A Deluge of Vomit: Modern Zen in Theory and Practice

[tyrannosaurus vex]

It is often said that the wise are silent. Listeners. That they weigh the evidence before them, before calmly -- and collectively -- reach a level-headed decision. They don't jump to conclusions. They don't put their feet in their mouths. They toe the line. They always keep one eye on themselves and one eye on the world around them, so they know when and how to act.

It was this wisdom, we are told, that built the Pyramids and the Eiffel Tower. It was wise men and women -- well, mostly wise men -- who knew what to do when the Plague struck down a third of Europe. These men who knew how to respond and what to expect when the Twin Towers fell. Wise people. Brave people. Loud, wise, silent people.

So, of course, we are told to be wise as well. To achieve Great Things, and appreciate Small Things. To listen. To be silent. We are encourage to achieve wonders by being meek. Because all the great people in history started out "small," too.

"Abraham Lincoln invented Tic-Tac-Toe while teaching himself how to write 15 different languages on the back of a shovel. So you be like Abe! You be poor!" We are told.

This is all bullshit, and therefore, we endorse it completely. I mean, shit. You gotta "believe" something, right? Might as well be this! Fuck it! What do we care? It gives you an ethos, keeps you from wandering around the planet stabbing and shooting things (well, hold on. Unless they deserve it. Then it's OK.) You get to completely ignore the whole "what the fuck is actually happening around me" thing, and everybody else does so fuck, why not you too? Right? So yeah. If you want to believe that what the fuck do we care. You go right ahead and do that until you turn blue in the soul.

ANYWAY...

Here's the problem.

That story up there? Yeah, it's bullshit, I know we told you already but listen, you half-spilled bag of turds, that story was concocted and propogated by exactly the same assholes who are now telling you that genetically modified food is good for you, being spied on constantly by your government is "for your own good," that the government can be as secret as it wants to be but you can't even drive a fucking car with window tint any more resilient that that thin film of bullshit "protective wax" you get at the car wash for an extra three bucks. They're absolutely fucking with us (you know, us, the world out here), and they're getting away with it because you want to fucking believe America is God Damn "Special."

And they're not exactly hiding these days. They are in front of you all the fucking time reminding you who you are and what you believe. Meanwhile, when they're not on a talk show or a news broadcast, they're literally mowing down the Entire Fucking Planet.

Nobody's asking you to save the world. Nobody's asking you to take a bullet. All we're asking is for you to

WAKE
THE FUCK
UP

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

These are great, I hope you do more!