Old Television Show Nostalgia: Tell us what you remember.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

The Doktor Howl Children's Hour:

The 1970s were sort of the golden age of childrens television.  You had the Banana Splits, HR Puffenstuff, and all manner of other brain damaged things spewing forth from the acid-damaged minds of TV producers that had come of age in the 60s.  But by far the worst programming was the "variety show" format, and the worst example of THAT was the Doktor Howl Children's Hour.

The format of the show was standard; six minutes of patter, nine minutes (severely edited to fit) of something badly animated from the lower end of the Hanna-Barbera stable, four minutes of back-and-forth between Doktor Howl and his dreadful Ventriloquist dummy "Nigel", six minutes of commercials scattered about, and five minutes of closing dialogue.

About half way through the first season, things started to go a little sideways.  The closing dialogue didn't seem to be scripted at this point, instead Doktor Howl would make a comment about what scientists were up to in those days, and then "Nigel" would rip him a new one for 4 minutes.

Compounding this was the fact that there was no background music, just the "sound" of an empty set, and the two of them talking (granted, the only music that could have done it justice was Tom Waits or maybe Tom Petty on his crazier days).  There was no studio audience by mid-season, for reasons that will become obvious shortly.

Anyway, when talking to people who remember the show, the last 5 minutes inspired comments like "I felt like I was watching footage from Dachau" and "It was like watching your little sister torture a gerbil to death", and "It hurt me as a child.  I hated it.  It was like watching a bad car accident in slow motion".

The Nigel doll didn't actually start swearing until the third season, by which time Doktor Howl looked physically and mentally drained.  There was no question of there being a 4th season, and in fact the Nigel doll taunted Doktor Howl with the claim that he would die during the final episode, right on national television.

Doktor Howl was almost fired multiple times, but after each "closed-door" meeting - to which he brought his Nigel doll - the show was allowed to continue.

Doktor Howl, obviously, became quite a sensation, especially after he apparently somehow altered the Nigel doll so that its eyes would glow red during the "5 minute hate", as the end of the show was nicknamed.  Howl was interviewed about the doll's behavior on a couple of occasions.  The first time he was asked, he just stared at the camera with a fixed smile and sweated, refusing to speak.  The second time, he went into hysterics about how "...that THING, that fucking THING...it's POSSESSED!  HELP ME!".  The interview was never aired on television, obviously, but word got around.

The last episode was never aired.  Doktor Howl was pronounced dead on the scene at the studio, of a massive coronary brought on by extremely elevated stress levels.

The Nigel doll was never seen again.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

 

I'm  not exactly sure why, but this reminds me of "Bumpity", a local Portland children's show about a bump in the lawn.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

 

I'm  not exactly sure why, but this reminds me of "Bumpity", a local Portland children's show about a bump in the lawn.

I wrote it based on the emotions evoked by old variety format shows.

In Canada, we had one on CBC where the host dressed up as a Mountie.  He had a monotone voice, and was allergic to the makeup used, so he looked like a frickin' corpse.  Scared the shit out of all of us.

Then there was THIS:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSwr-lPQxpc

This is what they did to us.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

 

I'm  not exactly sure why, but this reminds me of "Bumpity", a local Portland children's show about a bump in the lawn.

I wrote it based on the emotions evoked by old variety format shows.

In Canada, we had one on CBC where the host dressed up as a Mountie.  He had a monotone voice, and was allergic to the makeup used, so he looked like a frickin' corpse.  Scared the shit out of all of us.

Then there was THIS:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSwr-lPQxpc

This is what they did to us.

Oh my god, I remember the mountie! I lived near the Canadian border and the only TV station that came in was the CBC one.

OMG, that girl is saying "Yoo hoo!"

Here is a fine example of the wonders of Bumpity:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RP3KtLFBH-o

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

It's  like a strange, surreal purgatory.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

  It just needs the addition of a "5-minute Hate" to be perfect.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

It's  like a strange, surreal purgatory.

I keep expecting Bumpity to suddenly ask or say something totally inappropriate.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Then there was the Mary Tyler Moore show, about a female local news producer.  It was a light-hearted show about endless sexual harrassment in the workplace.  The one episode from season four was particularly egregious.

Mary:  "Lou, I'd like to try anchoring while Ted's on vacation."

