HEURISTICS PROJECT!

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

The idea of a clean house and ONE FUCKING DAY AT HOME where nobody demands anything of me and I don't have any deadlines or anywhere I have to be is all I want.

I can see that.

I just want a week out in the desert.  I haven't done that in FOREVER.

Sometimes getting away is necessary. I miss road trips.

I don't have to drive that far.  45 minutes, tops.

I don't, either, but I no longer trust my car enough to drive it 45 minutes outside of town, and I don't have the time to take a day or two off anyway.

Neither do I.

But I need to anyway.

What do you do in the desert for a whole week?

[The Johnny]

What IS there one can't do? Tons of sunshine, pretty animals to contemplate and pet, some plants you can EAT. And there's that pretty girl in the oasis waving at me you know?

[Doktor Howl]

The idea of a clean house and ONE FUCKING DAY AT HOME where nobody demands anything of me and I don't have any deadlines or anywhere I have to be is all I want.

I can see that.

I just want a week out in the desert.  I haven't done that in FOREVER.

Sometimes getting away is necessary. I miss road trips.

I don't have to drive that far.  45 minutes, tops.

I don't, either, but I no longer trust my car enough to drive it 45 minutes outside of town, and I don't have the time to take a day or two off anyway.

Neither do I.

But I need to anyway.

What do you do in the desert for a whole week?

Froth at the mouth and talk to my dead uncle.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

The idea of a clean house and ONE FUCKING DAY AT HOME where nobody demands anything of me and I don't have any deadlines or anywhere I have to be is all I want.

I can see that.

I just want a week out in the desert.  I haven't done that in FOREVER.

Sometimes getting away is necessary. I miss road trips.

I don't have to drive that far.  45 minutes, tops.

I don't, either, but I no longer trust my car enough to drive it 45 minutes outside of town, and I don't have the time to take a day or two off anyway.

Neither do I.

But I need to anyway.

What do you do in the desert for a whole week?

Froth at the mouth and talk to my dead uncle.

Beats eating strange lizards, I guess.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

The idea of a clean house and ONE FUCKING DAY AT HOME where nobody demands anything of me and I don't have any deadlines or anywhere I have to be is all I want.

I can see that.

I just want a week out in the desert.  I haven't done that in FOREVER.

Sometimes getting away is necessary. I miss road trips.

I don't have to drive that far.  45 minutes, tops.

I don't, either, but I no longer trust my car enough to drive it 45 minutes outside of town, and I don't have the time to take a day or two off anyway.

Neither do I.

But I need to anyway.

What do you do in the desert for a whole week?

Froth at the mouth and talk to my dead uncle.

Beats eating strange lizards, I guess.

Says you.

[Doktor Howl]

The idea of a clean house and ONE FUCKING DAY AT HOME where nobody demands anything of me and I don't have any deadlines or anywhere I have to be is all I want.

I can see that.

I just want a week out in the desert.  I haven't done that in FOREVER.

Sometimes getting away is necessary. I miss road trips.

I don't have to drive that far.  45 minutes, tops.

I don't, either, but I no longer trust my car enough to drive it 45 minutes outside of town, and I don't have the time to take a day or two off anyway.

Neither do I.

But I need to anyway.

What do you do in the desert for a whole week?

Froth at the mouth and talk to my dead uncle.

Beats eating strange lizards, I guess.

Balls.  I AM THE MIGHTY HUNTER.  RAWRRRR!

[EK WAFFLR]

 A week in the desert.... I wanny try that.

[Doktor Howl]

Come on over.

But thread drift should stop now.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Come on over.

But thread drift should stop now.

S'OK, as long as it doesn't get too long for me to dig the answers out on Sunday.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

Come on over.

But thread drift should stop now.

S'OK, as long as it doesn't get too long for me to dig the answers out on Sunday.

Sunday is SO FAR AWAY 

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Come on over.

But thread drift should stop now.

S'OK, as long as it doesn't get too long for me to dig the answers out on Sunday.

Sunday is SO FAR AWAY 

Yeah. 

I just went through everybody's list again and I think mine had the crappiest jobs.
Need to get out of here. [/obvious] It's warping my worldview.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Come on over.

But thread drift should stop now.

S'OK, as long as it doesn't get too long for me to dig the answers out on Sunday.

Sunday is SO FAR AWAY 

NNNNOOO IT IS COMING LIKE A TRAIN DOWN A TRACK, TOOOOOOT TOOOOOT!!!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I might do it before then if I don't have more pressing homework. I love that this is something I get to do for "homework" though. 

