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Fun with the religious right.

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, April 10, 2013, 10:18:50 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

April 10, 2013, 10:18:50 PM
Next time you hear someone talk about Sodomites, ask them who the real Sodomites are:

Ezekiel 16:49-50

Quote49 "'Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy. 50 They were haughty and did detestable things before me. Therefore I did away with them as you have seen.

More to follow.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

navkat

#1
April 10, 2013, 10:22:15 PM
Sweet. This is gonna get tasty.

Anna Mae Bollocks

#2
April 10, 2013, 11:00:55 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 10, 2013, 10:18:50 PM
Next time you hear someone talk about Sodomites, ask them who the real Sodomites are:

Ezekiel 16:49-50

Quote49 "'Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy. 50 They were haughty and did detestable things before me. Therefore I did away with them as you have seen.

More to follow.

From some old correspondence with a lady who studied that story in the Tanakh:
QuoteI told him how in the Jewish telling of the story (which he wasn't familiar with), the true sins of Sodom were the lack of compassion and rampant materialism - cos they were. The Sodomites had no welfare, refused to look after their own, and if a stranger came to town and asked for water, they'd charge him for it.

And look what happened after that.
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

P3nT4gR4m

#3
April 11, 2013, 01:39:49 PM
Yeah but, that's Ezekiel which every good faithfool knows is all allegorical and shit and obviously to do with the buttsecks. Unlike, say Genesis which is historical and totally disproves evolution :kingmeh:

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
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"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

Cain

#4
April 11, 2013, 02:23:00 PM
1 John 2:9-11

Quote9 Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates a brother or sister is still in the darkness. 10 Anyone who loves their brother and sister lives in the light, and there is nothing in them to make them stumble. 11 But anyone who hates a brother or sister is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness. They do not know where they are going, because the darkness has blinded them.

Trivial

#5
April 12, 2013, 04:25:58 AM
Gomorrah always gets lumped in, wonder what their deal is.
Sexy Octopus of the Next Noosphere Horde

There are more nipples in the world than people.

Bruno

#6
April 12, 2013, 10:33:50 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 10, 2013, 10:18:50 PM
Next time you hear someone talk about Sodomites, ask them who the real Sodomites are:

Ezekiel 16:49-50

Quote49 "'Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy. 50 They were haughty and did detestable things before me. Therefore I did away with them as you have seen.

More to follow.

The King James version reads:

QuoteBehold, this was the iniquity of thy sister Sodom, pride, fulness of bread, and abundance of idleness was in her and in her daughters, neither did she strengthen the hand of the poor and needy.

Which translates in my mind to:

GOD HATES CARBS!

ALL PRAISE ST. ATKINS!!!

and then prolly some stuff about chik-fil-a sandwiches.
Formerly something else...

P3nT4gR4m

#7
April 12, 2013, 10:48:29 AM
Quote from: Mome Papess Trivial on April 12, 2013, 04:25:58 AM
Gomorrah always gets lumped in, wonder what their deal is.

Gomorrah was even worse than sodom. The Gomorrans were "eating da poo poo"

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

navkat

#8
April 12, 2013, 02:15:31 PM
I love that he asked the children to step out AFTER the "anal licking" segment of the talk.

P3nT4gR4m

#9
April 12, 2013, 05:34:29 PM
Quote from: navkat: navkat of...navkat! on April 12, 2013, 02:15:31 PM
I love that he asked the children to step out AFTER the "anal licking" segment of the talk.

Aside from Charlie the Unicorn, I've watched that clip more times than anything else on Youtube and I end myself every fucking time!

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

Cain

#10
April 16, 2013, 06:50:14 AM
Matthew 25:31-46

Quote31 "When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. 32 All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.

34 "Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'

37 "Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'

40 "The King will reply, 'Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.'

41 "Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42 For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43 I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.'

44 "They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?'

45 "He will reply, 'Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.'

46 "Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life."

P3nT4gR4m

#11
April 16, 2013, 02:54:01 PM
QuoteFor I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'

Okay so here's a tangent but I always wondered why the fuck so much of the bible follows this skull crushing formula of repeating a whole bunch of shit over and over like a game of "I went to market" but without the progression factor? Something to do with hypnotising your audience when you read the shit out in a loud booming monotone?

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

LMNO

#12
April 16, 2013, 04:01:41 PM
Old psychological trick.  "What I tell you three times is true."  But yeah, it also establishes a rhythm.

The Good Reverend Roger

#13
April 16, 2013, 09:54:35 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on April 16, 2013, 02:54:01 PM
QuoteFor I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'

Okay so here's a tangent but I always wondered why the fuck so much of the bible follows this skull crushing formula of repeating a whole bunch of shit over and over like a game of "I went to market" but without the progression factor? Something to do with hypnotising your audience when you read the shit out in a loud booming monotone?

Think of it as the bronze age equivalent of an internet forum.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Cain

#14
April 16, 2013, 09:59:10 PM
I wonder if its to aid in memorization for reciting?  You see this kind of thing in Greek epic poetry too, as I recall.  Not so sure if that cultural influence carried over to the Israelites though...if Phox were around, she could no doubt tell us if I'm on the right track or not.
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