ITT: LMNO has inspired me (shameless schtick-stealing)

[Freeky]

This is great!

[tyrannosaurus vex]

ALSO....

THE CORPORATITUDES

Having visually ascertained a sizeable market segment showing interest in his philosoproduct, the Chief Head of Resource Investment and Strategy Traction stood behind his podium. The board of directors sat in semicircular formation in front of him, and he issued the following verbal memorandum to the company's employee base:

"The Company values employees of modest financial means, specifically due to their diligence and likelihood to endeavor to realize meaningful advancement opportunities.

The Company respecfully sympathizes with employees who have suffered personal setbacks, and seeks to guide and encourage them to move past whatever obstacles they face in their professional development.

The Company wishes to extend a word of encouragement to employees who work without drawing attention to themselves, and express its appreciation through enhanced profit sharing programs.

It is important to recognize the efforts of all employees who strive earnestly to adhere to all Company regulations and policies; these employees are valuable assets who understand that a job well done is its own reward.

The Executive Team urges all team members to remember to show professional courtesy to all coworkers, because we all wish to foster a synergistic and collaborative atmosphere for everyone at the Company.

The Company seeks to reward all problem-solvers! They embody the Mission Statement in everything they do.

Any employee who has been rejected or disenfranchised by following the rules should refuse to be discouraged; as Company stock prices rise, so will their value as team members. You may encounter resistance from less team-minded coworkers when standing  to established processes, but if you set a good example for your team, we can all work together to achieve positive results this quarter!

Every employee is an integral, important and unique piece of our organization! The Company values uniqueness, because we all contribute to our overall culture. Remember to wear your flair in good taste!"

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

That last one, more than the others, made me