Author Topic: So, this isn't the PD you wanted.  (Read 705 times)

Doktor Howl

  • Вся ваша база принадлежит нам
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 33330
  • Horrible Bastard
    • View Profile
So, this isn't the PD you wanted.
« on: May 28, 2013, 07:05:41 pm »
So, this isn't the Discordia you ordered.  You checked off the boxes you wanted, and you made damn good and sure the shipping assholes knew which box of crazy you wanted sent...But, sure as hell, they fucked it up, and you got someone else's box of broken glass and mad dog's shit to pour into your skull.

Well, given the returns and refunds policy that the universe operates under, you have two choices:  1)  Throw it away, and 2) Pour it in your skull anyway, just to see what happens.

The first option doesn't work, because Discordia will follow you around ANYWAY, like a slightly deranged puppy.  If puppies came with spikes and razor edges and if the puppy were prone to stating ideas that make you very uncomfortable.  It's there to stay.  You can't un-order it, because unbeknownst to you, it was already in your head before you ordered it, or you wouldn't have placed the order in the first place.

The second option, well, there's the secret, the horrible secret that they don't TELL you when you place your order:  There IS NO Discordia made to spec.  What there is, is a white hot elastic ball of fun that you stuff in your head...And then you CHANGE IT to suit your interests.  Is your Discordia full of pinealism, and you wanted The Hideous Truth™ option?  Or vice-versa?  Then YOU have to roll up your sleeves and do a little DIY work.  YOU have to put the mental EFFORT into it, you have to shape it yourself.  And there is NO aftermarket support.

So, when PD isn't what you wanted it to be, the solution isn't to walk away, because we're still there.  You can't run away from what you are, because the legs that carry you are themselves part of what you are running from.

No, you shake off the autism, and you vomit your ideas all over those around you.  You get your shoulder under that shit and heave it into the right position.  Of course, if done properly, everyone ELSE is doing the same thing, and your Discordia will never actually be what you expect...Which is THE WHOLE POINT.  If you're comfortable and satisfied, IT'S NOT DISCORDIA.  And if YOU are the only one pushing, then it's not Discordia, it's a cult of personality.  You TV, so to speak.

I can't speak for anyone else, but I don't actually WANT my ideal Discordia, because then it wouldn't BE Discordia, it would be something else entirely, and probably something awful that I haven't even had NIGHTMARES about yet.

So sign me up.  Send me the crazy, the jangled nerves and sleepless nights and the fun that always goes just a LITTLE TOO FAR for my comfort.  I was MADE for this shit.  It's what I AM.  It's what I DO.

And I hope it's what you are, too.

Okay for now,
Dok
"And you don't stop."
- Harry Daghlian

"A penny saved is a penny depreciated."
- Benjamin Franklin

Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.

  • Turbo-Charged Holder of the Involuntary Vasectomy Land Speed Record
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 5454
  • Gatling Geyser of Rainbow AIDS
    • View Profile
Re: So, this isn't the PD you wanted.
« Reply #1 on: May 28, 2013, 07:23:48 pm »
 :horrormirth: :fap: :horrormirth:

This is one of those sad but true and FABULOUS things, I think. We all want something and we know JUST WHAT IT SHOULD BE, GODDAMNIT. But so does everyone else. And when smashing all that shit together sometimes it looks like Play-doh made from vomit instead of a da Vinci sculpture. Which is fair, since I think sometimes we use our vomit as an artistic medium but it sure does smell and attract bugs n' all.
Weevil-Infested Badfun Wrongsex Referee From The 9th Earth
Slick and Deranged Wombat of Manhood Questioning
Hulking Dormouse of Lust and DESPAIR™
Gatling Geyser of Rainbow AIDS

"The only way we can ever change anything is to look in the mirror and find no enemy." - Akala  'Find No Enemy'.