Lou:  "Well, then I guess you need to learn what your knees are for, girl."  slides desk chair backwards

*laugh track*

[The Good Reverend Roger]

And who can forget the Chuckles Bites the Dust episode?

News anchor Ted Baxter is hired as the grand marshal for a circus parade, but is ordered by Lou Grant to turn down the "honor." Ted is upset and tries to rally Mary to his side. Mary agrees that Lou was perhaps too hasty in his order, but then tells Ted that Chuckles the Clown had been asked and has accepted the honor as grand marshal.

The next day, as Mary and Murray are watching Ted deliver the live newscast, Lou rushes into the newsroom in shock and tells the staff that Chuckles has been killed during the parade. He had dressed as the character Peter Peanut, and a rogue elephant tried to "shell" him, causing fatal injuries. The unusual circumstances of Chuckles' death provoke a wave of jokes, especially by Lou, Sue Ann Nivens, and Murray Slaughter (e.g., "You know how hard it is to stop after just one peanut!" and, "He could've gone as Billy Banana and had a gorilla peel him to death"). Meanwhile, Ted tries his best to ad lib a eulogy for Chuckles, whom he admitted he didn't know very well. Everyone continues their uncontrollable laughter, with the exception of Mary, who is appalled by her co-workers' apparent lack of respect for the deceased.

At the funeral, the jokes continue until the services are about to start, at which time a final scolding by Mary encourages all of the attendees to become properly somber. However, Mary alone begins to laugh uncontrollably as the minister recounts Chuckles' comedy characters and comic routines. She tries to stifle her emotions, but simply cannot contain herself during the eulogy:

"Chuckles the Clown brought pleasure to millions. The characters he created will be remembered by children and adults alike: Peter Peanut, Mr. Fee-Fi-Fo, Billy Banana, and my particular favorite, Aunt Yoo Hoo. And not just for the laughter they provided—there was always some deeper meaning to whatever Chuckles did. Do you remember Mr. Fee-Fi-Fo's little catch phrase? Remember how, when his arch rival Señor Kaboom hit him with a giant cucumber and knocked him down, Mr. Fee-Fi-Fo would always pick himself up, dust himself off, and say, 'I hurt my foo-foo'? Life's a lot like that. From time to time we all fall down and hurt our foo-foos. If only we could deal with it as simply and bravely and honestly as Mr. Fee-Fi-Fo. And what did Chuckles ask in return? Not much. In his own words, 'A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants.'"

Mary's co-workers appear shocked at her behavior. The minister tells the mortified Mary that laughter is actually in keeping with Chuckles' life and urges her to "Laugh... Laugh for Chuckles", at which point she breaks into uncontrollable sobbing.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I'll continue this when Nigel returns, tonight or tomorrow.

[Junkenstein]

Liking this.

Are you taking the 80's or may I?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Liking this.

Are you taking the 80's or may I?

Anyone can do anything.  I'm thinking 1970-1990 as the time frame.

[LMNO]

I feel horror.

[Junkenstein]

Late 80's-early 90's kidz (We use "Z"'s now because its Kool.) TV shows were a strange beast. This era took the great gift to society that is Tie-ins and "Pester-Power" and really showed what you could do when you turned the fully attention of the advertising beast upon formative minds.

With garish colours and hyperactive peers playing with plastic shit, a generation learned to find value in "Collecting the complete set". Tantrums were had in tens of thousands over the lack of a figurine. Could you face the playground indignity of not having all the things? Hard times for many.

These symbols and objects now prized by hipsters of all creeds and subjected to brutal hollywood half-lives present themselves in popular culture still with no appreciation of the horror they have wrought. The increased annual festive mayhems have seed here. The generation that needed all the toys is now the consumer base that must have all the things and a pay-day loan to get them NOW. I could name particular offenders, but the evidence is all around you.


The cycle continues to the modern day, and will accelerate gradually. Franchises are IP and will always be owned, overabused, forgotten and rediscovered. A new generation will pick up these cultural antiques and pass them on to their children. The generational message is clear. Collect all the things. Keep all the things.

And so the world will continue to descend. More to come.

[trippinprincezz13]

Then there was THIS:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSwr-lPQxpc

This is what they did to us.

  WTF was that and why couldn't I look away?!?!