tell me about your sex life

[Doktor Howl]

Needless to say, I got in one little fight and my mom got scared.

[Freeky]

Oh do I have a story. If you've been following me you'd know recently I had a nice spell of self destructive hedonism. Bassically I met a guy on tinder who was having a party. I show up with a bottle of lube and a box of condoms. After the normal cordial greetings I loudly exclaim "which one of you faggets wants the first ride?". This was the start of a good night. Used almost all the condoms. My favorite part of the night was teaching this qt skinny Mexican how to suck dick. Id show it on him, then he'd copy it on me. Another good one was this really aggressive guy who only cared about himself. He'd pull my hair and yell at me to take it. So after he finished I grabbed his hair and pinned him down. Whispered in his ear "safe word is pinkie pie" then pounded him pretty well. He seemed to enjoy it, but not fully. Always nice to add in some exestential dread to the bed room. The rest where pretty normal starting out akward till I took the lead. There was even a girl. Asian one as well. Anyway, I was driving home with a buttplug in to keep me hard when I saw two shining lights on the side of the road. I slowed down and tried to swur e, but I still ended up cliping a deers front leg.
I am a man of opportunity,  and well, zoo and furry is a thing so why not try it?
I pulled over, and began chasing the deer through a feild. A deer with a broken leg was easy to catch upto, but it was about to jump a ditch into a tree line, i didn't want to cause trouble in the neighborhood so I decided to tackle it. I pinned it underneath me and tried to hold it's front legs down while I unzipped my pants. My hold on the legs slipped when I was fumbling with my belt. The deer gave me a pretty good punch to the face. Needless to say, I got in one little fight and my mom got scared.. http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AVbQo3IOC_A

So glad I stuck with this post.