what!

HA HA HA, actually no.

They bought up all the trolley systems in a bunch of cities AND DISMANTLED THEM.

WE'LL SHOW THEM HOW TO GET AROUND THE CITY WITHOUT BUYING OUR CARS!

ugh.

Yep.
And you can thank them for BUS FUMES, too.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

THIS IS MY ANGRY FACE

So, riding around Manhattan on the subways for the last 2 weeks prompted me to do some random reading about subway systems and history on Wikipedia. This lead to larger learning about the rail systems and their histories across America in general, which led me to THIS ARTICLE, which makes me HATE HATE HATE.

Apparently, GM and their buddies decided, back in the 1940s, that they just weren't selling enough cars. So what did they do? They made better products for cheaper prices and got people to buy more cars, that's what!

HA HA HA, actually no.

They bought up all the trolley systems in a bunch of cities AND DISMANTLED THEM.

WE'LL SHOW THEM HOW TO GET AROUND THE CITY WITHOUT BUYING OUR CARS!

ugh.

Yeah, there's a 20-year-old documentary on that floating around out there too, watched it at Berkeley back in the day. It was really good, and really horrifying to realize the degree to which America sold ITSELF up the river.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

THIS IS MY ANGRY FACE

So, riding around Manhattan on the subways for the last 2 weeks prompted me to do some random reading about subway systems and history on Wikipedia. This lead to larger learning about the rail systems and their histories across America in general, which led me to THIS ARTICLE, which makes me HATE HATE HATE.

Apparently, GM and their buddies decided, back in the 1940s, that they just weren't selling enough cars. So what did they do? They made better products for cheaper prices and got people to buy more cars, that's what!

HA HA HA, actually no.

They bought up all the trolley systems in a bunch of cities AND DISMANTLED THEM.

WE'LL SHOW THEM HOW TO GET AROUND THE CITY WITHOUT BUYING OUR CARS!

ugh.

Yeah, there's a 20-year-old documentary on that floating around out there too, watched it at Berkeley back in the day. It was really good, and really horrifying to realize the degree to which America sold ITSELF up the river.

I saw something like that on PBS once. Maybe the same one.
Did it have interviews with old folks saying how much people used to enjoy riding the trolleys? (As opposed to metro buses - UNNNNNGH)

[Richter]

Turkies can still bite you after you cut off their heads, fyi.

That's fucked.

No, for real.  That shit is WRONG.  Even zombies die when you whack their heads off.

Turkeys are winged ratfuck horrors.  Mean bastards, they can beat your ass with a flap of their wings.  Seriously, they can break your arm.

Standard turkey hunt procedure is to hide behind a tree and HOPE the turkey walks in front of you.  When it does, blow it's damn head off.  Your now-headless thanksgiving dinner will bolt.  Go catch it.