I am a musician part 1: Guitar. Guitarists chime in.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

I am a musician.

Specifically I am a guitarist.

I didn't want to be a guitarist in the first place. I wanted to be a bassist and sing. I'm a bassist and a singer.

When I was 12 I had the dilemma of going for science, or going for music. I knew, once I heard that album, what I wanted to be. There was no going back. The pursuit of knowledge was waylaid. When I was a lad, I wanted to invent things, and solve problems. Ironically, science made me a musician. I was going to be an astronomer and a physicist, and I started writing that paper in sixth grade, and uncle Bob said it was too quiet, and here, let's put on some music, while you work on this incredibly early 90s computer word processor. I never gave a shit about music before. Why should I? It was all hit songs and incidental music on soundtracks.

"Here we are now, entertain us" "I don't care what you think unless it is about me" "Never met a wise man. If so it's a woman. Gotta finda way a better way I'd better wait ..." "Stay, stay away, stay away, God is gay...." Oh, I hated that last part. Why? "I've got this friend he makes me feel/and I've wanted more than I can steal/I'll arrest myself I'll wear a shielf/I'll go out of my way to prove I still... smell of you.... Don't... tell me what I want to hear..."

My cousin got a guitar. I started pushing for a bass.

Basses are too expensive. We'll get you a guitar. Pick it out.

I still have Connie. She's in rough shape, and I wouldn't gig with her. I didn't want her in the first place. She had too many high pitched strings and I was looking for a cheap bass. But I saw Connie, and it was fucking love at first sight. And I still have her for a reason.

I wanted to be a bassist. For my 14th birthday, I got a guitar. The best guitar. The shittiest guitar. My guitar. Horrible fucking pick ups, probably warped neck, worn down frets.... That's my girl. Even gigged with her (big mistake). Mine. My first.

I was born on 6 August 1981. 14 came early. On 4 August 1995, I became a guitarist.

I love Connie. She's a shitty guitar. I would be honored to be buried with her. I would be honored if she was the last guitar I played, ever. I always want to make upgrades to Connie, and I never do, and it's not because of my wallet. i just don't want the old bird to change, busted up irrelevant.

I love Connie. Having her in my life is worth not being a bassist.

Connie is short for Concussion, because when I was a stupid fucking kid, I would walk out of rooms with her strapped on, and hitting her headstock against door frames. It just made sense.

[Left]