Chasing the Black Dragon, a tale.

[EK WAFFLR]

Part one: Cup of Brown Joy.

Chapter one: You say "Herbal", I say "No Thanks".

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"Herbal?! You gave me herbal?" Arthur spit out his tea, and gave his valet the evil eye. "What is the meaning of this, Carruthers? Are you trying to kill me?"
Carruthers cleared his throat, giving the impression that he thought very little of Arthur's hissy fit indeed. "Yes, sir. I'm afraid we are all out of your regular tea." "By Jove, Carruthers, out of tea? But why didn't you just stroll over to the shop?" Arthur said, eyeballing his manservant with malice aforethought.
"I did to the shop, sir. They were sold out. The manager said hat they hadn't received any tea for weeks. When I returned, I called a colleague of mine to borrow some tea, a task I found most embarrassing, sir. However, the story was the same there. It seems that there's no proper tea to be had in the entire area of Greater London. My apologies, sir."
Arthur fell silent for a bit. He brooded with a passion. This was a crisis! A disaster of epic proportions! Arthur needed, no, craved his tea. He would sell his own grandmother for a cup. Well, he'd sell your grandmother. He let out a deep sigh, deflating like an old zeppelin.
"This is dire news, Carruthers. I need my tea. And herbal just won't do. No right-thinking man drinks herbal. Say, you haven't happened to read anything about it in the papers, or heard something on the radio?"
"I'm afraid not, sir. I find it very mysterious, to be honest." The manservant looked nonplussed, or at least not as plussed as usual. This troubled Arthur. Carruthers were his intellectual superior in almost every aspect, and he secretly wondered if God had the intention of turning his life into a Wodehouse novel. He hoped not.
Arthur brooded a bit more. Then, he got a determined look on his face, stood up and walked towards the front door.
"I must investigate, Carruthers. This tealessness can't continue. I shall comb every tea shop in London! "
"Very well, sir. If sir doesn't mind, I will telephone my colleagues to see if I can find out some more," Carruthers said.
"Very good, Carruthers, get right on that!"

Arthur hated using public transport, but he didn't dare drive his care in his current state. Besides, driving in London was a hassle at the best of times. As the metro noisily took him to Oxford Street, he daydreamed about doing 90mph down it in his '37 Cord 812.
The metro stopped, and he got off, almost running to the nearest tea shop. As he entered it, he noticed a distinct lack of items on the shelves. There were plenty accessories and postcards, but very little tea. Arthur asked the proprietor about this.
"I'm afraid I don't have any answers. I haven't been able to find fresh tea for weeks. The only teas I have left are herbals."
Arthur shuddered. "But, why has this happened? And why haven't the news reported on it?"
"It's baffling, isn't it? But I know as little as you, I'm afraid."
Arthur thanked the proprietor and left.

He spent the rest of the day visiting all the stores he could find, all had the same story to report, and nobody knew why. Defeated, Arthur went home. The valet had no news, as his manservant colleagues knew nothing either.

That night, Arthur wept himself to sleep, and dreamt of horrible things.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Hm, an intriguing start! No tea in London?

[EK WAFFLR]

Thanks!

No tea, indeed.

[Freeky]

This seems like it will be a silly story.  I like it so far!

[EK WAFFLR]

Seems so, doesn't it? Thanks!

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

I can hear my British buddies wailing in anguish at the very thought. I can't wait to see what happens next!

[Golden Applesauce]

Excited !

Do I need to go read some Wodehouse novels?

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

No tea? Bloody hell!

[EK WAFFLR]

I can hear my British buddies wailing in anguish at the very thought. I can't wait to see what happens next!

Haha, mine, too!

Excited !

Do I need to go read some Wodehouse novels?

I think you should, but that's only because I'm a huge fan. 

No tea? Bloody hell!

There's herbal, though. Eww. 



Hopefully I'll have another chapter up today.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

I can hear my British buddies wailing in anguish at the very thought. I can't wait to see what happens next!

Haha, mine, too!

Excited !

Do I need to go read some Wodehouse novels?

I think you should, but that's only because I'm a huge fan. 

No tea? Bloody hell!

There's herbal, though. Eww. 



Hopefully I'll have another chapter up today.

If we want to get super technical, there isn't, in fact, any tea. Herbal 'teas' are actually tisanes. The only proper 'tea' is the stuff that actually contains actual tea leaves.

[Doktor Howl]

[Golden Applesauce]

Aren't tea leaves a kind of herb, though?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Aren't tea leaves a kind of herb, though?

Yes. They are the leaf (herb) of the tea bush, Camellia Sinensis. "Herbal tea" is a misnomer. What CPD said is accurate, which is that other infusions are, properly, not teas, but tisanes.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

I can hear my British buddies wailing in anguish at the very thought. I can't wait to see what happens next!

Haha, mine, too!

Excited !

Do I need to go read some Wodehouse novels?

I think you should, but that's only because I'm a huge fan. 

No tea? Bloody hell!

There's herbal, though. Eww. 



Hopefully I'll have another chapter up today.

If we want to get super technical, there isn't, in fact, any tea. Herbal 'teas' are actually tisanes. The only proper 'tea' is the stuff that actually contains actual tea leaves.

By Jove! He's a man of distinction!

[EK WAFFLR]

CPD and Nigel, thanks! I'm going to use the shit out of those facts!