Doktor Howl

  • Вся ваша база принадлежит нам
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 33330
  • Horrible Bastard
    • View Profile
Re: So, this isn't the PD you wanted.
« Reply #2 on: May 28, 2013, 07:53:45 pm »
:horrormirth: :fap: :horrormirth:

This is one of those sad but true and FABULOUS things, I think. We all want something and we know JUST WHAT IT SHOULD BE, GODDAMNIT. But so does everyone else. And when smashing all that shit together sometimes it looks like Play-doh made from vomit instead of a da Vinci sculpture. Which is fair, since I think sometimes we use our vomit as an artistic medium but it sure does smell and attract bugs n' all.

I bought Discordia, not a Testor's snap together model.
"And you don't stop."
- Harry Daghlian

"A penny saved is a penny depreciated."
- Benjamin Franklin

Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.

  • Turbo-Charged Holder of the Involuntary Vasectomy Land Speed Record
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 5454
  • Gatling Geyser of Rainbow AIDS
    • View Profile
Re: So, this isn't the PD you wanted.
« Reply #3 on: May 28, 2013, 07:56:30 pm »
Oops.
Weevil-Infested Badfun Wrongsex Referee From The 9th Earth
Slick and Deranged Wombat of Manhood Questioning
Hulking Dormouse of Lust and DESPAIR™
Gatling Geyser of Rainbow AIDS

"The only way we can ever change anything is to look in the mirror and find no enemy." - Akala  'Find No Enemy'.

Doktor Howl

  • Вся ваша база принадлежит нам
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 33330
  • Horrible Bastard
    • View Profile
Re: So, this isn't the PD you wanted.
« Reply #4 on: May 28, 2013, 08:00:36 pm »
Oops.

Besides, this is too gooey to snap together.
"And you don't stop."
- Harry Daghlian

"A penny saved is a penny depreciated."
- Benjamin Franklin

Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.

  • Turbo-Charged Holder of the Involuntary Vasectomy Land Speed Record
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 5454
  • Gatling Geyser of Rainbow AIDS
    • View Profile
Re: So, this isn't the PD you wanted.
« Reply #5 on: May 28, 2013, 08:04:09 pm »
Weevil-Infested Badfun Wrongsex Referee From The 9th Earth
Slick and Deranged Wombat of Manhood Questioning
Hulking Dormouse of Lust and DESPAIR™
Gatling Geyser of Rainbow AIDS

"The only way we can ever change anything is to look in the mirror and find no enemy." - Akala  'Find No Enemy'.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

  • v=1/3πr2h
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 77637
  • The sky tastes like red exuberance.
    • View Profile
Re: So, this isn't the PD you wanted.
« Reply #6 on: May 28, 2013, 11:47:05 pm »
I dropped my Discordia and now it's covered in dog hair and floor grit.  :sad:
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


Doktor Howl

  • Вся ваша база принадлежит нам
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 33330
  • Horrible Bastard
    • View Profile
Re: So, this isn't the PD you wanted.
« Reply #7 on: May 28, 2013, 11:54:22 pm »
I dropped my Discordia and now it's covered in dog hair and floor grit.  :sad:

10 second rule applies.
"And you don't stop."
- Harry Daghlian

"A penny saved is a penny depreciated."
- Benjamin Franklin

Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.

  • Turbo-Charged Holder of the Involuntary Vasectomy Land Speed Record
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 5454
  • Gatling Geyser of Rainbow AIDS
    • View Profile
Re: So, this isn't the PD you wanted.
« Reply #8 on: May 28, 2013, 11:54:37 pm »
I dropped my Discordia and now it's covered in dog hair and floor grit.  :sad:

I think adding more goo will solve this problem as well.
Weevil-Infested Badfun Wrongsex Referee From The 9th Earth
Slick and Deranged Wombat of Manhood Questioning
Hulking Dormouse of Lust and DESPAIR™
Gatling Geyser of Rainbow AIDS

"The only way we can ever change anything is to look in the mirror and find no enemy." - Akala  'Find No Enemy'.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

  • v=1/3πr2h
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 77637
  • The sky tastes like red exuberance.
    • View Profile
Re: So, this isn't the PD you wanted.
« Reply #9 on: May 29, 2013, 12:36:24 am »
I dropped my Discordia and now it's covered in dog hair and floor grit.  :sad:

10 second rule applies.

 :lulz:
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”