Principia Discordia > Horrorology

Wrecked Time in Fat City, part I

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Doktor Howl:
Good day, my little love carbuncles of internet desire.  It is I, Doktor Howl, standing in for The Good Reverend Roger, who has yet again lost his shit in various embarrassing ways.  The world, you see, has grown far to amusing to be explained by religion, and once again requires SCIENCE.  And I know, as you know, that the world screams to have SCIENCE done to it.  In every orifice.

So here we are.  Just you and me and 7.3 billion humans, all alone together.  I don’t like the humans, and you don’t like the humans.  But you can’t really run away from what you are, because the legs you are running with are part of what you’re trying to flee.

So, anyway, on to business.  While I’ve been dead, I’ve done a lot more thinking about communication.  I have come up with some conclusions that seem to be almost universal, at least with respect to the United States.  Results may vary in other lands.  First, some definitions/de-coded statements and words:

“But” --> Ignore every word that preceded this one.

“I understand” --> I didn’t listen to a single word you said.

“I feel your pain” --> Go spread your tale of woe elsewhere.

“I have some issues with that” --> I am butthurt and I’m done listening.

There’s more, but you get the idea.  Language not used to directly convey information can be assumed to mean the exact opposite of what it seems to say.  Contrast it with the following:

“This fucking thing is broken” --> This fucking thing is broken.

“I love you” --> I love you.

“We had to let Harry go this week”  --> Harry doesn’t work here anymore.

Notice that the difference is that the first set of statements didn’t actually convey information, and the second set did.  We can form a hypothesis here, and that is that humans will give you factual information and package it in factual statements.  Humans will also feed you bullshit, and will package it in words that don’t actually say anything, but sound as if they do.

All jargon, I think, is based on this principle.  Jargon is widely taken to mean “language used by specific specialists, for the purpose of communicating within their specialty”.  The fact is, though, that what jargon actually means is “language which is used to define who is an insider and who is The Other.”  This is why jargon changes once the general population learns what it means…Thus disproving the commonly held concept of what “jargon” means.

More on this later.

Okay for now,

Uh oh.  Dok's back.  Hide the medical utensils.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel:
This is excellent!

That is my experience of jargon as well.
It's like an inside joke, designed to make you feel not welcome.

Excellent piece, Dok.

Anna Mae Bollocks:



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