Hyperbole and a Half: motherfucking UPDATE

[P3nT4gR4m]

Also - that thing in part 1 where she did the brain hurling abuse at her thing was totally bang on with my experience. That "commentator voice" internal dialogue can be hijacked via self-mindfuckery. It's like a jukebox or something. I can pick a different tune and it sings it. No real way of explaining how, tho, it was totally a case of muddling up a bunch of nonsensical shit that worked on me. Call it voodoo, call it armchair psychology or new-age bollix. I adopted a whole bunch of disparate, half arsed bits and pieces, mashed together in to a "semantic system" a programming language that only my head speaks.

I think a lot of people with a lot of different psychological things, depression included (in flavours similar to mine) would probably benefit from doing something similar.

I use the same internal dialogue hacks to dial back mania as well. My mania is just a normal temporary state of heightened emotion, like adrenaline "stoke" or "sadness", only it doesn't wear off or go away like it's supposed to but, instead, stays and escalates to a point where functional grip of reality starts to break down. All the while there's this internal dialogue yelling at me "YOU ARE A GOD NOW. TAKE IT BEYOND THE WALL!"

Switch that to "REMEMBER HOW YOU EARNED YOUR LAST TRIP TO HELL!"

Sorted.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Awesome seeing her back. 

And thought provoking as always. Now I'm wondering if thinking everything is pointless bullshit and nothing is necessarily depression, or if everything really IS pointless bullshit and nothing. Pretty sure it's the latter where I live. 

It's ALL where you live.  The rest of the world isn't like that.

Good to know my brain chemistry hasn't turned on me.  Yeah, stuff MATTERS when I'm not here. It's another world. 

Awesome seeing her back. 

And thought provoking as always. Now I'm wondering if thinking everything is pointless bullshit and nothing is necessarily depression, or if everything really IS pointless bullshit and nothing. Pretty sure it's the latter where I live. 

Everything really IS pointless bullshit and nothing. Until YOU decide differently. One of the keys to unlocking depression, for me, was when I had that "I like this but it's doesn't mean anything" trainwreck of thought, turning it into "it means something to me and that's all that matters"

I like that.

Second.

Thirded.

[Golden Applesauce]

The part about feeling bad for not wanting to kill herself - been there. You mope around, feel bad for moping around instead of accomplishing things... and somehow your brain has added 'kill self' to the list of life goals you haven't fulfilled today, you hypocritical coward.

[P3nT4gR4m]

Fuck yeah. That suicide conversation is a kicker. My self preservation instinct wouldn't let me. In my defense , I did try like hell to wear the fucker down with vitriol and self-hate but it stood fast. Other people aint so lucky.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Awesome seeing her back. 

And thought provoking as always. Now I'm wondering if thinking everything is pointless bullshit and nothing is necessarily depression, or if everything really IS pointless bullshit and nothing. Pretty sure it's the latter where I live. 

Everything really IS pointless bullshit and nothing. Until YOU decide differently. One of the keys to unlocking depression, for me, was when I had that "I like this but it's doesn't mean anything" trainwreck of thought, turning it into "it means something to me and that's all that matters"

That really is crucial.

One of the most misunderstood thing about depression is that not only can changing your thinking help reduce depression, it is critical for ending it. This doesn't mean you can "wish your depression away" or "cure depression through the power of positive thinking". Positive thinking can actually make depression worse. But changing how you think about the world and your place in it can have a real, measurable effect on lifting depression. Antidepressants can be a useful part of that process because they can get you to the point where you are able to change your perspective so that you can find meaning in something, like Allie and her piece of corn, but too often antidepressants are used as THE treatment instead of a valuable part of the treatment.

[P3nT4gR4m]

Awesome seeing her back. 

And thought provoking as always. Now I'm wondering if thinking everything is pointless bullshit and nothing is necessarily depression, or if everything really IS pointless bullshit and nothing. Pretty sure it's the latter where I live. 

Everything really IS pointless bullshit and nothing. Until YOU decide differently. One of the keys to unlocking depression, for me, was when I had that "I like this but it's doesn't mean anything" trainwreck of thought, turning it into "it means something to me and that's all that matters"

That really is crucial.

One of the most misunderstood thing about depression is that not only can changing your thinking help reduce depression, it is critical for ending it. This doesn't mean you can "wish your depression away" or "cure depression through the power of positive thinking". Positive thinking can actually make depression worse. But changing how you think about the world and your place in it can have a real, measurable effect on lifting depression. Antidepressants can be a useful part of that process because they can get you to the point where you are able to change your perspective so that you can find meaning in something, like Allie and her piece of corn, but too often antidepressants are used as THE treatment instead of a valuable part of the treatment.

Srsly, not trying to refute your point in the slightest. Anti-D's are a gift from god for millions of people but you totally don't want to meet me on them 

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

The thing for me is that getting out of depression takes work. Sometimes you need medications to be able to get the work done, sometimes they put you on the wrong medication at first, sometimes the work you need to do is wildly different from what someone else had to do, but the idea that a pill will fix the problem thinking really pisses me off. It's an important part (for many), but it's not the whole of it. And I don't think the work can be done alone.

[President Television]

Yeah, it takes work. Work and discipline, I find. It's weird, but I found a degree of self-discipline actually made me a bit more flexible in my thinking. For me, depression took the form of a rigid dogma, and forcing myself to step back and think "It's just your brain being retarded, take another go at it with logic" tended to totally short it out. Another thought I found helpful when my friends started telling me it was all a choice(the more I think about them, the shittier people they seem to be. I think I'm beginning to detect a pattern here.) was "You can't choose what to feel, but you can choose not to be defeated by it". For now, it's my standby whenever the depression comes back. I just go through the motions as well as I can and ride it out, and it seems to resolve itself a lot more quickly and thoroughly than when I stress out over not being happy enough.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

I found a tiny shriveled kernel of corn while I was working today. Not even joking.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

I'm still waiting for my fucked up oldass piece of corn.

"To-MORROW! To-MORROW! I LOVE YOU tomorrow..."

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I found a tiny shriveled kernel of corn while I was working today. Not even joking.

LOVE!