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Dear LMNO

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, March 15, 2013, 02:35:51 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

March 15, 2013, 02:35:51 PM
I am exhausted, less than an hour of sleep.

Please do the following in corporate-speak:

1.  Express your regret about what happened to Squiddy's cat's penis.

2.  Endorse the recent company initiative concerning the making of toast on company time.

3.  Explain GIGGLES.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

LMNO

#1
March 15, 2013, 03:19:02 PM
While options for incentivizing recent events have ramped up since late Q3 to Q4, the impactful nature regarding the downsizing of the uric delivery mechanism on our hyperlocal Felis model has driven the mission-critical stakeholders into a spin-down of core competencies.

Heads up, team!  I'm sure many of you read the latest Take Five With Mike! email blast; if your cycle time prevented you from doing so, please take the time to look over it ASAP.  You'll be pleased to know that we are moving forward with the turnkey solution so recently submitted at our last "outside the box" meeting (which, by the way, has driven the client-centric co-opetition enterprise into the area of free value by this point)!  Going forward, we're going to leverage our knowledge processing team to best streamline our procedures and maximize efficiencies towards a seamless touchpoint following best practices for carving out time in our bizmeth in order to scorch brioche during normal business hours.

Alignment at the end of the day will break through the clutter and bring to the table a clear goal for countless diversity and empowerment for an exit strategy including face time with Generation X in terms of Globalization and option growth that will impact and leverage our milestone, moving forward on the runway for organic growth outside the box of the current paradigm shift lending proactivity reaching out for a sea change that will spin-up and streamline our survival strategy for sustainability, synergy, and wellness to give us a win-win.  Fuckers.

The Good Reverend Roger

#2
March 15, 2013, 03:40:43 PM
That is a GIFT. 
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

LMNO

#3
March 15, 2013, 03:56:07 PM
BRB - going to add 'Bullshit Artist' to my list of skills on Linked In.

Cain

#4
March 15, 2013, 04:20:18 PM
"Proficient in the dissemination of conceptual information not constrained by veracity".

LMNO

#5
March 15, 2013, 04:23:33 PM
I'd change that to "exceeding veracity", as negative buzzwords convey negativity, even if you negate it ("not").

Cain

#6
March 15, 2013, 07:02:52 PM
This is true.

To be honest, I'm out of practice.  I just have four or five stock email replies which I sent out, regardless of topic.  No-one has caught on...yet.
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