Relax-O-Matic 5000

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Are you tired of downtime? Is the stress of enjoying yourself getting too much to handle?

What you need is the Relax-O-Matic 5000!

Relax-O-Matic will free up all of your leisure time so that you can do things that are Productive^TM. No more will you have to deal with the inconvenience of daydreaming or doodling. Relax-O-Matic will take care of all of the unpleasant mess of problem-solving and creativity for you, leaving you to go through the motions and follow the instructions that it prints out for you.

If you're too busy for friends, Relax-O-Matic will be a friend for you, remembering birthdays and socializing in your stead. Who needs the chaos of human contact anyway? Relax-O-Matic will even call your mother when she complains that she never hears from you and will feed her all relevant information on your new-found life as a component.

The need to have fun is a thing of the past, whether it's Saturday bowling or going out to the Pub. Relax-O-Matic will have that hangover for you while you get down to the important things, like making some money and being an underappreciated component.

Relax-O-Matic 5000 has additional features that the 4999.9.5 model lacks, like sexing up your man and/or woman for you, without the need to worry about their personal satisfaction; reading that book you always wanted to; or taking a stroll through the park on a sunny but not overly humid day; EVEN RETIRE FOR YOU!

You too can continue to put your nose to the wheel for the remainder of your existence for one easy payment of $Soul.95!

Call now, while supplies are unlimited!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

  This is great.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

This is great.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

You're on a roll, Twid.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

You're on a roll, Twid.

See if I can keep it going. Gotta pee and refuel and neglect more math first. 

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

I spent the last hour making a PDF brochure of this. I don't think it's dystopic enough but it was entertaining.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I'd like to see it, if you feel it's ready.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Needs a border and perhaps a background. Not sure about the font colors . . . but I have shit to do and don't have time to play with it any more tonight. Linky-link. Twid, if this isn't cool, say the word and I shall yanketh it downeth.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Needs a border and perhaps a background. Not sure about the font colors . . . but I have shit to do and don't have time to play with it any more tonight. Linky-link. Twid, if this isn't cool, say the word and I shall yanketh it downeth.

Go for it! Attribution, by default, is to Nephew Twiddleton.

If it's not music, it's reproduce at will, unless stated otherwise.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

I love the PDF!

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

Needs a border and perhaps a background. Not sure about the font colors . . . but I have shit to do and don't have time to play with it any more tonight. Linky-link. Twid, if this isn't cool, say the word and I shall yanketh it downeth.

I found a site with a TON of public domain images from old books, lots of victorian borders and whatnot.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Needs a border and perhaps a background. Not sure about the font colors . . . but I have shit to do and don't have time to play with it any more tonight. Linky-link. Twid, if this isn't cool, say the word and I shall yanketh it downeth.

Go for it! Attribution, by default, is to Nephew Twiddleton.

If it's not music, it's reproduce at will, unless stated otherwise.

Updated to attribute. Lemme know if it works. :P Great thing about Drop Box, you just throw it in and the link doesn't change. :P

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Needs a border and perhaps a background. Not sure about the font colors . . . but I have shit to do and don't have time to play with it any more tonight. Linky-link. Twid, if this isn't cool, say the word and I shall yanketh it downeth.

I found a site with a TON of public domain images from old books, lots of victorian borders and whatnot.

That sounds awesome. I remember some of the stuff you put together when you first got here. It was amazing. I don't know if I'm that talented but I enjoy playing around with fonts. :P

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Needs a border and perhaps a background. Not sure about the font colors . . . but I have shit to do and don't have time to play with it any more tonight. Linky-link. Twid, if this isn't cool, say the word and I shall yanketh it downeth.

Go for it! Attribution, by default, is to Nephew Twiddleton.

If it's not music, it's reproduce at will, unless stated otherwise.

Updated to attribute. Lemme know if it works. :P Great thing about Drop Box, you just throw it in and the link doesn't change. :P

I like it. 

The horrible truth is that everyone is their own Relax-O-Matic.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

Needs a border and perhaps a background. Not sure about the font colors . . . but I have shit to do and don't have time to play with it any more tonight. Linky-link. Twid, if this isn't cool, say the word and I shall yanketh it downeth.

I found a site with a TON of public domain images from old books, lots of victorian borders and whatnot.

That sounds awesome. I remember some of the stuff you put together when you first got here. It was amazing. I don't know if I'm that talented but I enjoy playing around with fonts. :P

http://fromoldbooks.org/
The search function is kind of awful, but eventually you get your head around it.