[The Johnny]

Well, all aside what i commented you, its interesting how some very subtle details of elections of appearance, and even in some cases consequences in appearance derived from a lifestyle, give hints as to what someone is and/or does... a type of non-verbal and very subtle communication.

I'm sure all of us have two things about us: things that people recurrently think that we are/do that we aren't, and things that people can infer correctly just from small things like posture, clothing, body complexion, etc, etc

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

TIME FOR THE REVEAL:

1.
Guesses:
Manager at American Apparel
Teacher, either K-5 or community college.
Something in theater. Set design or prompter maybe.
Yankee Candle employee, month 3.
Preschool/kindergarten teacher
Lawyer
Teacher
Librarian
Librarian or Cellist
Coroner

Actual occupation: Chemist


2.
Guesses:
He's a bond broker and she's a stay-at-home mom.
Guy on left, lawyer.  Lady on right also lawyer.
Guy: Manager, Girl: something in IT
unemployed salesman.  Just started his 2nd bachelors in philosophy
Office drones
Retired made a living selling things to hipsters.
Office Manager & IT manager
The man is some kind of upper management. Woman looks normal.
Him: Software Engineer Her: Human Resources
He's a dystopian erotic science fiction writer, she's a dominatrix

Actual occupations: He's a museum display designer, she's a historian


3.
Guesses:
Lawyer. Totally a lawyer.
Tradesman.  Not a welder.  Probably a carpenter.
Maintenance guy
Artist
Musician (old country/americana)
Doctor
Builder
Radio Show Host
Farrier

Actual occupation: Tilesetter


4.
Guesses:
Bartender
Physician or nurse.
Teacher
Successful reiki person
Works at a Pharmacy
Chef
Office worker
Receptionist
Birthday party clown

Actual occupation: Massage therapist


5.
Guesses:
Runs a bike shop
US congressman.
Designer
Vinyl pusher / sperm donor
Cashier
Intern, recently graduated?
Art school teacher
Micro-Brewer
Graphic Designer
Accountant

Actual occupation: Paralegal


6.
Guesses:
Call center rep
Retail clerk.  Much to his own surprise.
Gamer/Unemployed
Programs in machine code from memory
Supermarket grunt
Veterinarian
Starbucks
Unemployed, but goes to bars and clubs aimed at a younger crowd.
Waiter
Lutheran priest

Actual occupation: Porn store clerk


7.
Guesses:
Unemployed
IT neckbeardy type
Waiter
Lab Tech
cook at a fast food place or a hospital cafeteria
Manages a band
Public relations.
Intern
Electrician
Pro BMX rider

Actual occupation: Commercial photographer


8.
Guesses:
Real estate agent
Drives a forklift
Manager
"In a band"
WalMart warehouse
IT guy at his job.
Consultant
Malpractice lawyer
Store manager
High School Teacher

Actual occupation: Network security


9.
Guesses:
IT
Office worker of some type.
Teller
Either help Desk or Nurse
Office/clerical
Science Teacher, or New Age Shop owner
LARPer and fanfic writer
Nurse
Town Clerk
Forensic scatologist

Actual occupation: Tissue recovery specialist at the eye bank


10.
IT
Artist.  Something to do with metals.
Mechanic
Blacksmith
Bartender
Cop
Musician
IT help desk
Pool hall hustler

Actual occupation: Lawyer


11.
Guesses:
Interpreter
Teacher
Painter
Unemployed
Engineer
Outgoing Call Center Manager
Art forger

Actual occupation: ESOL teacher


12.
Guesses:
Line cook
Trades again.  Again, not a welder.  Not sure.
Chef
massage therapist
Plumber or carpenter
Cook
Bartender
Artisan
Community Theater Organizer
Police informant

Actual occupation: Actor



13.
Guesses:
Administration
No idea, but hates the people she works with.
Dancer
Retail slave
Teacher
Office something
Stay at home mom
Therapist
Unicycle stuntwoman

Actual occupation: Financial analyst


14.
Guesses:
School teacher
Artist
Banker
call center supervisor
Owns a shop
Bank Manager
Receptionist
Socialite, active volunteer in church / school groups
Young Adult Fiction Author
Slaughterhouse middle manager

Actual occupation: High school French teacher


15.
Guesses:
Artist
Cop
Runs a hobby shop
writer
Works with disabled kids - therapist of some kind
Rich, or just a husband
Engineer
Robotics Engineer
On welfare

Actual occupation: Accountant


Thank you for playing!